The detailed ruling on striking the wife
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Question:
How do you reconcile the saying of Allah the Exalted: [Surat al-Nisa: 34] with the saying of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him): or as he said?
Answer:
There is no contradiction; for the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) intended by this that they should not hasten to strike, and hastening to strike is not among the best of qualities. Rather, striking is the last resort. Striking is to be the last resort, after which comes boycotting, and before that comes admonition.
Therefore, the husband should not resort to striking except in cases of dire necessity, pressing need, and when other means have proven ineffective; for striking may make her more defiant against him, may worsen her character, may cause her separation, and may also provoke her family. Especially in this era, striking causes many problems. The husband should not be hasty, and should not hasten to strike except when there is a pressing need and safety from the consequences, safety from bad outcomes.
If striking her leads to his separation from her, to her family rising against him, and to the occurrence of a major problem; then he should avoid striking, and be patient with any bad character that may occur, until Allah hastens the situation through the means of treatment, which is admonition, reminding, or boycotting. The husband should be wise; for striking entails problems, and it may lead to the opposite of what is desired. The intent is correction, and the intent is that she should reconsider her mistake. If striking leads to the opposite of that, to more evil, to more problems, and to the exacerbation of matters, then it should be left off and not done.
The conclusion: That striking is a dispensation, a dispensation granted by our Lord (Glorified and Exalted is He) for discipline when the need for it arises after the prior steps of admonition and boycotting. It is not among the best to hasten to it, or to rejoice in it, or to make it a permanent treatment. No, rather it is better to delay it and not be hasty; in order to reconcile the texts.
How do you reconcile the saying of Allah the Exalted:
and strike them
وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّIt is not among the best of you the one who strikes his wife
ليس من خياركم من يضرب زوجتهAnswer:
There is no contradiction; for the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) intended by this that they should not hasten to strike, and hastening to strike is not among the best of qualities. Rather, striking is the last resort. Striking is to be the last resort, after which comes boycotting, and before that comes admonition.
Therefore, the husband should not resort to striking except in cases of dire necessity, pressing need, and when other means have proven ineffective; for striking may make her more defiant against him, may worsen her character, may cause her separation, and may also provoke her family. Especially in this era, striking causes many problems. The husband should not be hasty, and should not hasten to strike except when there is a pressing need and safety from the consequences, safety from bad outcomes.
If striking her leads to his separation from her, to her family rising against him, and to the occurrence of a major problem; then he should avoid striking, and be patient with any bad character that may occur, until Allah hastens the situation through the means of treatment, which is admonition, reminding, or boycotting. The husband should be wise; for striking entails problems, and it may lead to the opposite of what is desired. The intent is correction, and the intent is that she should reconsider her mistake. If striking leads to the opposite of that, to more evil, to more problems, and to the exacerbation of matters, then it should be left off and not done.
The conclusion: That striking is a dispensation, a dispensation granted by our Lord (Glorified and Exalted is He) for discipline when the need for it arises after the prior steps of admonition and boycotting. It is not among the best to hasten to it, or to rejoice in it, or to make it a permanent treatment. No, rather it is better to delay it and not be hasty; in order to reconcile the texts.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.