Ruling on severing family ties due to bad character
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Question:
The questioner (N. S. H.) from Makkah al-Mukarramah mentions the Shaykh in her question and says: that she constantly severs her ties with her sisters, stating: "I do not speak to them," and this severance may last for more than a month due to their bad character and the use of words that she says: "I do not accept." What is required of me? And do my deeds not ascend to the heavens during that period? And what should I do since they are my sisters?
Answer:
It is obligatory to maintain family ties, and tolerance is among the easy matters that are not sins, along with advice and guidance toward good. Severing family ties is not permissible; because Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) says:[Muhammad 47:22] Those are the ones whom Allah has cursed, so He has made them deaf and blinded their eyes [Muhammad: 22-23]. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Sunan Abi Dawud 1696Sahih (Al-Albani) So it is obligatory to be cautious.
You must visit them, and they must visit you, and you must also tolerate one another. Through the phone with kind words—via the telephone—if the visit is not feasible, meaning: the telephone with kind words. And if they have foulness in their speech, you must advise them so that they become accustomed to kind speech. And whoever knows this among the relatives should advise these sisters so that the situation becomes right between you, if Allah wills.
The intended meaning: what is prescribed is patience with advice, guidance, and appropriate visits, or via the telephone, so that severance does not occur. And they should fear Allah, and listen and obey in what is criticized of them.
And if the reality is a slight amount of bad speech, then advice is sufficient, if Allah wills, and it is not permissible for you to sever ties with them. But if it is sins, and open commission of sins, this necessitates boycotting them, such as if they curse and insult you, or if they openly commit sins by mixing with men, or drinking intoxicants, or playing and using entertainment and vile songs. These are wrongdoings, and you must boycott them until they repent and become upright in obedience to Allah and His Messenger.
But if it is simple matters of bad speech between you, or joking among you, or something similar, then you must advise and guide, and perhaps Allah will guide them through your means. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh.
The questioner (N. S. H.) from Makkah al-Mukarramah mentions the Shaykh in her question and says: that she constantly severs her ties with her sisters, stating: "I do not speak to them," and this severance may last for more than a month due to their bad character and the use of words that she says: "I do not accept." What is required of me? And do my deeds not ascend to the heavens during that period? And what should I do since they are my sisters?
Answer:
It is obligatory to maintain family ties, and tolerance is among the easy matters that are not sins, along with advice and guidance toward good. Severing family ties is not permissible; because Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) says:
So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship?
فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِنْ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَنْ تُفْسِدُوا فِي الأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ Anyone who cuts off relationship from his nearest relatives will not enter Paradise.
لا يدخل الجنة قاطع رحمYou must visit them, and they must visit you, and you must also tolerate one another. Through the phone with kind words—via the telephone—if the visit is not feasible, meaning: the telephone with kind words. And if they have foulness in their speech, you must advise them so that they become accustomed to kind speech. And whoever knows this among the relatives should advise these sisters so that the situation becomes right between you, if Allah wills.
The intended meaning: what is prescribed is patience with advice, guidance, and appropriate visits, or via the telephone, so that severance does not occur. And they should fear Allah, and listen and obey in what is criticized of them.
And if the reality is a slight amount of bad speech, then advice is sufficient, if Allah wills, and it is not permissible for you to sever ties with them. But if it is sins, and open commission of sins, this necessitates boycotting them, such as if they curse and insult you, or if they openly commit sins by mixing with men, or drinking intoxicants, or playing and using entertainment and vile songs. These are wrongdoings, and you must boycott them until they repent and become upright in obedience to Allah and His Messenger.
But if it is simple matters of bad speech between you, or joking among you, or something similar, then you must advise and guide, and perhaps Allah will guide them through your means. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good, O Shaykh.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.