He says: I am a man married to my cousin’s daughter, and I have five children from her. Some disagreement occurred, but she insisted on asking for a divorce from me, so I tried to convince her.
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The questioner : He says: I am a man married to my cousin’s daughter, and I have five children from her. Some disagreement occurred, but she insisted on asking for a divorce from me, so I tried to convince her to retract this decision, which would not lead to a good outcome. However, she persisted until my anger intensified, and I said to her, “You are divorced, you are forbidden to me, and you are like my mother in this world and the Hereafter.”
The Shaykh : I seek refuge in Allah.
The questioner : After that, the relatives and neighbors intervened and restored the relationship. I regretted it, and she regretted her action, and she returned to her home and her children. Please guide me to what is obligatory for me in this situation. Is my statement to her considered zihar, which requires an expiation, or is it a divorce, or what is it?
The Shaykh : First, we ask about the anger: was it severe anger such that you did not know what you were saying? If so, this statement is considered void, neither a divorce nor zihar, because the speech of one who is angry to the extent that he does not know what he is saying is not considered to be anything. However, if the anger was less than that, such that you were aware of what you said and in control of yourself, then the divorce and zihar have occurred for you, because you likened her to your mother. Likening a man’s wife to his mother is zihar, as Allah the Exalted said:[Al-Mujadila 58:2] And Allah the Exalted said: [Al-Ahzab 33:4] Therefore, it is obligatory for you, if you wish to take her back, not to have intercourse with her until you do what Allah has commanded you to do: you must free a slave if you find one, or if not, fast for two consecutive months before you have intercourse with her. If you are unable to do so, then feed sixty poor people. Yes.
The questioner : And at the same time, does one pronouncement of divorce fall upon him?
The Shaykh : One pronouncement of divorce falls upon him.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : It is added to any previous divorces if he had divorced her before.
The questioner : Yes, meaning if it is the final pronouncement, is it considered a final divorce from him?
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : And does he also owe the expiation for zihar?
The Shaykh : If it is a final divorce from him, she does not return to him except after marrying another husband.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : If she marries another husband with a valid marriage contract, and then the second husband separates from her, and he wants to take her back through marriage, he does not approach her until he expiates.
The questioner : The expiation for zihar?
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The questioner : These are two questions from the questioner, Muhsin Muhammad Abu Zayd, an Egyptian residing in Iraq.
The Shaykh : I seek refuge in Allah.
The questioner : After that, the relatives and neighbors intervened and restored the relationship. I regretted it, and she regretted her action, and she returned to her home and her children. Please guide me to what is obligatory for me in this situation. Is my statement to her considered zihar, which requires an expiation, or is it a divorce, or what is it?
The Shaykh : First, we ask about the anger: was it severe anger such that you did not know what you were saying? If so, this statement is considered void, neither a divorce nor zihar, because the speech of one who is angry to the extent that he does not know what he is saying is not considered to be anything. However, if the anger was less than that, such that you were aware of what you said and in control of yourself, then the divorce and zihar have occurred for you, because you likened her to your mother. Likening a man’s wife to his mother is zihar, as Allah the Exalted said:
they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them
مَا هُنَّ أُمَّهَاتِهِمْ إِنْ أُمَّهَاتُهُمْ إِلَّا اللَّائِي وَلَدْنَهُمْAnd He has not made your wives whom you declare unlawful your mothers.
وَمَا جَعَلَ أَزْوَاجَكُمُ اللَّائِي تُظَاهِرُونَ مِنْهُنَّ أُمَّهَاتِكُمْThe questioner : And at the same time, does one pronouncement of divorce fall upon him?
The Shaykh : One pronouncement of divorce falls upon him.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : It is added to any previous divorces if he had divorced her before.
The questioner : Yes, meaning if it is the final pronouncement, is it considered a final divorce from him?
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : And does he also owe the expiation for zihar?
The Shaykh : If it is a final divorce from him, she does not return to him except after marrying another husband.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : If she marries another husband with a valid marriage contract, and then the second husband separates from her, and he wants to take her back through marriage, he does not approach her until he expiates.
The questioner : The expiation for zihar?
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The questioner : These are two questions from the questioner, Muhsin Muhammad Abu Zayd, an Egyptian residing in Iraq.