Obedience to Parents in Choosing a Wife
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Question: I am a young man who wants to get married. I proposed to a girl from outside our family, and I informed my father and mother about it, but they refused this marriage. I am determined to marry this girl.But my mother said to me: If I marry this girl, I will not forgive you, neither in this world nor in the Hereafter, and we will never have contact again. My other brothers and my father also refused. I do not know why they refused my marriage to her, and nothing has been shown to me that would prevent it. I am strongly determined. Is there a sin on me if I marry her, or is this considered undutifulness and disobedience to my father? Please advise me on what I should do: should I marry her or leave her?
Answer: As long as your parents and your brothers have agreed to prevent you from marrying this girl, you should not marry her. This is because they know about her what you do not know, and they are the most sincere people toward you and the most gentle with you. If they did not know something about her that is not suitable, they would not have prevented you from marrying her, especially your parents, given their compassion and concern for their child. Therefore, you should not marry this woman, and they have warned you
about her and advised you to refrain from marrying her. There are many women, and whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will replace it with something better. So, obeying your parents and brothers is better for you in one respect, and in another respect, they are more sincere toward you than anyone else. Perhaps they know about this woman what you do not know, regarding traits that are not suitable. Therefore, you should not marry her. There are many women, and obeying the parents and brothers brings good, if Allah wills.
Answer: As long as your parents and your brothers have agreed to prevent you from marrying this girl, you should not marry her. This is because they know about her what you do not know, and they are the most sincere people toward you and the most gentle with you. If they did not know something about her that is not suitable, they would not have prevented you from marrying her, especially your parents, given their compassion and concern for their child. Therefore, you should not marry this woman, and they have warned you
about her and advised you to refrain from marrying her. There are many women, and whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will replace it with something better. So, obeying your parents and brothers is better for you in one respect, and in another respect, they are more sincere toward you than anyone else. Perhaps they know about this woman what you do not know, regarding traits that are not suitable. Therefore, you should not marry her. There are many women, and obeying the parents and brothers brings good, if Allah wills.