She told her husband, “You are forbidden to me as a second husband.”
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Fatwa number ( 5839 )
Q: About two weeks ago, one of my Muslim friends called me at work, informing me that he and his family would come to visit my family. At that time, my eldest daughter, who is twelve years old, had just undergone surgery. Consequently, I tried to call my home for more than an hour to notify them of the visit and perform the duty of hospitality, but the phone was busy the entire time. I became angry and frustrated because this is not the first time this has happened. I have previously discussed this bad habit with my wife several times, trying to get her to quit it. I know that she has several female friends who continue to talk to her on the phone daily for long periods, lasting up to an hour. I explained to her that the purpose of having a phone is not for entertainment among them, but for necessity and achieving
the intended goal. When I felt that there was no response to my instructions and that it was a form of defiance—because she brushed aside my words—I broke the phone to get rid of it, thereby eliminating this problem that had become the talk of every day. Yesterday, I was surprised to find that my wife had gone to the market without my permission and bought another phone. When I returned home, my younger daughter (five years old) informed me of this. I lost my temper, and the argument between me and my wife intensified again. Therefore, in the end, the wife said, word for word: “I am fed up with living with you. By Allah, He will take revenge on my father because he is the cause of my tribulation. You are forbidden to me as a second husband. I am asking you for a divorce, and if you are a man, divorce me” ... and so on. Naturally, my dignity as a man and head of the family, in the presence of her brother and my daughters, put me at the peak of anger, especially since she raised her voice so that the neighbors could hear the conversation between us. She demanded that I must give up the phone to a family living nearby, and she tried to involve other parties in the problem. All I could do was leave the house to prevent the situation from escalating. However, I feel, with full conviction and satisfaction, that the best way to get rid of this troublesome, stubborn wife is divorce; because this
problem has become continuous and is constantly increasing. I feel regret that I did not make this decision long ago, before the number of children doubled. But my motto was always that perhaps Allah would guide her one day. But unfortunately, there is no progress; rather, every day is worse than the last in stubbornness and defiance. If I speak two words of constructive criticism, the response is dozens of words mixing the current issue with any other talk. For example, if we go out together and I sit in the car and ask her to cover her face, she objects, saying: “I am more honorable than any woman who covers her face.” If I try to convince her that these are the teachings and spirit of Islam, she puts the veil on her face in only one layer, claiming that the weather is hot and she cannot breathe. Whenever I order her to pray, she argues with me, saying: “The essence is the purity of the heart, not prayer without acting upon it,” claiming that I pray but I am unjust and harsh, and I do not act upon this prayer. Knowing that I do not have another wife, what is the ruling of the religion and the Shari'ah regarding her statement to me: “You are forbidden to me as a second husband,” and her request for divorce, saying: “If you are a man, divorce me”? Knowing that she threw her younger daughter (five months old) on the ground, saying: “Take your children and do what you want with them.” And of course, I said to her: “I am ready to divorce her and marry someone better than her in religion, character, and obedience, otherwise I will not be a man.”
A: If the situation is as described, your wife is not forbidden to you by her saying to you: “You are forbidden to me as a husband,” nor by her requesting divorce by saying to you: “If you are a man, divorce me.” However, she is obligated to pay the expiation for an oath (kaffarah) for the act of declaring you forbidden. Likewise, no divorce falls on you by your saying to her: “I am ready to divorce her and marry someone better than her in religion, character, and obedience, otherwise I will not be a man.” You must continue to advise her in a good manner, and you must broaden your chest and be patient with the harm. She must respond to your advice and your command to her to do what is right, so that she performs the prayer at its time and protects herself with the hijab. Each of you must fulfill the rights of the other as prescribed by the Shari'ah, and the rights of the family and the commitment to good conduct. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Q: About two weeks ago, one of my Muslim friends called me at work, informing me that he and his family would come to visit my family. At that time, my eldest daughter, who is twelve years old, had just undergone surgery. Consequently, I tried to call my home for more than an hour to notify them of the visit and perform the duty of hospitality, but the phone was busy the entire time. I became angry and frustrated because this is not the first time this has happened. I have previously discussed this bad habit with my wife several times, trying to get her to quit it. I know that she has several female friends who continue to talk to her on the phone daily for long periods, lasting up to an hour. I explained to her that the purpose of having a phone is not for entertainment among them, but for necessity and achieving
the intended goal. When I felt that there was no response to my instructions and that it was a form of defiance—because she brushed aside my words—I broke the phone to get rid of it, thereby eliminating this problem that had become the talk of every day. Yesterday, I was surprised to find that my wife had gone to the market without my permission and bought another phone. When I returned home, my younger daughter (five years old) informed me of this. I lost my temper, and the argument between me and my wife intensified again. Therefore, in the end, the wife said, word for word: “I am fed up with living with you. By Allah, He will take revenge on my father because he is the cause of my tribulation. You are forbidden to me as a second husband. I am asking you for a divorce, and if you are a man, divorce me” ... and so on. Naturally, my dignity as a man and head of the family, in the presence of her brother and my daughters, put me at the peak of anger, especially since she raised her voice so that the neighbors could hear the conversation between us. She demanded that I must give up the phone to a family living nearby, and she tried to involve other parties in the problem. All I could do was leave the house to prevent the situation from escalating. However, I feel, with full conviction and satisfaction, that the best way to get rid of this troublesome, stubborn wife is divorce; because this
problem has become continuous and is constantly increasing. I feel regret that I did not make this decision long ago, before the number of children doubled. But my motto was always that perhaps Allah would guide her one day. But unfortunately, there is no progress; rather, every day is worse than the last in stubbornness and defiance. If I speak two words of constructive criticism, the response is dozens of words mixing the current issue with any other talk. For example, if we go out together and I sit in the car and ask her to cover her face, she objects, saying: “I am more honorable than any woman who covers her face.” If I try to convince her that these are the teachings and spirit of Islam, she puts the veil on her face in only one layer, claiming that the weather is hot and she cannot breathe. Whenever I order her to pray, she argues with me, saying: “The essence is the purity of the heart, not prayer without acting upon it,” claiming that I pray but I am unjust and harsh, and I do not act upon this prayer. Knowing that I do not have another wife, what is the ruling of the religion and the Shari'ah regarding her statement to me: “You are forbidden to me as a second husband,” and her request for divorce, saying: “If you are a man, divorce me”? Knowing that she threw her younger daughter (five months old) on the ground, saying: “Take your children and do what you want with them.” And of course, I said to her: “I am ready to divorce her and marry someone better than her in religion, character, and obedience, otherwise I will not be a man.”
A: If the situation is as described, your wife is not forbidden to you by her saying to you: “You are forbidden to me as a husband,” nor by her requesting divorce by saying to you: “If you are a man, divorce me.” However, she is obligated to pay the expiation for an oath (kaffarah) for the act of declaring you forbidden. Likewise, no divorce falls on you by your saying to her: “I am ready to divorce her and marry someone better than her in religion, character, and obedience, otherwise I will not be a man.” You must continue to advise her in a good manner, and you must broaden your chest and be patient with the harm. She must respond to your advice and your command to her to do what is right, so that she performs the prayer at its time and protects herself with the hijab. Each of you must fulfill the rights of the other as prescribed by the Shari'ah, and the rights of the family and the commitment to good conduct. And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.