A woman married a man who has children from his deceased wife, and they treat her badly despite her kindness to them, and the husband knows this but does not stop them, so she asked
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The questioner : She says that she married a man who had been married to another woman before her, and she bore him nine children, the eldest of whom is a married daughter. His first wife passed away, and he married her. She was like a mother to the children who were in the house, but she received nothing from her husband and his children except misery and harm, even from her married daughter. The daughter leaves her husband's house without his permission and comes to cause problems and disputes in her father's house with his wife.
The Shaykh : We seek refuge in Allah.
The questioner : All of this happens in the sight and hearing of their father, who does not try to stop them or deter them. On the contrary, he stands with them unjustly. He does not even fulfill his domestic duties or provide for the necessities of the house; rather, she is the one who buys everything the house needs with her own money, until she sold the jewelry she owned, even though this is his duty. If only that had been met with recognition and gratitude, but the exact opposite happened. She asked him for a divorce, and he refused to divorce her. So he neither treats her with kindness nor separates from her with kindness. What is your opinion on this, and what do you advise this husband regarding his wife and his children?
The Shaykh : What we advise this husband and his children is to fear Allah the Mighty and Majestic regarding this woman, if what she says is true. And this man should treat his wife with kindness, as Allah the Exalted said: and as He said: [Al-Baqarah 2:228].
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said:Sunan Ibn Majah 1977Hasan (Darussalam) And the fact that he does not treat her except with this kind of treatment she described is a reprehensible matter, and he is sinful before Allah the Mighty and Majestic because of it. And she will take that from his good deeds on the Day of Resurrection, on a day when he will be in the greatest need for good deeds.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : As for what concerns the wife and what is required of her in this situation, we say that she—so I say that I command her to be patient and to seek reward from Allah, and to admonish her husband with what frightens him and softens his heart. If that does not help, then Allah says:[An-Nisa 4:128] So she should seek to form a group of people of good who will intervene in the matter and reconcile between them, as they see fit, whether by bringing them together or separating them, with compensation or without compensation. Yes.
The questioner : Yes, may Allah reward you with good.
The next question is from listener Shadad al-Rahili from al-Madinah al-Munawwarah.
The Shaykh : We seek refuge in Allah.
The questioner : All of this happens in the sight and hearing of their father, who does not try to stop them or deter them. On the contrary, he stands with them unjustly. He does not even fulfill his domestic duties or provide for the necessities of the house; rather, she is the one who buys everything the house needs with her own money, until she sold the jewelry she owned, even though this is his duty. If only that had been met with recognition and gratitude, but the exact opposite happened. She asked him for a divorce, and he refused to divorce her. So he neither treats her with kindness nor separates from her with kindness. What is your opinion on this, and what do you advise this husband regarding his wife and his children?
The Shaykh : What we advise this husband and his children is to fear Allah the Mighty and Majestic regarding this woman, if what she says is true. And this man should treat his wife with kindness, as Allah the Exalted said:
and live with them in kindness
وعاشروهن بالمعروفAnd due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable
ولهن مثل الذي عليهن بالمعروفThe questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said:
The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.
خيركم خيركم لأهله وأنا خيركم لأهلهThe questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : As for what concerns the wife and what is required of her in this situation, we say that she—so I say that I command her to be patient and to seek reward from Allah, and to admonish her husband with what frightens him and softens his heart. If that does not help, then Allah says:
And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them - and settlement is best
وإن امرأة خافت من بعلها نشوزاً أو إعراضاً فلا جناح عليهما أن يُصلحا بينهما صلحاً والصلح خيرThe questioner : Yes, may Allah reward you with good.
The next question is from listener Shadad al-Rahili from al-Madinah al-Munawwarah.