How to reconcile loving him (peace and blessings be upon him) with not exaggerating in his regard?

Question:
How do we reconcile the hadith of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him): , with his saying (peace and blessings be upon him): ?

Answer:
There is no contradiction or conflict between the two hadiths, as you have heard the discussion on this.
The hadith of prevents us from exaggeration and excess, such as saying: he knows the unseen. This is the exaggeration: that he knows the unseen, and that he is called upon besides Allah, and that he is sought for aid after his death (peace and blessings be upon him), or that he controls the universe, or that he admits to Paradise whom he wills, or that Allah created the creation for his sake, as some of the ignorant and some of the mistaken say. This is from exaggeration.
As for during his life (peace and blessings be upon him), there is no harm in seeking his help in what he is capable of, like any other creation. The living, present, and capable person is sought for help in what he is capable of. You say to him: help me with such and such, with the expenses of the family, lend me such and such, help me from the public treasury with such and such, my brother, help me fix my car, with the repair of my house, with my farm. There is no harm, just as Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) said in the story of Musa: [Surat al-Qasas: 15].
As for after death: neither the Prophet nor anyone else is asked for anything, nor is aid sought from him, nor is he called upon for help, nor is the Bedouin asked, nor Shaykh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani, nor al-Husayn, nor so-and-so, as the worshippers of graves do, and as the Rafidah do with the people of the house. This is a great abomination, and a grave shirk (associating partners with Allah), and worship of other than Allah, and excessive exaggeration. But during his life, intercession is sought from him on the Day of Resurrection at the resurrection and rising. The believers seek intercession from him for the people of the standing place. This is the truth. As for in the barzakh (the interval between death and resurrection) in the state of death, he is not called upon, neither he nor anyone else (peace and blessings be upon him), nor is he sought for aid, nor are vows made to him as the ignorant and the extremists do. No, this is a great calamity that many people have fallen into, even those who are attributed to knowledge and called scholars in many cities. There is no power and no strength except with Allah. We ask Allah for safety.
And as for the hadith of , its meaning is: that he loves him with a sincere love, more important than ourselves, and than our children. What does this mean? It means: we prioritize his obedience over the obedience of our desires. We prioritize his obedience and we pray in congregation even if it contradicts our desire, even if we would like to rest with the family, or in eating, or in such and such. No, we prioritize the obedience of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him); because it is obligatory that we love him above the love of ourselves, so we obey him in what he commanded us, and we refrain from what he forbade, even if it contradicts our desires and our appetites, and we carry out what is obligatory upon us, and what he commanded us (peace and blessings be upon him), whether that is from our enthusiasm, or from hardship. We are patient and we perform the obligatory out of love, and out of desire, and out of compliance.
A person sometimes weakens: in the cold, in sleep, in the presence of some people with him. But the love of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), and indeed the love of Allah, is above that; it obligates him to prefer the right of Allah over the right of people and over the right of the self, and to hasten to what Allah has obligated, even if he loves sitting or sleeping or the like. He prioritizes the obligatory obedience of the Lord over the desire of his self: in sleep, or in eating, or in sitting with so-and-so or so-and-so, or with the wife, or with others.