And you also ask about condolences: is shaking hands sufficient without kissing? We ask for your guidance?
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The questioner : You ask about condolences: is shaking hands sufficient without kissing? We ask for your guidance?
The Shaykh : Condolences are what is said to the one afflicted with a calamity, consisting of any words that strengthen him against the calamity and explain to him the reward for patience and seeking reward from Allah. There is no shaking hands in it, nor any kissing, for that was not known in the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Moreover, condolences are not limited to the words known among people, such as saying: "May Allah magnify your reward, improve your consolation, and forgive your deceased." Rather, condolences are as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) consoled one of his daughters when she sent a messenger to inform him that her child was dying and asked him to come. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to the messenger sent by one of his daughters: These are the words containing condolences, the great condolences, because they are comprehensive and beneficial words that came from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), whom Allah the Exalted sent with clear proofs and guidance. Then, it is obligatory during condolences to avoid wailing, which is crying with a loud voice like the cooing of a pigeon. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the wailer and the listener, and said: Sahih Muslim 934 May Allah protect us from that. For this reason, the scholars disliked the family of the deceased preparing food and inviting people to gather, because this opens the door to wailing and lamentation and keeps the effect of the calamity so that it is not forgotten.
And what is obligatory for the afflicted person is to seek reward from Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He), to be patient, and to know that the decreed matter will inevitably happen, and that the One who decrees it is Allah, in Whose hand is the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and to Him belongs what He takes and what He leaves, and every thing is with Him by a specified term.
The questioner : Allah is the Helper. May Allah bless you. The listener, whose name is symbolized by the letters M A H A, from Irbid in Jordan, says: O Shaykh Muhammad.
The Shaykh : Condolences are what is said to the one afflicted with a calamity, consisting of any words that strengthen him against the calamity and explain to him the reward for patience and seeking reward from Allah. There is no shaking hands in it, nor any kissing, for that was not known in the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Moreover, condolences are not limited to the words known among people, such as saying: "May Allah magnify your reward, improve your consolation, and forgive your deceased." Rather, condolences are as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) consoled one of his daughters when she sent a messenger to inform him that her child was dying and asked him to come. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to the messenger sent by one of his daughters:
Tell her to be patient and to seek reward from Allah, for to Allah belongs what He takes and what He leaves, and every thing is with Him by a specified term.
مرها فلتصبر ولتحتسب، فإن لله ما أخذ، وله ما أبقى، وكل شيء عنده بأجل مسمىIf the wailing woman does not repent before she dies, she will be made to stand on the Day of Resurrection wearing a garment of pitch and a chemise of mange.
النائحة إذا لم تتب قبل موتها تُقام يوم القيامة وعليها سربال من قطران، ودرع من جربAnd what is obligatory for the afflicted person is to seek reward from Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He), to be patient, and to know that the decreed matter will inevitably happen, and that the One who decrees it is Allah, in Whose hand is the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and to Him belongs what He takes and what He leaves, and every thing is with Him by a specified term.
The questioner : Allah is the Helper. May Allah bless you. The listener, whose name is symbolized by the letters M A H A, from Irbid in Jordan, says: O Shaykh Muhammad.