What is the ruling on a man who divorces his wife to please his father because the father was angry that he married a woman from a different tribe?
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The questioner : His EminenceThe Shaykh : Do you know what happens in society regarding the issue of tribal loyalty? This one is from my tribe, and that one is not. A man married a woman from a different tribe, so his father got angry at him and said, "Divorce her, or the relationship between us will be cut off." What is your opinion?
The Shaykh : First, I advise Muslims to avoid such matters, because Allah the Exalted removed from us, through the message of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), the tribalism of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance. He forbade us from being fanatical, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade anyone from oppressing anyone else. All people are from Adam, and Adam was created from dust. No one has superiority over another except through mindfulness of Allah,[Al-Hujurat 49:13].
However, there is no doubt that lineages differ; some are high, some are lower, and some have no known lineage among the Arabs. This is what people call the Nabati, the Khudhari, or similar terms. All of this was abolished by Islam[Al-Hujurat 49:10]. For this reason, it came in the hadith from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): Sunan Ibn Majah 1967Da'if (Darussalam) and he did not say: "and his lineage" Sunan al-Bayhaqi 10:875.
So, if this woman pleased the man—and this is the direct answer to your question—if she pleased him in her religion and her character, let him hold on to her. Even if his father orders him to divorce her, he should not listen to him or obey him. He should not consider his disobedience in this matter to be undutifulness to his parents. Rather, it is the father who is cutting off the family ties. If he says, "If you keep her, I will cut off my relationship with you," then he is the one cutting off the ties. And Allah the Exalted said:[Muhammad 47:22-23]. There is no doubt that attempting to separate a man from his wife is corruption on earth. For this reason, Allah made that the work of sorcerers. He said: [Al-Baqarah 2:102]. And sorcerers are corrupters, as Moses (peace be upon him) said: [Yunus 10:81]. Thus, sorcerers are classified among the corrupters.
And among the sorcerers' magic, and the greatest of their magic, is separating a man from his family. So this father who tries to separate his son from his wife, his action is of the same kind as the action of sorcerers. It is corruption on earth. So this father who orders his son to divorce his wife, or else he will cut him off, is among those who cut off family ties and corrupt on earth. He falls under the verse:[Muhammad 47:22-23].
And now I direct my advice to the son, and I say: Stick to your wife as long as she has pleased you in her religion and her character. And another piece of advice to the father: Fear Allah regarding yourself. Do not separate your son from his family, lest you fall into corruption on earth, and also into cutting off family ties. As for the son, we tell him: Proceed with what you are doing. Whether your father is pleased or not, and whether he cuts you off or maintains the relationship, it is the same. But if it is decreed that he carries out his threat and cuts you off, then you go to him and try to reconcile him. If he refuses, then the sin is on him alone.
Some people might say: "Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) ordered his son to divorce his wife, so he divorced her by the order of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). I am ordering my son, so let him divorce his wife." We say: This issue was asked of Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him): "A man came to him and said: 'My father is ordering me to divorce my wife.' He said to him: 'Even if he orders you, do not divorce her.'" I think Imam Ahmad asked him: "Are you interested in her or not?" When he informed him that he was interested, he said: "Do not divorce her. The man said: 'Has not Umar ordered his son to divorce his wife, so he divorced her?' He said: 'Is your father Umar?'" Umar did not order his son to divorce his wife merely out of whim or tribal loyalty, but for a matter he saw to be in the public interest.
In summary: The son has the right to keep his wife as long as she has pleased him in religion and character, whether his mother or father is pleased or not.
The Shaykh : First, I advise Muslims to avoid such matters, because Allah the Exalted removed from us, through the message of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), the tribalism of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance. He forbade us from being fanatical, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade anyone from oppressing anyone else. All people are from Adam, and Adam was created from dust. No one has superiority over another except through mindfulness of Allah,
Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you
إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْHowever, there is no doubt that lineages differ; some are high, some are lower, and some have no known lineage among the Arabs. This is what people call the Nabati, the Khudhari, or similar terms. All of this was abolished by Islam
The believers are but brothers
إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌIf there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased
إذا أتاكم من ترضون دينه وخلقهSo marry him off, unless you do not do so, there will be a trial in the land and great corruption.
فأنكحوه إلا تفعلوه تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد كبيرSo, if this woman pleased the man—and this is the direct answer to your question—if she pleased him in her religion and her character, let him hold on to her. Even if his father orders him to divorce her, he should not listen to him or obey him. He should not consider his disobedience in this matter to be undutifulness to his parents. Rather, it is the father who is cutting off the family ties. If he says, "If you keep her, I will cut off my relationship with you," then he is the one cutting off the ties. And Allah the Exalted said:
(22) So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship? (23) Those [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision.
فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِنْ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَنْ تُفْسِدُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ * أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ اللَّهُ فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَى أَبْصَارَهُمْAnd [yet] they learn from them that by which they cause separation between a man and his wife
فَيَتَعَلَّمُونَ مِنْهُمَا مَا يُفَرِّقُونَ بِهِ بَيْنَ الْمَرْءِ وَزَوْجِهِWhat you have brought is [only] magic. Indeed, Allah will expose its worthlessness. Indeed, Allah does not amend the work of corrupters.
مَا جِئْتُمْ بِهِ السِّحْرُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَيُبْطِلُهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لا يُصْلِحُ عَمَلَ الْمُفْسِدِينَAnd among the sorcerers' magic, and the greatest of their magic, is separating a man from his family. So this father who tries to separate his son from his wife, his action is of the same kind as the action of sorcerers. It is corruption on earth. So this father who orders his son to divorce his wife, or else he will cut him off, is among those who cut off family ties and corrupt on earth. He falls under the verse:
(22) So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship? (23) Those [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision.
فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِنْ تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَنْ تُفْسِدُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ * أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ اللَّهُ فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَى أَبْصَارَهُمْAnd now I direct my advice to the son, and I say: Stick to your wife as long as she has pleased you in her religion and her character. And another piece of advice to the father: Fear Allah regarding yourself. Do not separate your son from his family, lest you fall into corruption on earth, and also into cutting off family ties. As for the son, we tell him: Proceed with what you are doing. Whether your father is pleased or not, and whether he cuts you off or maintains the relationship, it is the same. But if it is decreed that he carries out his threat and cuts you off, then you go to him and try to reconcile him. If he refuses, then the sin is on him alone.
Some people might say: "Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) ordered his son to divorce his wife, so he divorced her by the order of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). I am ordering my son, so let him divorce his wife." We say: This issue was asked of Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him): "A man came to him and said: 'My father is ordering me to divorce my wife.' He said to him: 'Even if he orders you, do not divorce her.'" I think Imam Ahmad asked him: "Are you interested in her or not?" When he informed him that he was interested, he said: "Do not divorce her. The man said: 'Has not Umar ordered his son to divorce his wife, so he divorced her?' He said: 'Is your father Umar?'" Umar did not order his son to divorce his wife merely out of whim or tribal loyalty, but for a matter he saw to be in the public interest.
In summary: The son has the right to keep his wife as long as she has pleased him in religion and character, whether his mother or father is pleased or not.