Maintaining Family Ties Even If They Cut Us Off
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Fatwa No. ( 8774 )
Q: I have a mother whom Allah has afflicted with an illness that has left her bedridden, which has resulted in her inability to manage marital life. My father sought treatment for her both inside and outside the Kingdom, but to no avail. This led my father to marry another woman, out of fear for himself of committing zina (unlawful sexual intercourse), and he is, praise be to Allah, in good health. We, all his children, are in agreement with his marriage. My mother is still under my father’s care and is honored.
One day, my mother’s sister (my aunt) who is younger than her came to the house and asked us to bring my mother to stay with her for a month for the purpose of treatment and care. After the aunt learned about the marriage, and after the month had passed, we asked her to return my mother to us because she had not improved. The aunt refused strongly and categorically. The reason was that the aunt and some of her brothers (my uncles) did not approve of my father’s marriage. When we asked our aunt why she was not pleased with my father’s marriage, she said: “I would prefer your father to commit zina rather than marry over my sister; because he will bear the sin alone.” Some of her brothers (my uncles) said: “Let us assume your father is the one who is ill; does our sister have the right to demand divorce and marry another man?” My mother was brought back from them by force, out of fear that my father would divorce her. This led me to raise my hand to strike my aunt when a quarrel broke out between her and my uncles, but I sought refuge in Allah from Shaytan and did not do it, praise be to Allah. We are now at ease and living a pleasant life with my mother. A week after the quarrel, I went back to my aunt to apologize to her and to maintain family ties, but unfortunately, she did not greet me. Two weeks later, I visited her again, and she greeted me without any welcome. I live in the city of Baqīq only, so I cut off visiting her (my aunt
and my uncles) from our house unless I return to the house in al-Ahsa. I, my father, and my brothers live in one residence in the city of Baqīq , while my aunt and uncles live in the city of al-Ahsa . I have a second house near them in al-Ahsa, which I visit for about three days every month. My aunt comes only to greet my mother, sits with her for about half an hour or more, and then leaves. As for the other uncles who do not approve of the marriage, none of them has seen my mother for about a full year, though some of them visit her every month or two. My aunt does not come to the house where I live in Baqīq, and even if we stay for a long time, she does not see her sister. Previously, she used to visit us every two or three weeks at most. Therefore, O honorable Shaykh, I ask you to answer the following questions: 1 - What is our position as the children regarding maintaining family ties with my aunt and uncles, given that they do not respect my father now and do not like to hear his name? Should we maintain ties with them or cut them off until they resolve the issue with my father? My father has not asked us to cut them off, but it is hard for me to visit them, and they do not respect my father, nor do they receive me with the affection and love that everyone knows. I have asked for a reconciliation from the side of my aunt and uncles with my father, and for the family to return to how it was, but without reaching a result.
2 - What is the ruling on the permissibility of marrying four women, and when is it prescribed for a Muslim to marry four women? 3 - What is the consequence for one who commands zina or advises it—may Allah protect us from that—in order to prevent marriage to his wife? 4 - What is the position of my aunt and uncles in this matter? Are they correct or wrong regarding my father’s action?
A: If the situation is as described: First: You must maintain ties with your relatives, your aunt and uncles, even if they cut you off and do not return your visits, and do not meet you with a pleasant face. You will have the reward of maintaining ties, and they will bear the sin of cutting ties. Second: It is permissible to have multiple wives for one who is able to fulfill their rights and does not fear being unjust or unable to be fair among them in the home. Third: One who dislikes multiple wives and advises against them, and sees for himself or others that they should not have multiple wives, even if that leads to zina—has erred in his belief and sinned in his speech and advice to others. He must repent to Allah, seek His forgiveness, and retract his statement and advice. Fourth: If the situation of your aunt and uncles is as you described, they are wrong in cutting off family ties and being stern with your father and his children.
And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Q: I have a mother whom Allah has afflicted with an illness that has left her bedridden, which has resulted in her inability to manage marital life. My father sought treatment for her both inside and outside the Kingdom, but to no avail. This led my father to marry another woman, out of fear for himself of committing zina (unlawful sexual intercourse), and he is, praise be to Allah, in good health. We, all his children, are in agreement with his marriage. My mother is still under my father’s care and is honored.
One day, my mother’s sister (my aunt) who is younger than her came to the house and asked us to bring my mother to stay with her for a month for the purpose of treatment and care. After the aunt learned about the marriage, and after the month had passed, we asked her to return my mother to us because she had not improved. The aunt refused strongly and categorically. The reason was that the aunt and some of her brothers (my uncles) did not approve of my father’s marriage. When we asked our aunt why she was not pleased with my father’s marriage, she said: “I would prefer your father to commit zina rather than marry over my sister; because he will bear the sin alone.” Some of her brothers (my uncles) said: “Let us assume your father is the one who is ill; does our sister have the right to demand divorce and marry another man?” My mother was brought back from them by force, out of fear that my father would divorce her. This led me to raise my hand to strike my aunt when a quarrel broke out between her and my uncles, but I sought refuge in Allah from Shaytan and did not do it, praise be to Allah. We are now at ease and living a pleasant life with my mother. A week after the quarrel, I went back to my aunt to apologize to her and to maintain family ties, but unfortunately, she did not greet me. Two weeks later, I visited her again, and she greeted me without any welcome. I live in the city of Baqīq only, so I cut off visiting her (my aunt
and my uncles) from our house unless I return to the house in al-Ahsa. I, my father, and my brothers live in one residence in the city of Baqīq , while my aunt and uncles live in the city of al-Ahsa . I have a second house near them in al-Ahsa, which I visit for about three days every month. My aunt comes only to greet my mother, sits with her for about half an hour or more, and then leaves. As for the other uncles who do not approve of the marriage, none of them has seen my mother for about a full year, though some of them visit her every month or two. My aunt does not come to the house where I live in Baqīq, and even if we stay for a long time, she does not see her sister. Previously, she used to visit us every two or three weeks at most. Therefore, O honorable Shaykh, I ask you to answer the following questions: 1 - What is our position as the children regarding maintaining family ties with my aunt and uncles, given that they do not respect my father now and do not like to hear his name? Should we maintain ties with them or cut them off until they resolve the issue with my father? My father has not asked us to cut them off, but it is hard for me to visit them, and they do not respect my father, nor do they receive me with the affection and love that everyone knows. I have asked for a reconciliation from the side of my aunt and uncles with my father, and for the family to return to how it was, but without reaching a result.
2 - What is the ruling on the permissibility of marrying four women, and when is it prescribed for a Muslim to marry four women? 3 - What is the consequence for one who commands zina or advises it—may Allah protect us from that—in order to prevent marriage to his wife? 4 - What is the position of my aunt and uncles in this matter? Are they correct or wrong regarding my father’s action?
A: If the situation is as described: First: You must maintain ties with your relatives, your aunt and uncles, even if they cut you off and do not return your visits, and do not meet you with a pleasant face. You will have the reward of maintaining ties, and they will bear the sin of cutting ties. Second: It is permissible to have multiple wives for one who is able to fulfill their rights and does not fear being unjust or unable to be fair among them in the home. Third: One who dislikes multiple wives and advises against them, and sees for himself or others that they should not have multiple wives, even if that leads to zina—has erred in his belief and sinned in his speech and advice to others. He must repent to Allah, seek His forgiveness, and retract his statement and advice. Fourth: If the situation of your aunt and uncles is as you described, they are wrong in cutting off family ties and being stern with your father and his children.
And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.