A man married to two women but he does not treat them equally, so what is your advice to him?
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The questioner : My father is married to two women, and the problem is that my father does not treat his wives equally. One of the wives receives the preference, financial support, and so on, unlike his other wife. So what do you advise us to do, may Allah reward you?
The Shaykh : I offer advice to this husband whom Allah the Exalted has blessed with the ability to marry two women, and I say to him: Justice is obligatory for him in everything he is able to do, such as financial support, sharing nights, and so on. In everything he is able to do, he must treat his wives equally. If he does not do so, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Abi Dawud 2133Sahih (Al-Albani).
However, there are things in which a person cannot be equal, and that is love. A person cannot place love for one person in his heart or hatred for another. But there are factors that cause love or cause hatred. So the man who marries two or more wives must treat them equally in what is possible to be equal in outward treatment: such as sharing nights, financial support, cheerfulness, and the like.
And Allah Mighty and Majestic has permitted a person to marry more than one woman. The verse is:[An-Nisa 4:3] So Allah made it obligatory to limit oneself to one if a person fears that he will not be just, so that he does not fall into sin. As for the husband, I advise him to fear Allah Mighty and Majestic and to treat his wives equally as much as he is able.
As for the wife who is in distress and oppressed, I advise her to be patient and to seek reward from Allah. I tell her that by patience and seeking reward from Allah the Exalted, she will be rewarded for that. And I give her good news that the permanence of a state is impossible, and that with the fear of Allah Mighty and Majestic and patience, perhaps Allah will make her husband turn back and treat her equally with the other wife.
Then I also advise the two co-wives, I advise them to be like sisters and to get along, and that one of them should not transgress against the other by speaking ill of her to her husband, or hinting at her, or the like. And let her know that this is part of her happiness if she remains with a good heart and good thoughts toward her co-wife. It is well known that treating people with kindness is a requirement of the Shari'ah, so how much more so between co-wives, and how much more so between a husband and his wives. And success is from Allah.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : I offer advice to this husband whom Allah the Exalted has blessed with the ability to marry two women, and I say to him: Justice is obligatory for him in everything he is able to do, such as financial support, sharing nights, and so on. In everything he is able to do, he must treat his wives equally. If he does not do so, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.
من كان له امرأتان فمال إلى إحداهما جاء يوم القيامة وشقه مائلHowever, there are things in which a person cannot be equal, and that is love. A person cannot place love for one person in his heart or hatred for another. But there are factors that cause love or cause hatred. So the man who marries two or more wives must treat them equally in what is possible to be equal in outward treatment: such as sharing nights, financial support, cheerfulness, and the like.
And Allah Mighty and Majestic has permitted a person to marry more than one woman. The verse is:
And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلاثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةAs for the wife who is in distress and oppressed, I advise her to be patient and to seek reward from Allah. I tell her that by patience and seeking reward from Allah the Exalted, she will be rewarded for that. And I give her good news that the permanence of a state is impossible, and that with the fear of Allah Mighty and Majestic and patience, perhaps Allah will make her husband turn back and treat her equally with the other wife.
Then I also advise the two co-wives, I advise them to be like sisters and to get along, and that one of them should not transgress against the other by speaking ill of her to her husband, or hinting at her, or the like. And let her know that this is part of her happiness if she remains with a good heart and good thoughts toward her co-wife. It is well known that treating people with kindness is a requirement of the Shari'ah, so how much more so between co-wives, and how much more so between a husband and his wives. And success is from Allah.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.