I have an aunt, and if I do not give her money, she gets angry with me, especially when I visit her; so what should I do in this situation?

The questioner : ... And he says: I have an aunt, and if I do not give her money, she gets upset and angry with me. If I go for any visit, whether during a festival or not, I have to give her a lot of money. He said: In the last festival, I gave her ten dinars. She returned it, got upset, and said: I am angry with you, and this is not enough, and I don't know what, you must give me more. So he asks: Does that mean it is obligatory for me to consider myself as having maintained the tie if I gave her what she wants, or should I stop giving her money and just maintain the tie through visiting, while my brothers and children are in greater need of this money than she is?

The Shaykh : It is difficult to answer this; because we must know the financial situation of this person; can he honor her or not? If he can, then it is his obligation. What is the benefit if he visits her but does not honor her materially? And the statement that "my children are in greater need" might be accepted if his income is very limited; meaning that he either has to give to his aunt or he has to spend on his children.

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : No; the close relatives are more entitled to kindness. But I do not imagine the matter is this narrow.

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : So the one asking this question, it appears he does not have a sum of hundreds, let us not say thousands, placed somewhere in his house?

The questioner : Yes, you may.

The Shaykh : So it is far-fetched to imagine that scenario; and therefore, in my experience over these years, and perhaps you remember well, it is not permissible for the one seeking a ruling to stop at the words and question of the questioner and give the answer within the limits of what? His question.

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : Because we have experienced that many ofThe questioner : them seem to frame the question in a way that they get the answer that suits them; and therefore, the one seeking a ruling should not be naive; he must scrutinize it a bit with him, like this issue, and by Allah, my children are more entitled? Your children are more entitled, yes, this statement is correct and there is no rebuttal to it, but do you think you have no choice but to give to your aunt or give to your children? I do not think it will be that narrow. When it is like that, yes, your children are more entitled, but I do not think so.

The questioner : Do you condition him that he must give her a specific amount?

The Shaykh : No, there is no such condition; but notice what the question was? That he should be content with visiting her and not give her money, because the children are more entitled.

The questioner : Because in the original question, he tells you he gave her ten dinars.

Another questioner : She returned it, she returned the ten dinars, and she says: she wants more than this.

The Shaykh : No, it is not supposed to be...

The questioner : The question at the beginning was clear.

Another questioner : Yes, and he... regarding the visit, for example, or he visits her...

The questioner : He had a reaction, a reaction to his aunt's action?

Another questioner : ... that he gave her ten dinars and she wants more.

The questioner : No, O Shaykh, we know, O Shaykh, let us leave it.

The Shaykh : In any case, honoring the aunt, there is a sound hadith: , so it is obligatory for her nephew to honor her with everything he is able to do, and it is not good to divide it to this extent that he gives her or gives his children; he gives her and gives his children, combining both excellences. And by Allah, I cannot... but is it true that he cannot do either these or her?