The Meaning of the Hadith: "Do Not Repel the Hand of the Toucher"

The Shaykh : Before we proceed; what is the meaning of "Do Not Repel the Hand of the Toucher"?
Because many scholars, both past and present, imagine that the meaning of this phrase is that she is willing to any one who desires her. This is not the case, because if that were so, it would not be permissible for the Messenger to say to him: . Far be it from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) to command a jealous husband who sees a sin in his wife to say to him: because you love her. So what is the meaning of "Do Not Repel the Hand of the Toucher"? The touch here is in its literal sense. The touch here is not like what He, the Exalted, said: meaning: intercourse. So the touch here is in its literal sense. The touch is like this or like this, meaning groping. And many women, even today, are seen in some villages that, first, still live on an old fitrah (innate natural disposition), and second, have no one to guide and teach the rulings of the Shari'ah. And among the ugliness of that is that there is some free mixing of men and women, and of young men and young women, ... like this. So they stand, for example, beside the house, the neighbor with his female neighbor, a young man and a young woman, and they talk. These conversations may originally be innocent talk of farmers, like "Where did your father go? Where did he come from? What did you do with the harvest?" and so on. But , here Satan enters the heart of that young man. So he talks to the girl; then he gropes her, saying to her, for example: "Yes, let's go, yes, let's go..."

The questioner : How is your father, Shaykh?

The Shaykh : Oh?

The questioner : How is your father?

The Shaykh : Ah , this is the touch. It does not mean here a euphemism for sin and intercourse; no. And without doubt, this is something that every jealous husband would condemn. And this is what prompted the man to complain of his situation to the Messenger; so he said to him: - be at ease from her - . He said: O Messenger of Allah, I love her. He said: .
So the matter revolved around realizing a benefit and what? Removing a harm. The ultimate harm here is that if he divorces her, it is feared that his heart will remain attached to her, and she becomes what? A stranger to him after he divorces her. Therefore, the position of the Messenger (peace be upon him) here was at the height of wisdom. He clarified the Shari'ah ruling to him first, saying to him: and be at ease from her. When the Prophet was surprised by his saying: "I love her"; he directed him to the lesser of the two harms and the less evil of the two harms; so he said to him: Then . So when a man comes to us today and relates to us a story like the story of Ibn 'Umar with his father, I answer him with two answers; one is conditional on the impossible, and the other is "I do not know what you should do." I detail the matter for him as will follow. As for the first matter, which is related to the impossible, I say to him: If your father is in his knowledge of Islam and his adherence to the rulings like 'Umar, then you must divorce her. Yes, you must divorce her.

The questioner : This is the miraculous nature, O Shaykh.

The Shaykh. As for the detail, I say: By Allah, my brother, there is a problem in both matters; as I explained earlier regarding the man to whom he, peace be upon him, said: . Then he said to him: . So I fear that if I tell you: "Divorce her," you may have obeyed in one respect, but I fear for you that you will fall into a greater prohibition; which is that your soul will go with this woman whom you divorced, and you will fall into a greater problem, especially since our time today is like that time.

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : There is no longer that taqwa (mindfulness of Allah) and wara' (scrupulousness). And I fear that if I tell you "Do not divorce her," then I am as if I am telling you "Disobey your father."

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : And therefore, I am now narrating to you the following hadith: A man came to Abu al-Darda' and said to him - like this question -: "My mother orders me to divorce my wife; what should I do?" He said to him: "I do not command you to divorce her nor to keep her, but I tell you what I heard from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saying: The hadith ends. If you wish, divorce her, and if you wish, keep her." And the whole matter means ... avoiding it. Why? So that he does not involve himself in such a fatwa (scholarly legal ruling) where one's foot may slip. One's foot may slip. So I am telling you: ; meaning his obedience leads you to what? To Paradise. If you wish, divorce her, and if you wish, keep her.

The questioner : Meaning, consult your heart, O Shaykh.

The Shaykh: Yes.

The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.