What is the sin of one who causes the severing of family ties, such as one who prevents his wife or children from maintaining ties with their relatives?
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The questioner : What is the sin of one who causes the severing of family ties, such as when a husband prevents his wife from maintaining ties with her relatives and kin, or when a father prevents his son or daughter from maintaining ties with their relatives on their mother’s or father’s side, such as their grandparents and maternal uncles?
The Shaykh : The one who orders the severing of family ties is opposed to Allah and His Messenger. Indeed, Allah the Exalted commanded the maintenance of family ties, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged the maintenance of family ties. Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, informed in the Qur'an that severing family ties is among the causes of the curse, as He the Exalted said:[Muhammad 47:22-23] Therefore, the one who orders the severing of family ties is opposed to Allah and His Messenger. He must repent from that and return to Allah, Mighty and Majestic, and he must order what Allah has ordered, which is to maintain ties.
As for the one who is ordered to sever family ties, it is not permissible for him to obey the one who ordered him to do so, because there is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator. So if a man orders his wife to sever her family ties, she is not obligated to agree with him in that, except if this harms him in her life with him, such as if her contact with her relatives, meaning her kin, becomes a cause for enmity to be cast between her and her husband, or for estrangement to be cast between her and her husband, or if her going to them necessitates that she falls into a forbidden matter that occurs in some households. In that case, he has the right to prevent her from that, but not with the intention of severing family ties, rather with the intention of avoiding the harms that occur by her going to them. With this intention, he is not one who orders the severing of family ties which Allah has ordered to be maintained. And we say the same regarding the children.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Those whom their father prevents from going to their relatives, such as maternal uncles and paternal uncles, if the purpose of that is that they do not maintain ties with these people, then there is no doubt that this is forbidden and that it is opposed to Allah and His Messenger. But if his intention is to avoid what might be of mixing with these people, then there is no blame on him in that, because he only intended by that to make things right.
The questioner : His third question says.
The Shaykh : The one who orders the severing of family ties is opposed to Allah and His Messenger. Indeed, Allah the Exalted commanded the maintenance of family ties, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged the maintenance of family ties. Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, informed in the Qur'an that severing family ties is among the causes of the curse, as He the Exalted said:
(22) So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship? (23) Those [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision.
فهل عسيتم إن توليتم أن تفسدوا في الأرض وتقطعوا أرحامكم * أولئك الذين لعنهم الله فأصمهم وأعمى أبصارهمAs for the one who is ordered to sever family ties, it is not permissible for him to obey the one who ordered him to do so, because there is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator. So if a man orders his wife to sever her family ties, she is not obligated to agree with him in that, except if this harms him in her life with him, such as if her contact with her relatives, meaning her kin, becomes a cause for enmity to be cast between her and her husband, or for estrangement to be cast between her and her husband, or if her going to them necessitates that she falls into a forbidden matter that occurs in some households. In that case, he has the right to prevent her from that, but not with the intention of severing family ties, rather with the intention of avoiding the harms that occur by her going to them. With this intention, he is not one who orders the severing of family ties which Allah has ordered to be maintained. And we say the same regarding the children.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Those whom their father prevents from going to their relatives, such as maternal uncles and paternal uncles, if the purpose of that is that they do not maintain ties with these people, then there is no doubt that this is forbidden and that it is opposed to Allah and His Messenger. But if his intention is to avoid what might be of mixing with these people, then there is no blame on him in that, because he only intended by that to make things right.
The questioner : His third question says.