The Ruling on Seeking a Woman's Permission in Marriage

We return at the beginning of this session, Your Eminence the Shaykh, to the letter of our young sister Sabirin from Libya. We presented her questions in a previous session, and in this session she asks and says: Is a woman a place for trade, where fathers are stubborn regarding the costs of marriage?
Answer: In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, and may Allah send blessings and peace upon the Messenger of Allah, upon his family and his Companions, and upon those who follow his guidance.
As for what follows:
There is no doubt that this matter raised by our sister in Allah, Sabirin, is worthy of attention. It is obligatory for fathers to care for the matter of their daughters, to strive to marry them to suitable men, to facilitate the marriage, and not to make it difficult. A woman is not a commodity to be bought and sold, nor is she a place for trade. The intention is to seek a suitable man who is righteous in religion, who will take charge of her and treat her well. If he is suitable for her, he will treat her well and be good to her in his companionship. If he is not suitable for her, he will not wrong her, but rather will be lenient with her.
This is the obligation of fathers and all guardians: to fear Allah regarding women, to strive to seek suitable men, and not to reject a good suitor. They must not force them to marry someone they do not approve of. It is necessary to seek her permission and to take her consent if she is nine years old or older. This is based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in the authentic hadith: In another wording: In another wording: And in another wording: It explicitly mentions the father, and that the father does not have the right to force. He is the father, who is the closest guardian. If the father does not have the right to force, then the rest are even less entitled to do so. This is the preferred opinion. Some scholars held that the father can force a virgin. Some scholars held that the father can force a virgin who has not been married before. This is the weaker opinion.
The correct view is that he does not have the right to force her. Rather, he must please her, advise her, and give her counsel. He does not have the right to force her as long as she is nine years old or older. However, if she is under nine, there is no harm in marrying her without her permission, because he knows what is in her best interest. The evidence for this is that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married Aisha and she did not give permission, because she was a young girl, six or seven years old, as mentioned in the authentic hadith. Abu Bakr the Trustworthy married her off when she was six or seven, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) consummated the marriage when she was nine.
In summary, if she is under nine and he sees it in her interest to marry her, so that a good, suitable suitor is not lost—not for the sake of money, but for the sake of religious benefit—if her guardian, meaning her father, sees that he should marry her while she is under nine, because a suitable, good man of religion and goodness has proposed to her and he fears he will be lost, then there is no harm.
As for the rest of the guardians, they do not have the right to marry her without her permission after she is nine. They do not have the right to marry her while she is young, before she is nine. No, this is specific to the father due to the case of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). As for the rest of the guardians, such as brothers and uncles and the like, they do not have the right to marry the girl until she completes nine years of age and is fit for marriage. Then it is necessary to seek her permission. If she gives permission, otherwise it is not permissible for them to marry her. They must not be stubborn in seeking men of wealth, men of trade, or men of ministerial positions or jobs. No, it is obligatory for them not to reject a suitable suitor, even if he is not among those with positions.
For this reason, it was reported from him (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: And in a wording: In the two Sahihs, it is reported from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: If the man is commanded to seize the one with religion, then so is the guardian of the woman, and so is the woman. They must strive to seize... to seize the one with religion and the one who has religion. She must strive for that and exert effort in that, and say to her guardians that they should seek that. And her guardian must exert effort in that until he seeks a good, suitable man. For the one with religion will benefit her and not harm her, unlike the wicked, for they will harm her and may lead her to their wickedness. The people of intoxicants and the people of corruption, their evil is great. One should be cautious of them so that they do not harm her. As for the one who does not pray, he is not to be married. The one who does not pray is not to be married to a Muslim woman, because leaving off prayer is major shirk (associating partners with Allah)—we ask Allah for safety—from the most correct of the scholars' opinions.
In summary and conclusion: It is obligatory for fathers and guardians to care for suitable men and to strive to marry their daughters to a good man, even if he is poor, even if the mahr (bridal gift) is small. What is required is her chastity and protection, not what is required is abundance of wealth. Allah the Exalted said: [Al-Nur: 32] So wealth comes from Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: And he did not say: "If one with much wealth proposes to you." Rather, he commanded everyone to marry. This is general for men and women. If the young man is commanded to marry, then she is likewise commanded. If a suitable man proposes to her, she must marry. She must hasten, she must be pleased, and she must accept. It is not permissible for her guardians to prevent the marriage for the sake of money and abundance of wealth, or for reasons that have no basis. Yes.
The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.