My family consists of daughters, and it has been decreed that my sisters and I remain unmarried.
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The questioner : I want to consult you on a matter concerning me and the female members of my family, which is that it has been decreed that my sisters and I remain unmarried. This is because we have passed the age of marriage by a very, very long time, if not approaching the age of despair. This is while, praise be to Allah, I bear witness to what I say, that we are of high moral character, and while, praise be to Allah, we have all obtained university degrees. Also, she says: But this is our portion, and praise be to Allah. We ask Allah, the Exalted, for patience, faith, and piety. However, the financial aspect is what does not encourage anyone to marry us, because the conditions of marriage, especially in our country, are based on partnership between the spouses, considering what will happen in the future. And now, after I passed the age of marriage, Allah the Mighty and Majestic guided me to work in the United Arab Emirates. However, I heard in your esteemed program, *Nur 'ala al-Darb*, about the prohibition of this travel, following the Sunnah of our Messenger, may Allah peace and blessings be upon him. So, by the will of Allah, I decided to submit my resignation to return to my country once again. This is because I have no one whose circumstances allow them to travel with me. And now I ask you, O honorable...The Shaykh : How do we protect...
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : ourselves from the pain that has been decreed for us, and how do we protect ourselves from the many questions directed at us by everyone regarding the reason for our not being married? Our mixing with people has become impossible because of this matter, so that we may avoid the many questions about the reason for our not being married. I know that patience, prayer, and seeking help from Allah, the Exalted, is the way, but there is no doubt that there is hardship on the soul in this matter. I ask for advice and guidance... On behalf of my sisters, I ask Allah for good for me and for them. May Allah bless you, O honorable Shaykh. And after that, there are points we will come to?
The Shaykh : The advice I direct to such women who have been delayed in marriage is, as the questioner indicated, that they should turn to Allah the Mighty and Majestic with supplication and humility, asking Him to prepare for them a man whose religion and character are pleasing. And if a person is sincere in their determination to turn to Allah and seek refuge in Him, and they observe the etiquettes of supplication and abandon the obstacles to its acceptance, then Allah the Exalted says:[Al-Baqarah 2:186] And He the Exalted said: [Ghafir 40:60] So He, the Exalted and Majestic, made the response to supplication contingent upon a person responding to Allah and believing in Him. So I see nothing stronger than turning to Allah the Mighty and Majestic, supplicating to Him, being humble before Him, and waiting for relief. It is established from the Prophet, may Allah peace and blessings be upon him, that he said: And I ask Allah the Exalted for them and for those like them to make matters easy for them and to prepare for them righteous men who will help them in the rectification of religion and worldly affairs. Yes.
The questioner : O Allah, amen. A point, O honorable Shaykh, the listener says... Does our not being married, and the pain it causes us, serve as expiation for our sins? Does this deprivation apply to our case, or is it just a portion and a decree?
The Shaykh : It is no doubt that what has happened is a portion and a decree. For Allah, the Exalted and Majestic, has written in the Preserved Tablet what is to happen until the Day of Resurrection, and He has written for the servant his term, his deeds, his provision, and whether he is wretched or happy. And Allah the Exalted has indicated this in His saying:[Al-Hadid 57:22-23] And although it is written and decreed by Allah the Mighty and Majestic, Allah the Exalted rewards a person for it if he is patient and seeks reward. If a person is patient and seeks reward regarding a calamity, in that is the expiation of his sins, the raising of his ranks, and the increase of his reward. Allah the Exalted said: [Al-Baqarah 2:155-157] And He the Exalted said: [Az-Zumar 39:10]. Yes.
The questioner : The point following these points.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : ourselves from the pain that has been decreed for us, and how do we protect ourselves from the many questions directed at us by everyone regarding the reason for our not being married? Our mixing with people has become impossible because of this matter, so that we may avoid the many questions about the reason for our not being married. I know that patience, prayer, and seeking help from Allah, the Exalted, is the way, but there is no doubt that there is hardship on the soul in this matter. I ask for advice and guidance... On behalf of my sisters, I ask Allah for good for me and for them. May Allah bless you, O honorable Shaykh. And after that, there are points we will come to?
The Shaykh : The advice I direct to such women who have been delayed in marriage is, as the questioner indicated, that they should turn to Allah the Mighty and Majestic with supplication and humility, asking Him to prepare for them a man whose religion and character are pleasing. And if a person is sincere in their determination to turn to Allah and seek refuge in Him, and they observe the etiquettes of supplication and abandon the obstacles to its acceptance, then Allah the Exalted says:
And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.
وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَAnd your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you."
وَقَالَ رَبُّكُمُ ادْعُونِي أَسْتَجِبْ لَكُمْAnd know that victory is with patience, and that relief is with distress, and that with hardship is ease.
واعلم أن النصر مع الصبر، وأن الفرج مع الكرب، وأن مع العسر يسرًاThe questioner : O Allah, amen. A point, O honorable Shaykh, the listener says... Does our not being married, and the pain it causes us, serve as expiation for our sins? Does this deprivation apply to our case, or is it just a portion and a decree?
The Shaykh : It is no doubt that what has happened is a portion and a decree. For Allah, the Exalted and Majestic, has written in the Preserved Tablet what is to happen until the Day of Resurrection, and He has written for the servant his term, his deeds, his provision, and whether he is wretched or happy. And Allah the Exalted has indicated this in His saying:
(22) No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being - indeed that, for Allah, is easy - (23) In order that you not despair over what has eluded you and not exult [in pride] over what He has given you. And Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful -
مَا أَصَابَ مِنْ مُصِيبَةٍ فِي الأَرْضِ وَلا فِي أَنْفُسِكُمْ إِلَّا فِي كِتَابٍ مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ نَبْرَأَهَا إِنَّ ذَلِكَ عَلَى اللَّهِ يَسِيرٌ * لِكَيْلا تَأْسَوْا عَلَى مَا فَاتَكُمْ وَلا تَفْرَحُوا بِمَا ءاتَاكُمْbut give good tidings to the patient, (156) Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return." (157) Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.
وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ * الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُمْ مُصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ * أُوْلَئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِنْ رَبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ وَأُوْلَئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَIndeed, the patient will be given their reward without account."
إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى الصَّابِرُونَ أَجْرَهُمْ بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍThe questioner : The point following these points.