Dividing time between wives with justice
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Fatwa number ( 7813 )
Q: I married at a young age, without understanding or deliberation, a woman. Despite her sincerity and piety, physically she did not satisfy or please me. After fifteen years, I found what I was seeking, so I married her as well. The first wife bore me many sons; four of them remain alive, may Allah preserve them. The second bore seven, all of whom are present, praise be to Allah. The two wives live in one large house, and the affection between them is unusual, for they are like full sisters, because I strive for justice between them in what I possess. Each sleeps with her sons in separate rooms, while I sleep alone in a separate room. If I am compelled to do so, and after a long period, I usually end up with the last one, and rarely the first, because my heart does not incline toward her no matter how I try. And mostly, even if she is with me, I am unable to perform the act, out of fear of Allah, no matter how I try with her, due to her advanced age and her lack of care for herself. Guide us, may Allah guide you, to what will save me from
the sin in that matter. May Allah guide your steps and prolong your life for the sake of Islam and Muslims.
A: There is no blame on you for what you did if they are both satisfied with it; for the saying of Allah the Exalted:[At-Taghabun 64:16] and the saying of A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her): Bulugh al-Maram 8:104 If they are not satisfied, then it is obligatory for you to spend the night with each one, even if intercourse with her does not become easy for you. You may separate yourself from both of them for two nights out of every four; because justice in dividing the nights is obligatory, whereas love and what follows from it, namely intercourse, is not within the power of a person, but that is up to Allah the Exalted. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Q: I married at a young age, without understanding or deliberation, a woman. Despite her sincerity and piety, physically she did not satisfy or please me. After fifteen years, I found what I was seeking, so I married her as well. The first wife bore me many sons; four of them remain alive, may Allah preserve them. The second bore seven, all of whom are present, praise be to Allah. The two wives live in one large house, and the affection between them is unusual, for they are like full sisters, because I strive for justice between them in what I possess. Each sleeps with her sons in separate rooms, while I sleep alone in a separate room. If I am compelled to do so, and after a long period, I usually end up with the last one, and rarely the first, because my heart does not incline toward her no matter how I try. And mostly, even if she is with me, I am unable to perform the act, out of fear of Allah, no matter how I try with her, due to her advanced age and her lack of care for herself. Guide us, may Allah guide you, to what will save me from
the sin in that matter. May Allah guide your steps and prolong your life for the sake of Islam and Muslims.
A: There is no blame on you for what you did if they are both satisfied with it; for the saying of Allah the Exalted:
So fear Allah as much as you are able
فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُمْAllah's Messenger (ﷺ) used to divide visits to his wives equally and say, "O Allah, this is my division concerning what I possess, so do not blame me concerning what You possess and I do not."
كان رسول الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم- يقسم بين نسائه فيعدل، ثم يقول:، اللهم هذا قسمي فيما أملك فلا تلمني فيما تملك ولا أملك
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.