What is mentioned in the Book and the Sunnah regarding the virtue of dutifulness to parents
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I ask your Eminence to discuss the topic of dutifulness to parents, for we observe that many children are undutiful to their parents, and perhaps they prevent their own children from visiting their grandparents. A father prevents his daughter from visiting her grandmother, that is, from visiting her mother, and the reason for the prevention is a disagreement between the grandmother and her son. I ask for detail on this topic, and specifically on dutifulness to parents. May Allah reward you with good?
Answer: There is no doubt that dutifulness to parents is among the most important obligations and the greatest of duties. Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, mentioned this in many places in His great Book, such as His saying, Glorified is He: [Al-Isra: 24], and such as His saying, Glorified is He: [An-Nisa: 36], and such as His saying, (Exalted and Majestic is He): [Luqman: 14], in many verses that contain exhortation to dutifulness to parents and command to do so.
And it is authentic from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) what indicates this meaning as well. He was asked, (peace and blessings be upon him), and it was said:Riyad as-Salihin 1286, and in the two Sahihs from Abu Bakrah al-Thaqafi (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: Sahih al-Bukhari 5976.
So he, (peace and blessings be upon him), made clear that among the greatest of major sins is undutifulness to parents; so dutifulness to them is among the most important duties and the greatest of obligations, and undutifulness to them is among the ugliest of major sins and evil deeds.
And in the other hadith:Bulugh al-Maram 16:21, so it is obligatory for every Muslim and every Muslim woman to be dutiful to their parents, to be kind to them, to be gentle with them, and to have proper conduct with them in speech and action. Among this is spending on them if they are poor and he is able to spend. Among this is addressing them in the best manner with kind words and good style, and lowering the voice, and not raising the voice at them. Among this is listening and obeying them in what is right, if they order him to do something that does not contradict the Shari'ah of Allah and he is able to do it and it does not harm him, he obeys them with kind words and good actions.
And among this is that he does not hold back his children from visiting their parents. If the father or mother desires to visit their children, they should visit them. He should enable his children to visit their parents, so he has no right to prevent his children, whether male or female, from visiting their mother or father, except if there is harm, because the father orders them to commit sins, he orders his children to commit sins against Allah, or the mother does this; then he has the right to prevent that, because obedience to Allah takes precedence. But if there is no harm in their visiting, and the father is kind to them and the mother likewise, and no sin against Allah results from the visit, then he has no right to prevent his children from visiting their parents. Rather, this is part of dutifulness to them, to enable his children to visit them, feel at ease with them, and enjoy being with them.
The point is: that among dutifulness to parents is allowing your children to visit them so that they may enjoy your children and be with them and feel at ease with them, and perhaps many benefits will result from that. But if the parents order your children to commit sins against Allah, or if there is harm to the children from them by beating or otherwise without cause, then you may prevent it, by the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sunan Ibn Majah 2340Da'if (Darussalam). But to prevent your children from your parents without right and without reason, this is not permissible. And Allah is the Helper. Yes.
The presenter: Allah is the One to be sought for help, may Allah reward you with good.
Answer: There is no doubt that dutifulness to parents is among the most important obligations and the greatest of duties. Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, mentioned this in many places in His great Book, such as His saying, Glorified is He:
(23) And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (24) And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًاWorship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good
وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًاBe grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.
أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُAnd it is authentic from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) what indicates this meaning as well. He was asked, (peace and blessings be upon him), and it was said:
I asked the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ): "Which action is dearest to Allah?" He (ﷺ) replied, "Performing As-Salat (the prayer) at its earliest fixed time." I asked, "What is next (in goodness)?" He (ﷺ) said, "Kindness towards parents." I asked, "What is next (in goodness)?" He (ﷺ) said, "To participate in Jihad in the Cause of Allah."
يا رسول الله! أي العمل أفضل؟ قال: الصلاة على وقتها. قيل: ثم أي؟ قال: بر الوالدين. قيل: ثم أي؟ قال: الجهاد في سبيل اللهAllah's Messenger (ﷺ) said thrice, "Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the great sins?" We said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)" He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah: to be undutiful to one's parents." The Prophet (ﷺ) sat up after he had been reclining and added, "And I warn you against giving forged statement and a false witness; I warn you against giving a forged
ألا أنبئكم بأكبر الكبائر -كررها ثلاثاً- قالوا: بلى يا رسول الله! قال: الإشراك بالله، وعقوق الوالدين، وكان متكئاً فجلس، فقال: ألا وقول الزور ألا وشهادة الزورSo he, (peace and blessings be upon him), made clear that among the greatest of major sins is undutifulness to parents; so dutifulness to them is among the most important duties and the greatest of obligations, and undutifulness to them is among the ugliest of major sins and evil deeds.
And in the other hadith:
Allah’s pleasure results from the parent’s pleasure, and Allah’s displeasure results from the parent’s displeasure.
رضا الله في رضا الوالدين وسخط الله في سخط الوالدينAnd among this is that he does not hold back his children from visiting their parents. If the father or mother desires to visit their children, they should visit them. He should enable his children to visit their parents, so he has no right to prevent his children, whether male or female, from visiting their mother or father, except if there is harm, because the father orders them to commit sins, he orders his children to commit sins against Allah, or the mother does this; then he has the right to prevent that, because obedience to Allah takes precedence. But if there is no harm in their visiting, and the father is kind to them and the mother likewise, and no sin against Allah results from the visit, then he has no right to prevent his children from visiting their parents. Rather, this is part of dutifulness to them, to enable his children to visit them, feel at ease with them, and enjoy being with them.
The point is: that among dutifulness to parents is allowing your children to visit them so that they may enjoy your children and be with them and feel at ease with them, and perhaps many benefits will result from that. But if the parents order your children to commit sins against Allah, or if there is harm to the children from them by beating or otherwise without cause, then you may prevent it, by the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
It was narrated from 'Ubadah bin Samit that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) ruled: “There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.”
لا ضرر ولا ضرارThe presenter: Allah is the One to be sought for help, may Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.