Advising One’s Parents
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Question: Allah has commanded His believing servants to enjoin good and forbid evil. Is advising one’s parents, if one of them falls into an error, considered undutifulness to them? Please answer us with this, may Allah bless you?
Answer: Yes, Allah the Exalted has commanded enjoining good and forbidding evil, according to one’s ability,He (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih Muslim 49a ،And in a narration:Sahih Muslim 50a , and the parents and others are equal in this regard. It is obligatory to rebuke them if they do any of the sins, and to advise them. This is among the best forms of dutifulness. This is not undutifulness as the questioner imagines, but rather it is dutifulness, because you want their salvation and deliverance from the Fire. And you hear what Allah - Mighty and Majestic - mentioned regarding Ibrahim al-Khalil,That he began by advising his father: [Maryam: 42 - 45] .
So this Ibrahim al-Khalil (peace and blessings be upon him) began by advising his father and calling him to Allah the Exalted, and striving for his deliverance from the Fire. This indicates that advising fathers and parents is among the most emphatic obligations, and that one should begin with them before others. This is dutifulness and among the greatest forms of dutifulness to them. However, it must be done with wisdom, good admonition, gentle speech, and a good manner, and one must be extremely gentle with them, so that perhaps Allah the Exalted will guide them.
Answer: Yes, Allah the Exalted has commanded enjoining good and forbidding evil, according to one’s ability,He (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
He who amongst you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do it, then he should do it with his tongue, and if he has not strength enough to do it, (even) then he should (abhor it) from his heart, and that is the least of faith.
من رأى منكم منكرًا فليغيره بيده، فإن لم يستطع فبلسانه، فإن لم يستطع فبقلبه وذلك أضعف الإيمانand beyond that there is no faith even to the extent of a mustard seed
وليس وراء ذلك من الإيمان حبة خردل(42) [Mention] when he said to his father, "O my father, why do you worship that which does not hear and does not see and will not benefit you at all? (43) O my father, indeed there has come to me of knowledge that which has not come to you, so follow me; I will guide you to an even path. (44) O my father, do not worship Satan. Indeed Satan has ever been, to the Most Merciful, disobedient. (45) O my father, indeed I fear that there will touch you a punishment from the Most Merciful so you would be to Satan a companion [in Hellfire]."
إِذْ قَالَ لِأَبِيهِ يَاأَبَتِ لِمَ تَعْبُدُ مَا لَا يَسْمَعُ وَلَا يُبْصِرُ وَلَا يُغْنِي عَنْكَ شَيْئًا يَاأَبَتِ إِنِّي قَدْ جَاءَنِي مِنَ الْعِلْمِ مَا لَمْ يَأْتِكَ فَاتَّبِعْنِي أَهْدِكَ صِرَاطًا سَوِيًّا يَاأَبَتِ لَا تَعْبُدِ الشَّيْطَانَ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ كَانَ لِلرَّحْمَنِ عَصِيًّا يَاأَبَتِ إِنِّي أَخَافُ أَنْ يَمَسَّكَ عَذَابٌ مِنَ الرَّحْمَنِ فَتَكُونَ لِلشَّيْطَانِ وَلِيًّاSo this Ibrahim al-Khalil (peace and blessings be upon him) began by advising his father and calling him to Allah the Exalted, and striving for his deliverance from the Fire. This indicates that advising fathers and parents is among the most emphatic obligations, and that one should begin with them before others. This is dutifulness and among the greatest forms of dutifulness to them. However, it must be done with wisdom, good admonition, gentle speech, and a good manner, and one must be extremely gentle with them, so that perhaps Allah the Exalted will guide them.