I had a friend who passed away, so I swore that I would not enter his family's house. After they insisted on me, I went to them once. Do I have to pay an expiation, and is it permissible?
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The questioner : I had a dear friend, but he passed away to the mercy of Allah the Exalted. After he died, may Allah have mercy on him, I made a pledge to myself not to go to his family's house and I swore to it. However, after his family insisted, I found myself compelled to go to them once. After that, I decided never to go again. Do I have to pay an expiation for what I did? And is it permissible for me to go to them? Please advise us, may Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : The answer includes a word in his question that I would like to point out, which is his saying: "he passed away to the mercy of Allah." This phrase has two aspects. The first aspect is that one is certain that this man has passed to the mercy of Allah. The second aspect is that one hopes that this man has passed to the mercy of Allah. As for the first, it is not permissible for us to be certain that anyone is in Paradise or in the Fire, except for those whom the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) testified to, as the people of the Sunnah established in their creed. They said: We do not testify that anyone is in Paradise or in the Fire, except for those whom the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) testified to. But we hope for the doer of good and fear for the doer of evil.
As for when a person hopes that this man has passed to the mercy of Allah, then hope is a broad door and there is no blame on him for that. Similarly, their saying: "So-and-so, may Allah have mercy on him." If it is a statement of fact, it is a testimony and is not permissible. But if it is a supplication and hope, there is nothing wrong with it. Similarly, their saying: "So-and-so, the one who is forgiven" or "the one who is mercifully remembered." If it is a statement of fact, it is not permissible, because you do not know and do not testify to it. But if it is hope and supplication, there is nothing wrong with it.
As for the answer to his question, which is that he made a pledge to himself and swore not to go to the family of this friend, and after they insisted, he went to them once and then stopped going, then in this case he must expiate his oath by feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, or freeing a slave. If he does not find the means to do so, he must fast three consecutive days. Except if he coupled his oath with the will of Allah and said: "By Allah, if Allah wills." In that case, he does not break his oath and there is no expiation on him. And in that case, he goes to the family of this deceased person, and the first expiation is sufficient for him.
The Shaykh : The answer includes a word in his question that I would like to point out, which is his saying: "he passed away to the mercy of Allah." This phrase has two aspects. The first aspect is that one is certain that this man has passed to the mercy of Allah. The second aspect is that one hopes that this man has passed to the mercy of Allah. As for the first, it is not permissible for us to be certain that anyone is in Paradise or in the Fire, except for those whom the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) testified to, as the people of the Sunnah established in their creed. They said: We do not testify that anyone is in Paradise or in the Fire, except for those whom the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) testified to. But we hope for the doer of good and fear for the doer of evil.
As for when a person hopes that this man has passed to the mercy of Allah, then hope is a broad door and there is no blame on him for that. Similarly, their saying: "So-and-so, may Allah have mercy on him." If it is a statement of fact, it is a testimony and is not permissible. But if it is a supplication and hope, there is nothing wrong with it. Similarly, their saying: "So-and-so, the one who is forgiven" or "the one who is mercifully remembered." If it is a statement of fact, it is not permissible, because you do not know and do not testify to it. But if it is hope and supplication, there is nothing wrong with it.
As for the answer to his question, which is that he made a pledge to himself and swore not to go to the family of this friend, and after they insisted, he went to them once and then stopped going, then in this case he must expiate his oath by feeding ten poor people, or clothing them, or freeing a slave. If he does not find the means to do so, he must fast three consecutive days. Except if he coupled his oath with the will of Allah and said: "By Allah, if Allah wills." In that case, he does not break his oath and there is no expiation on him. And in that case, he goes to the family of this deceased person, and the first expiation is sufficient for him.