I swore to my wife that if she goes to so-and-so's house, she will be forbidden to me like my sister, and she went and said that I had forgotten. What is the ruling in this case?
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The questioner : I swore to my wife that if she goes to so-and-so's house, she will be forbidden to me like my sister. The listener says she went and told me that I had forgotten. What is the ruling in this case? Please advise us, may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : First, we advise you against uttering these words, because they are very serious. If a man says to his wife, "You are to me like my mother's back" or "like my sister's back" or the like, he has committed zihar. Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) clarified the ruling on zihar in His Book, saying:[Al-Mujadila 58:2] He clarified that the expiation for zihar is freeing a slave. If he does not find one, then fasting for two consecutive months. If he is unable to do that, then feeding sixty poor people. Moreover, it is not permissible for him to approach his wife until he makes expiation: by freeing a slave if he is able, by fasting for two consecutive months if he is unable to free a slave, and by feeding sixty poor people if he is unable to fast for the two months. The matter in this is serious.
As for your question, if your wife was forgetful, then there is no breach of oath on your part, meaning you do not owe an expiation. This is because the stronger position is that if someone causes another to breach an oath while that person is forgetful, then that other person does not breach the oath. Similarly, if the one who swore does the thing he swore about while forgetful, he does not owe an expiation. Yes.
The questioner : In the question of the second listener, the listener H.A.M. from Makkah says.
The Shaykh : First, we advise you against uttering these words, because they are very serious. If a man says to his wife, "You are to me like my mother's back" or "like my sister's back" or the like, he has committed zihar. Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) clarified the ruling on zihar in His Book, saying:
Those who pronounce thihar among you [to separate] from their wives - they are not [consequently] their mothers. Their mothers are none but those who gave birth to them. And indeed, they are saying an objectionable statement and a falsehood. But indeed, Allah is Pardoning and Forgiving.
الَّذِينَ يُظَاهِرُونَ مِنْكُمْ مِنْ نِسَائِهِمْ مَا هُنَّ أُمَّهَاتِهِمْ إِنْ أُمَّهَاتُهُمْ إِلَّا اللَّائِي وَلَدْنَهُمْ وَإِنَّهُمْ لَيَقُولُونَ مُنْكَرًا مِنَ الْقَوْلِ وَزُورًا وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَعَفُوٌّ غَفُورٌAs for your question, if your wife was forgetful, then there is no breach of oath on your part, meaning you do not owe an expiation. This is because the stronger position is that if someone causes another to breach an oath while that person is forgetful, then that other person does not breach the oath. Similarly, if the one who swore does the thing he swore about while forgetful, he does not owe an expiation. Yes.
The questioner : In the question of the second listener, the listener H.A.M. from Makkah says.