Ruling on severing family ties if maintaining them leads to harm
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Question:
She has a long question, which is summarized in the following words, O Shaykh: She says: I have relatives who are the closest people to me on my father's side, but I am unable to maintain ties with them because of the wrongs they commit against us. If we maintain ties with them, we bear sin against us. Do we sin if we sever our ties with them?
Answer:
This requires detail: If the relatives are disbelievers, there is no need to maintain ties with them, provided they are not a father or a mother. If there is no father or mother among them, that is the case. As for the father and mother, even if they sever ties, even if they beat the child, or even if they call him to sin, their right is not dropped regarding showing kindness to them and striving for their guidance. This is because Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) said regarding the disbelievers: [Luqman: 15], and He said: [Luqman: 15]. Thus, He prohibited obeying them in shirk (associating partners with Allah), and likewise in sin; they are not to be obeyed in sin. However, along with this, He said: [Luqman 31:15] So the parents have a status different from that of the rest of the relatives.
It is obligatory for the child to accompany them with kindness and to be good to them, even if they are bad to him, and even if they are disbelievers.
As for the rest of the relatives, if they are bad to you, there is no blame on you in severing ties with them and leaving them. If you maintain ties with them for the sake of calling to Allah, and for the sake of kindness, perhaps they will be guided. This is a matter of what is right and a matter of good, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih al-Bukhari 5991. A man said to him (peace and blessings be upon him): O Messenger of Allah! I have relatives whom I maintain ties with, but they sever ties with me. I am good to them, but they are bad to me. I am patient with them, but they are ignorant toward me. He said (peace and blessings be upon him): Sahih Muslim 2558a meaning: the hot embers Sahih Muslim 2558a.
The point is: Allah will help you against them, and perhaps Allah will guide them by means of that, but it is not obligatory for you to do so.
As for your Muslim relatives, you should be good to them and maintain ties with them, even if they are bad to you. You should be better than them, you should be better than them, and perhaps Allah will guide them by means of that. Even if they do not accept, if they return the greeting to you, there is no harm; accept it. If they return the greeting to you, you have fulfilled what is required of you. As for if they accept, praise be to Allah. If they are poor and you are good to them, you greet them and return their greetings, you call them to Allah, and even if they do not respond, you are rewarded, and they are sinful if they reject the truth. Yes.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good.
She has a long question, which is summarized in the following words, O Shaykh: She says: I have relatives who are the closest people to me on my father's side, but I am unable to maintain ties with them because of the wrongs they commit against us. If we maintain ties with them, we bear sin against us. Do we sin if we sever our ties with them?
Answer:
This requires detail: If the relatives are disbelievers, there is no need to maintain ties with them, provided they are not a father or a mother. If there is no father or mother among them, that is the case. As for the father and mother, even if they sever ties, even if they beat the child, or even if they call him to sin, their right is not dropped regarding showing kindness to them and striving for their guidance. This is because Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) said regarding the disbelievers:
but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًاBut if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًاbut accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
وصاحبهما في الدنيا معروفاًIt is obligatory for the child to accompany them with kindness and to be good to them, even if they are bad to him, and even if they are disbelievers.
As for the rest of the relatives, if they are bad to you, there is no blame on you in severing ties with them and leaving them. If you maintain ties with them for the sake of calling to Allah, and for the sake of kindness, perhaps they will be guided. This is a matter of what is right and a matter of good, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him.
ليس الواصل بالمكافي، ولكن الواصل الذي إذا قطعت رحمه وصلهاIf it is so as you say, then you in fact throw hot ashes
لئن كنت كما قلت فكأنما تسفهم الملthere would always remain with you on behalf of Allah (an Angel to support you) who would keep you dominant over them so long as you adhere to this (path of righteousness).
ولا يزال معك من الله ظاهر عليهم ما دمت على ذلكThe point is: Allah will help you against them, and perhaps Allah will guide them by means of that, but it is not obligatory for you to do so.
As for your Muslim relatives, you should be good to them and maintain ties with them, even if they are bad to you. You should be better than them, you should be better than them, and perhaps Allah will guide them by means of that. Even if they do not accept, if they return the greeting to you, there is no harm; accept it. If they return the greeting to you, you have fulfilled what is required of you. As for if they accept, praise be to Allah. If they are poor and you are good to them, you greet them and return their greetings, you call them to Allah, and even if they do not respond, you are rewarded, and they are sinful if they reject the truth. Yes.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.