The Ruling on a Father Severing Ties with His Daughter
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Question:
I have been living with my mother’s husband since I was only seven months old, and I am now twenty-two years old. I do not know my father, and I have never seen him in my life. He does not know me, nor does he know anything about me, and he does not provide for me. Recently, I moved to the same area where he lives, but he has not even tried to see me or ask about me. I am a person who fears Allah greatly, and I weep knowing the result of severing family ties. I am a girl under the authority of my family, while he is a man free to act as he pleases; therefore, I cannot visit him. How can I visit a man whom I do not recognize if I happen to see him on the road? What do you advise me to do?
May Allah reward you with the best reward.
Answer:
There is no doubt that this action is wrong on his part and constitutes severing family ties. It is obligatory for him to fear Allah in this matter, to maintain ties with his daughter, to treat her well, to make himself known to her, and to show paternal affection so that his daughter knows him, so that he fulfills his duty to his daughter, and so that he maintains his kinship ties. As for her, she must be dutiful to him and maintain ties with him, even if he is harsh. She should visit him in the company of someone who knows him, so that she does not mistake him. She should visit him with her brother who knows him, or with her mother, or with her maternal aunt, or with someone who knows him, so that she recognizes him well. She should not be like him, severing ties, but rather be better than him, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said in the authentic hadith:Sahih al-Bukhari 5991.
So when it reaches her, she is the one who maintains the tie, and he is the one who severs it, and she will receive the reward for maintaining the tie. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said in the authentic hadith:Sunan Abi Dawud 1696Sahih (Al-Albani) And he (peace and blessings be upon him) reported that Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) said to the womb when it complained to Him: In the other wording, He (Exalted and Majestic is He) said: This is a great warning. And he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 56
It is obligatory for him to maintain ties with you, treat you well, get to know you, and fulfill the duties of fatherhood. And you have an even greater duty, because you are his daughter and his right is greater. You must get to know him through trustworthy people, such as your mother or your brother, or the like. You must maintain ties with him, visit him, and apologize to him if you have fallen short in his rights. If he has neglected you for certain reasons, apologize to him, speak to him kindly, and ask him to forgive you for any shortcoming on your part.
This is what is obligatory for you: to be more concerned with maintaining ties than he is, because his right is greater, and because the one who maintains ties is the one who initiates, not the one who reciprocates. Although the one who reciprocates is rewarded, the one who maintains ties with the one who severed them is better and has a greater reward. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
I have been living with my mother’s husband since I was only seven months old, and I am now twenty-two years old. I do not know my father, and I have never seen him in my life. He does not know me, nor does he know anything about me, and he does not provide for me. Recently, I moved to the same area where he lives, but he has not even tried to see me or ask about me. I am a person who fears Allah greatly, and I weep knowing the result of severing family ties. I am a girl under the authority of my family, while he is a man free to act as he pleases; therefore, I cannot visit him. How can I visit a man whom I do not recognize if I happen to see him on the road? What do you advise me to do?
May Allah reward you with the best reward.
Answer:
There is no doubt that this action is wrong on his part and constitutes severing family ties. It is obligatory for him to fear Allah in this matter, to maintain ties with his daughter, to treat her well, to make himself known to her, and to show paternal affection so that his daughter knows him, so that he fulfills his duty to his daughter, and so that he maintains his kinship ties. As for her, she must be dutiful to him and maintain ties with him, even if he is harsh. She should visit him in the company of someone who knows him, so that she does not mistake him. She should visit him with her brother who knows him, or with her mother, or with her maternal aunt, or with someone who knows him, so that she recognizes him well. She should not be like him, severing ties, but rather be better than him, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said in the authentic hadith:
Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him.
ليس الواصل بالمكافئ، ولكن الواصل الذي إذا قطعت رحمه وصلهاSo when it reaches her, she is the one who maintains the tie, and he is the one who severs it, and she will receive the reward for maintaining the tie. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said in the authentic hadith:
Anyone who cuts off relationship from his nearest relatives will not enter Paradise.
لا يدخل الجنة قاطع رحمWill you not be pleased that I will maintain ties with whoever maintains ties with you, and I will sever ties with whoever severs ties with you? She said: Yes, my Lord. He said: That is for you.
ألا ترضين أن أصل من وصلك وأن أقطع من قطعك؟ قالت: بلى يا رب، قال: إن ذلك لكWhoever maintains ties with you—meaning kinship—I will maintain ties with them, and whoever severs ties with you—I will sever ties with them.
من وصلك -يعني: الرحم- وصلته، ومن قطعك بتتهAnyone who wants to have his provision expanded and his term of life prolonged should maintain ties of kinship.
من أحب أن يبسط له في رزقه، وأن ينسأ له في أجله؛ فليصل رحمهIt is obligatory for him to maintain ties with you, treat you well, get to know you, and fulfill the duties of fatherhood. And you have an even greater duty, because you are his daughter and his right is greater. You must get to know him through trustworthy people, such as your mother or your brother, or the like. You must maintain ties with him, visit him, and apologize to him if you have fallen short in his rights. If he has neglected you for certain reasons, apologize to him, speak to him kindly, and ask him to forgive you for any shortcoming on your part.
This is what is obligatory for you: to be more concerned with maintaining ties than he is, because his right is greater, and because the one who maintains ties is the one who initiates, not the one who reciprocates. Although the one who reciprocates is rewarded, the one who maintains ties with the one who severed them is better and has a greater reward. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.