The Ruling on Tribalism and the Ruling on Forcing a Son to Divorce His Wife
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Your Eminence! You know what is happening in society regarding the issue of tribalism (this is my tribesman, and this is not my tribesman) A man married a woman from outside his tribe, so his father became angry with him,And he said: saying, "Divorce her, or the relationship between us will be cut off." What is your opinion?
First: I advise Muslims in such matters, because Allah the Exalted removed from us, through the message of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), the upbringing of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, and He forbade us from tribalism. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade anyone from oppressing another, and all people are from Adam, and Adam was created from dust. No one has superiority over another except through mindfulness of Allah,Allah the Exalted said: [Surah al-Hujurat: 13] But there is no doubt that lineages differ; some are high, some are lower, and some have no known lineage among the Arabs. This is what people call the Nabati, the Khudhairi, or similar terms. All of this has been abolished by Islam,Allah the Exalted said: [Surah al-Hujurat: 10] Therefore, it came in the hadith from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "When there comes to you a person whose religion and character you are pleased with, marry him. He did not mention lineage. Unless you do so, there will be a fitnah (trial, discord or temptation) on earth and great corruption."
So if this woman has pleased the man in her religion and character—and this is the direct answer to your question—he should hold on to her. Even if his father orders him to divorce her, he should not listen to him or obey him. He should not consider his disobedience in this matter to be undutifulness to parents. Rather, it is the father who has cut off the family tie,If he says: saying, "If you keep her, I will cut off my relationship with you." He is the one who cut off the family tie.And Allah the Exalted said: [Surah Muhammad: 22-23] There is no doubt that attempting to separate a man from his wife is corruption on earth. For this reason, Allah made that the work of sorcerers,He said: [Surah al-Baqarah: 102] and sorcerers are corrupters,As Moses (peace be upon him) said: [Surah Yunus: 81] so He made sorcerers among the corrupters.
And the greatest of their sorcery is separating a man from his family. So this father who tries to separate his son from his wife, his action is of the same kind as the action of sorcerers. It is corruption on earth. So this father who orders his son to divorce his wife, or else he will cut him off, is among those who cut off the family tie and corrupt on earth.It falls under the verse: [Surah Muhammad: 22-23]
And now I direct my advice to the son and say: Stick to your wife as long as she has pleased you in her religion and character.And another piece of advice to the father, and I say: Fear Allah in yourself, and do not separate your son from his family, for you will fall into corruption on earth, and also into cutting off the family tie.And we say to the son: Proceed with what you are doing. It does not matter whether your father is pleased or not, and it does not matter whether he cuts you off or maintains the relationship with you. But if it is decreed that he carries out his threat and cuts you off, then you should go to him and try to reconcile him. If he refuses, then the sin is upon him alone.
Some people might say: "If 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) ordered his son to divorce his wife, he divorced her by the order of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). And I am ordering my son, so let him divorce his wife."We say: This issue was asked about Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him). A man came to him and said, "My father is ordering me to divorce my wife."So he said to him: "Even if he orders you, do not divorce her."And I think Imam Ahmad asked him: "Is he desirous of her or not?"So when he informed him that he was desirous of her, he said: "Do not divorce her."He said: "Has not 'Umar ordered his son to divorce his wife, and he did so?"He said: "Is your father 'Umar? 'Umar did not order his son to divorce his wife merely out of whim or tribalism, but for a matter he saw to be in the public benefit."
And in summary: The son has the right to keep his wife as long as she has pleased him in religion and character, whether his mother or father is pleased or not.
First: I advise Muslims in such matters, because Allah the Exalted removed from us, through the message of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), the upbringing of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, and He forbade us from tribalism. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade anyone from oppressing another, and all people are from Adam, and Adam was created from dust. No one has superiority over another except through mindfulness of Allah,Allah the Exalted said:
Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you
إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْThe believers are but brothers
إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌSo if this woman has pleased the man in her religion and character—and this is the direct answer to your question—he should hold on to her. Even if his father orders him to divorce her, he should not listen to him or obey him. He should not consider his disobedience in this matter to be undutifulness to parents. Rather, it is the father who has cut off the family tie,If he says: saying, "If you keep her, I will cut off my relationship with you." He is the one who cut off the family tie.And Allah the Exalted said:
(22) So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship? (23) Those [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision.
فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِنْ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَنْ تُفْسِدُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ * أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ اللَّهُ فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَى أَبْصَارَهُمْAnd [yet] they learn from them that by which they cause separation between a man and his wife
فَيَتَعَلَّمُونَ مِنْهُمَا مَا يُفَرِّقُونَ بِهِ بَيْنَ الْمَرْءِ وَزَوْجِهِWhat you have brought is [only] magic. Indeed, Allah will expose its worthlessness. Indeed, Allah does not amend the work of corrupters.
مَا جِئْتُمْ بِهِ السِّحْرُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَيُبْطِلُهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لا يُصْلِحُ عَمَلَ الْمُفْسِدِينَAnd the greatest of their sorcery is separating a man from his family. So this father who tries to separate his son from his wife, his action is of the same kind as the action of sorcerers. It is corruption on earth. So this father who orders his son to divorce his wife, or else he will cut him off, is among those who cut off the family tie and corrupt on earth.It falls under the verse:
(22) So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship? (23) Those [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision.
فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِنْ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَنْ تُفْسِدُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ * أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ اللَّهُ فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَى أَبْصَارَهُمْAnd now I direct my advice to the son and say: Stick to your wife as long as she has pleased you in her religion and character.And another piece of advice to the father, and I say: Fear Allah in yourself, and do not separate your son from his family, for you will fall into corruption on earth, and also into cutting off the family tie.And we say to the son: Proceed with what you are doing. It does not matter whether your father is pleased or not, and it does not matter whether he cuts you off or maintains the relationship with you. But if it is decreed that he carries out his threat and cuts you off, then you should go to him and try to reconcile him. If he refuses, then the sin is upon him alone.
Some people might say: "If 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) ordered his son to divorce his wife, he divorced her by the order of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). And I am ordering my son, so let him divorce his wife."We say: This issue was asked about Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him). A man came to him and said, "My father is ordering me to divorce my wife."So he said to him: "Even if he orders you, do not divorce her."And I think Imam Ahmad asked him: "Is he desirous of her or not?"So when he informed him that he was desirous of her, he said: "Do not divorce her."He said: "Has not 'Umar ordered his son to divorce his wife, and he did so?"He said: "Is your father 'Umar? 'Umar did not order his son to divorce his wife merely out of whim or tribalism, but for a matter he saw to be in the public benefit."
And in summary: The son has the right to keep his wife as long as she has pleased him in religion and character, whether his mother or father is pleased or not.