We hear from the common people that so-and-so is destined for so-and-so, but when asked, I said

The questioner: No problem, another question... Last year, some shaykhs came... on the topic of Islamic culture regarding divine decree and destiny... the problem of marriage. We hear from the common people that so-and-so is destined for so-and-so. When asked, of course, I said: "We believe in divine decree and destiny and we cannot go beyond it, but marriage is a matter that reason permits." I used an argument I cited: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: - so at the end of the hadith he says - So the Messenger (peace be upon him) called us to the one who is loving and fertile. And if we believe in the people's theory that marriage or a wife is destined, then I should, in the first place, go without asking about faith, morals, or provision, and say, "This one is destined for me," and take her. So where is the place of reason in marriage, and where is the place of divine decree and destiny in marriage?

The Shaykh: People's talk, my brother, does not go beyond what we said earlier. And they do not mean that so-and-so is destined for me, because we said that deeds are by their endings. So-and-so claims she is destined for him; he strives after her and proposes to her. Her family may accept or they may not. O professor, you must keep in mind his saying (peace be upon him): Everything is by decree, meaning my wife, your wife, all of this is decreed. But do not forget your saying that the decree is hidden. No one can say so-and-so will definitely become my wife. But if Allah has decreed that so-and-so will be my wife, no one can prevent her from being mine. She will become my wife whether they like it or not. So the common people's saying aligns with this general Islamic statement: Everything is by decree. But when is it said that so-and-so was his wife in the unseen? Only when she became his wife. Before that, it cannot be said, and they do not say this. I mean, they do not intend this.

The questioner: ... meaning Allah the Exalted commanded me, and the Prophet (peace be upon him) commanded me, to seek out the one with faith...

The Shaykh: Among the causes that have been discussed, yes, among taking the causes that we were commanded to take. And I told you there is a difference between happiness and misery. The causes in this are necessarily linked to their effects, unlike worldly matters, which may bear fruit or may not. For example, you hear news of a woman whose righteousness, faith, beauty, and wealth are all of the best kind. You strive diligently to propose to her, but in the end, may Allah forbid it, or may Allah permit it and it ends, if Allah wills. You return with empty hands. Why? Because it is not obligatory that you brought the cause to be happy in this world. This cause is not subject to control. Do not forget the verse: So this is immediate. As for eternal happiness, it never fails to follow its causes. The important thing is that the word I quoted from the common people is a word of truth, and it is not intended, of course, to reveal the unseen, that so-and-so will be the wife of so-and-so. No one says this, and praise be to Allah. You have been patient with us for a long time. May Allah reward you with good.