What does the one offering condolences say, and what does the one receiving them say?

The questioner : What does the one offering condolences say? And what does the one receiving them say?

The Shaykh : Yes. First, we must know that the word for condolence (ta'ziyah) means strengthening.

The questioner : Yes.

The Shaykh : That is, strengthening the bereaved to bear the calamity and be patient with it. Therefore, if someone has lost a relative but has not been struck by a calamity through his death, he is not offered condolences, for what would he be consoled about! But if someone has lost a relative and has been struck by the loss and grieved over it, then he is offered condolences, whether the deceased was one of his relatives, his friends, his colleagues, or the people of his town. The important thing is to know that this man grieved over the loss of this deceased person, so we offer him condolences. And what does it mean to offer him condolences? It means we bring words by which he is consoled and by which he seeks help in being patient. The best of what has been reported in this regard is what came from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), where he said to one of his daughters, and a boy was with her in his death throes: This is the greatest condolence.
That is, regarding the calamity. That is, its reward with Allah (Mighty and Majestic). Entrusting the matter to Allah. All creation belongs to Allah (Mighty and Majestic), so why do we grieve when He disposes of His dominion as He wills? Everything with Him is by a specified term, meaning it is a delayed matter that cannot be changed. Grief does not bring back the absent, nor does it revive the dead. Everything is by a specified, determined term; they do not delay it by an hour, nor bring it forward. These great words, when they reach the heart of a bereaved person, bring him peace. He says, "If I am patient and seek reward, I will be firm in patience and in seeking reward. And if I look to the fact that the dominion belongs to Allah and He disposes of it as He wills, I will be convinced. This is His dominion, and He does what He wills. And if I know that everything is by a delayed term, I will know that this one who died cannot be brought forward or delayed. The matter must occur as it was written." He consoles himself with this, and the grief becomes lighter for him. Perhaps, if this supplication is repeated by people, the grief will disappear entirely. So the best thing by which one offers condolences is this: "Be patient and seek reward. To Allah belongs what He has taken, and to Him belongs what He has given, and everything with Him is by a specified term." And if he says other words that are appropriate, such as saying, "This is the world, and we are going to what he has gone to. No one has been made immortal, and Allah has not made immortality for any human being," and the like of that, I hope there is no harm in it. However, if he had restricted himself to what was reported, that would have been better. As for the one receiving condolences, he says: "May Allah reward you with good and help us and you in patience," and the like of appropriate words. Yes.

The questioner : May Allah reward you with good, O honorable Shaykh. This questioner is from Libya. Do you say...