Is it also written that so-and-so will marry so-and-so, for example, and not anyone else, and that this will certainly happen, or does human choice enter into selecting the woman he likes and leaving the other?

The questioner : Is it also written that so-and-so will marry so-and-so, for example, and not anyone else, and that this will certainly happen, or does human choice enter into selecting the woman he likes and leaving the other? For example, he says: My father forced me to marry my cousin without my choice, but after living with her, I found her to be among the best of women in what is sought in a woman, and I changed my hatred for her into great love. Now I regret it every time I remember my previous hatred for her. Did Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He, write for me that I would marry her and that this hatred would occur and then I would love her?

The Shaykh : I say that everything that happens in the universe is written, as we mentioned at the beginning of the discussion. And the change of a matter or the change of a state from one thing to another is also written. And the fact that a person marries so-and-so and not so-and-so is also written. We see that some people resolve with firm determination to do a certain action, but then their determination weakens from within themselves, or their determination weakens through the advice of one of the people, or they remain determined but obstacles that are not under their control intervene between them and it. So such a thing that they were determined to do is not decreed for them, and it does not happen. Sometimes a person resolves to leave something, but he does not realize until his will has turned to doing it and it has become easy for him to reach it, either from within himself, or through the advice of one of the people, or by seeing matters that call him to obtain this thing. This is common and clear, to the extent that a person sometimes leaves his house intending to visit a specific person, and during the journey he remembers something else more important, so he turns from the first intention to the second, or during the journey his determination to go to this man breaks and he returns without any reason. All of this indicates that matters are written with Allah, Mighty and Majestic. For this reason, it was said to a Bedouin: By what did you know your Lord? Meaning by what thing did you know Allah, Mighty and Majestic? By what sign do you infer Allah? He said: "By the breaking of resolutions and the turning away of desires", meaning that a person may resolve with firm determination, but he does not realize until his resolution has broken without any reason, and his desire and concern for the thing goes, and then he does not realize until he has been turned away from this thing.
And the important thing is that you must know that everything that happens is written with Allah in the manner in which it happened; it does not advance or delay, nor does it increase or decrease. Allah the Exalted said: Every thing is with Allah by measure, even the showers of rain are written with Allah the Exalted and measured, and there is nothing but that it happens according to the measure of Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He.