Guidance for one who strives to maintain family ties while they cut him off
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Question:
Our brother also asks and says: I am from a family that has had an old dispute with my uncle’s family, the cause of which I do not know, except that they say it is due to inheritance. All attempts at reconciliation and making peace between them have failed. Since circumstances brought me and my younger cousin together in school, in the same class, and we also live on the same street, we became friends despite the family disputes between the two families. However, my cousin was quickly influenced by his family and changed his attitude toward me, especially after completing his education, to the point where he meets me as if we had never known each other and does not speak to me. Although our friends have intervened to reconcile us, he soon returns to cutting me off again. I have sought the mediation of people of good, but to no avail. When I became desperate, I left him, and I have not spoken to him since. I ask you to inform me, may Allah reward you, of the ruling in Islam regarding this estrangement, so that I do not commit a sin by cutting him off. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
You have done well in what you did, for you tried to maintain the family ties. You have done well, may Allah reward you with good. We advise you to try and strive to maintain the family ties with your cousin, your cousins, and your uncle, if he is still alive, even if they dislike it. You do what you can, such as greeting them, visiting them when they are sick, praying for their well-being and guidance, and consoling their poor. You are on the right path, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in the authentic hadith:Sahih al-Bukhari 5991 narrated by al-Bukhari in his Sahih. And his saying (peace and blessings be upon him) when a man asked him, saying: O Messenger of Allah! I have relatives who I maintain ties with, but they cut me off. I do good to them, but they do evil to me. I am patient with them, but they are rude to me. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 52.
So, my brother, you are on the right path. Strive to maintain the ties and do good as much as you can. If you do not succeed, the sin is on them, and you have a reward. The sin is on the one who refuses, and you have a reward for the attempt and for mediating through people of good whom you see, and for advising your family and your uncle’s family to abandon hostility. Money is an easy matter, and this world is entirely an easy matter. The believer should seek what pleases Allah and brings him closer to Him, and should abandon hostility and severance. Allah will replace the money that was lost with something better for him, [Surah al-Qasas: 60]. This is what is required of you and other Muslims with their relatives. And Allah is the Helper. Yes.
The presenter: And Allah is the Helper, may Allah reward you with good.
Our brother also asks and says: I am from a family that has had an old dispute with my uncle’s family, the cause of which I do not know, except that they say it is due to inheritance. All attempts at reconciliation and making peace between them have failed. Since circumstances brought me and my younger cousin together in school, in the same class, and we also live on the same street, we became friends despite the family disputes between the two families. However, my cousin was quickly influenced by his family and changed his attitude toward me, especially after completing his education, to the point where he meets me as if we had never known each other and does not speak to me. Although our friends have intervened to reconcile us, he soon returns to cutting me off again. I have sought the mediation of people of good, but to no avail. When I became desperate, I left him, and I have not spoken to him since. I ask you to inform me, may Allah reward you, of the ruling in Islam regarding this estrangement, so that I do not commit a sin by cutting him off. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
You have done well in what you did, for you tried to maintain the family ties. You have done well, may Allah reward you with good. We advise you to try and strive to maintain the family ties with your cousin, your cousins, and your uncle, if he is still alive, even if they dislike it. You do what you can, such as greeting them, visiting them when they are sick, praying for their well-being and guidance, and consoling their poor. You are on the right path, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in the authentic hadith:
Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him.
ليس الواصل بالمكافئ وإنما الواصل الذي إذا قطعت رحمه وصلهاIf things are as you said, it is as if you were putting hot ashes on them and you will not lack a supporter against them from Allah as long as you continue to do that.
لئن كنت كما قلت لكأنما تسفهم المل ولا يزال معك من الله ظهير عليهم ما دمت على ذلكSo, my brother, you are on the right path. Strive to maintain the ties and do good as much as you can. If you do not succeed, the sin is on them, and you have a reward. The sin is on the one who refuses, and you have a reward for the attempt and for mediating through people of good whom you see, and for advising your family and your uncle’s family to abandon hostility. Money is an easy matter, and this world is entirely an easy matter. The believer should seek what pleases Allah and brings him closer to Him, and should abandon hostility and severance. Allah will replace the money that was lost with something better for him,
And what is with Allah is better and more lasting
وَمَا عِنْدَ اللَّهِ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَىThe presenter: And Allah is the Helper, may Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.