I have a question that confuses and worries me: my mother (may Allah preserve her) often asks me to take her on trips here and there.
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The questioner : He says: O honorable Shaykh, I have a question that confuses and worries me. It is that my mother (may Allah preserve her) often asks me to take her on trips.
The Shaykh : Yes?
The questioner : To take her on many trips here and there. And we all gather at her house every day. This activity, O honorable Shaykh, is not hidden from you; it involves wasting time and life without benefit. I am in a difficult position if I obey her, and this is what I am doing now. My time is being wasted. If I reduce my visits to her and going out with her, I would have been undutiful to her. So I am in a difficult position regarding my situation, so guide me, may Allah grant you success?
The Shaykh : If there is no harm to you in fulfilling her request, then fulfill it. If there is harm to you or you miss out on a benefit, do not fulfill it except out of dire necessity. Trips and visiting relatives and friends are not a dire necessity. But the criterion is this: if fulfilling her request causes you to miss out on benefits or puts you in harm, you are not obligated to fulfill it. However, you must be tactful with her, convince her, and take her feelings into consideration. As for if there is no harm to you, or if the harm to her is greater than the harm to you if you fulfill it, then fulfill it. This is excepted if fulfilling it prevents you from an obligatory duty, in which case it is not permissible. For example, if fulfilling it occupies you from establishing the congregation, meaning establishing the prayer in congregation. Here, there is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator. Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes?
The questioner : To take her on many trips here and there. And we all gather at her house every day. This activity, O honorable Shaykh, is not hidden from you; it involves wasting time and life without benefit. I am in a difficult position if I obey her, and this is what I am doing now. My time is being wasted. If I reduce my visits to her and going out with her, I would have been undutiful to her. So I am in a difficult position regarding my situation, so guide me, may Allah grant you success?
The Shaykh : If there is no harm to you in fulfilling her request, then fulfill it. If there is harm to you or you miss out on a benefit, do not fulfill it except out of dire necessity. Trips and visiting relatives and friends are not a dire necessity. But the criterion is this: if fulfilling her request causes you to miss out on benefits or puts you in harm, you are not obligated to fulfill it. However, you must be tactful with her, convince her, and take her feelings into consideration. As for if there is no harm to you, or if the harm to her is greater than the harm to you if you fulfill it, then fulfill it. This is excepted if fulfilling it prevents you from an obligatory duty, in which case it is not permissible. For example, if fulfilling it occupies you from establishing the congregation, meaning establishing the prayer in congregation. Here, there is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator. Yes.