Ruling on severing family ties due to disputes
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Your Eminence! In some villages, it is common for people to sever ties, quarrel, and boycott one another, even among relatives. This can last for a month, two months, or even years, and there is no power or strength except with Allah. Some of the sons of these people want to greet the others, visit them, and see them, but their father or brothers get angry at them.And perhaps they will sever ties with him and boycott him because he: They have gone to their opponent. So, should they disobey their parents and go to greet them? Or should they obey their parents and remain in boycott of the others for the rest of their lives?
This question includes two pieces of guidance: The first piece of guidance is to direct it to these people who get angry at their sons or relatives when they maintain their family ties.And we say to those who get angry at the maintenance of family ties: They are opposing Allah the Mighty and Majestic and defying Him. How so? Did not Allah command the maintenance of family ties? And if He commanded it, He is pleased with it. These people are not pleased with what Allah is pleased with, and they do not command what Allah has commanded. Rather, they forbid what Allah has commanded. Thus, they possess a characteristic and a trait of the hypocrites.What did Allah say about the traits of the hypocrites: [At-Tawbah: 67] These people command the severing of family ties and forbid their maintenance. This is a trait of the hypocrites.
So I direct my words to these people: They should repent to their Lord, not oppose Allah the Mighty and Majestic in His command, not be pleased with what Allah dislikes, and not dislike what Allah is pleased with, before they die in this state. And Allah the Exalted said: [Muhammad: 22-23] It is evident that Allah has blinded the eyes of these people because they do not approve of what Allah approves of, nor do they command what Allah has commanded. Rather, they dislike what Allah approves of and forbid what Allah has commanded. This is a blinding of the eyes. As for the curse, that is up to Allah.But Allah promised them:[Muhammad 47:23] They became unable to hear the truth or look at it.
Then the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: (No one who severs family ties will enter Paradise) Will these people be pleased to die in this state and then not enter Paradise? This is the first piece of guidance regarding those who are not pleased when a man maintains his family ties.
As for the others, which is the second piece of guidance: So I say to those who say: "Our father, or our brother, or our mother is not pleased that I maintain my family ties,"I say: Maintain your family ties even if it angers him. Because if you maintain your family ties, you have obeyed your Lord. And if you do not maintain your family ties, you have disobeyed your Lord. Is Allah disobeyed by obeying a creation, or is a creation disobeyed by obeying Allah? A creation is disobeyed by obeying Allah.So I say: Maintain your family ties even if they do not want you to. If they sever ties with you, maintain ties with them. And as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to a man who reported: (That he maintains his family ties and they sever ties with him, he is kind to them and they are unkind to him, he is patient with them and they get angry at him,So he said: If you are as you say, it is as if you are pouring molten lead into their mouths) Meaning: as if you are putting hot embers in their mouths.
So I say to the brother: Maintain family ties, whether your father is angry or not. Then, spare no effort in advising your father.And you say: "O my father, this is forbidden for you. How do you command what is wrong and forbid what is right? Then ask him and advise him to maintain family ties himself, even if he gets angry at you. What did Ibrahim say to his father? [Maryam: 42] Until his father said to him: [Maryam: 46] .
This question includes two pieces of guidance: The first piece of guidance is to direct it to these people who get angry at their sons or relatives when they maintain their family ties.And we say to those who get angry at the maintenance of family ties: They are opposing Allah the Mighty and Majestic and defying Him. How so? Did not Allah command the maintenance of family ties? And if He commanded it, He is pleased with it. These people are not pleased with what Allah is pleased with, and they do not command what Allah has commanded. Rather, they forbid what Allah has commanded. Thus, they possess a characteristic and a trait of the hypocrites.What did Allah say about the traits of the hypocrites:
The hypocrite men and hypocrite women are of one another. They enjoin what is wrong and forbid what is right
الْمُنَافِقُونَ وَالْمُنَافِقَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ مِنْ بَعْضٍ يَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمُنْكَرِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمَعْرُوفِSo I direct my words to these people: They should repent to their Lord, not oppose Allah the Mighty and Majestic in His command, not be pleased with what Allah dislikes, and not dislike what Allah is pleased with, before they die in this state. And Allah the Exalted said:
(22) So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship? (23) Those [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision.
فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِنْ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَنْ تُفْسِدُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ * أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ اللَّهُ فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَى أَبْصَارَهُمْThose [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision.
أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ اللَّهُ فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَى أَبْصَارَهُمْThen the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: (No one who severs family ties will enter Paradise) Will these people be pleased to die in this state and then not enter Paradise? This is the first piece of guidance regarding those who are not pleased when a man maintains his family ties.
As for the others, which is the second piece of guidance: So I say to those who say: "Our father, or our brother, or our mother is not pleased that I maintain my family ties,"I say: Maintain your family ties even if it angers him. Because if you maintain your family ties, you have obeyed your Lord. And if you do not maintain your family ties, you have disobeyed your Lord. Is Allah disobeyed by obeying a creation, or is a creation disobeyed by obeying Allah? A creation is disobeyed by obeying Allah.So I say: Maintain your family ties even if they do not want you to. If they sever ties with you, maintain ties with them. And as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to a man who reported: (That he maintains his family ties and they sever ties with him, he is kind to them and they are unkind to him, he is patient with them and they get angry at him,So he said: If you are as you say, it is as if you are pouring molten lead into their mouths) Meaning: as if you are putting hot embers in their mouths.
So I say to the brother: Maintain family ties, whether your father is angry or not. Then, spare no effort in advising your father.And you say: "O my father, this is forbidden for you. How do you command what is wrong and forbid what is right? Then ask him and advise him to maintain family ties himself, even if he gets angry at you. What did Ibrahim say to his father?