I have a cousin (daughter of my paternal uncle) whom I wish to marry, but I was breastfed by her only once. Is it permissible for me to marry her?
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The questioner : I have a cousin (daughter of my paternal uncle) whom I wish to marry, but I was breastfed by her only once?
The Shaykh : Were you breastfed by her or by her mother? Is she an adult?
The questioner : So, is it permissible for me to marry her? I ask for a detailed explanation.
The Shaykh : I say that one breastfeed does not have an effect; only five breastfeeds have an effect. Moreover, the breastfeeds must be before weaning and before the completion of two years. If a person is breastfed by a woman once, twice, three times, or four times, he is not her son, because five complete breastfeeds are required. Also, the five breastfeeds must be known with certainty. If there is doubt, and one says, "This child was breastfed by this woman, but I do not know if it was five or four?" The default is four, because whenever there is doubt about a number, we take the lesser amount.
Therefore, we say: If a woman says, "I breastfed this child, but I do not know if it was once, twice, three times, four times, or five times," we say: The child is not her son, because five known breastfeeds without doubt are required.
By the way, if someone asks you: Is it possible to establish fatherhood through breastfeeding without motherhood, or motherhood without fatherhood? What is the answer? That is, can a person have a father through breastfeeding but not a mother through breastfeeding? Or have a mother through breastfeeding but not a father through breastfeeding?
Yes, we say: It is possible. It is possible for a person to have a father through breastfeeding but not a mother through breastfeeding. How is that?
A man has two wives. One of them breastfed this child twice, and the other breastfed this child three times from the milk of this man. So now, he has a father through breastfeeding but not a mother through breastfeeding, because one of the wives breastfed him twice and the other breastfed him three times. The first one, who breastfed him twice, was not his mother, and the second one was also not his mother, since she did not breastfeed him five times. But because the milk was from one man, he has a father but not a mother.
And is it possible for him to have a mother but not a father?
Yes, it is possible, and this is common. But the example is: A woman breastfed this child while she was with her husband twice. Then she separated from her husband and married another man and bore a child from him. The first child was breastfed by her from the milk of the other man. How many times was he breastfed? Three times. So he has a mother but not a father, because she did not breastfeed him with the first milk more than twice, and she did not breastfeed him with the second milk more than three times. So he has a mother but not a father.
And the issues of breastfeeding are among the issues that are difficult for many people, even for students of knowledge, because they are interrelated issues. However, in reality, Allah (Mighty and Majestic) has made them easy on the tongue of His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), where the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said two words, or rather one word:Sunan Ibn Majah 1937Sahih (Darussalam). If you take this hadith, which is one of the rules, and look at what is forbidden by blood relation. What is forbidden by blood relation is seven women whom Allah mentioned in His saying: [An-Nisa 4:23]. Okay, how many are these? The one who says five, how many did you read? [An-Nisa 4:23]
The student: Seven.
The Shaykh : Now I said five, my calculation is like this. Seven or five?
The student: Seven.
The Shaykh : Okay, so your mother through breastfeeding is forbidden, your daughter through breastfeeding is forbidden, your sister through breastfeeding is forbidden, your aunt (paternal) through breastfeeding is forbidden, your aunt (maternal) is forbidden, your brother's daughter is forbidden, your sister's daughter is forbiddenSunan Ibn Majah 1937Sahih (Darussalam).
If you know this rule and add it to the verse, everything becomes clear.
And based on this, if a person was breastfed by a woman who has daughters, and the brother of the breastfed person wants to marry the daughters of this woman, is it permissible or not?
The student: Yes, it is permissible.
The Shaykh : What do you say, everyone? Is it permissible? How is it permissible for him to marry his brother's sister?
The student: His brother's sister is not his sister.
The Shaykh : Are you with me, everyone? This woman breastfed a person and she has daughters, and this breastfed person has a brother. Is it permissible for the brother of the breastfed person to marry the daughters of the nursing mother or not?
The student: ... .
The Shaykh : Permissibility is allowed.
The Shaykh : Were you breastfed by her or by her mother? Is she an adult?
The questioner : So, is it permissible for me to marry her? I ask for a detailed explanation.
The Shaykh : I say that one breastfeed does not have an effect; only five breastfeeds have an effect. Moreover, the breastfeeds must be before weaning and before the completion of two years. If a person is breastfed by a woman once, twice, three times, or four times, he is not her son, because five complete breastfeeds are required. Also, the five breastfeeds must be known with certainty. If there is doubt, and one says, "This child was breastfed by this woman, but I do not know if it was five or four?" The default is four, because whenever there is doubt about a number, we take the lesser amount.
Therefore, we say: If a woman says, "I breastfed this child, but I do not know if it was once, twice, three times, four times, or five times," we say: The child is not her son, because five known breastfeeds without doubt are required.
By the way, if someone asks you: Is it possible to establish fatherhood through breastfeeding without motherhood, or motherhood without fatherhood? What is the answer? That is, can a person have a father through breastfeeding but not a mother through breastfeeding? Or have a mother through breastfeeding but not a father through breastfeeding?
Yes, we say: It is possible. It is possible for a person to have a father through breastfeeding but not a mother through breastfeeding. How is that?
A man has two wives. One of them breastfed this child twice, and the other breastfed this child three times from the milk of this man. So now, he has a father through breastfeeding but not a mother through breastfeeding, because one of the wives breastfed him twice and the other breastfed him three times. The first one, who breastfed him twice, was not his mother, and the second one was also not his mother, since she did not breastfeed him five times. But because the milk was from one man, he has a father but not a mother.
And is it possible for him to have a mother but not a father?
Yes, it is possible, and this is common. But the example is: A woman breastfed this child while she was with her husband twice. Then she separated from her husband and married another man and bore a child from him. The first child was breastfed by her from the milk of the other man. How many times was he breastfed? Three times. So he has a mother but not a father, because she did not breastfeed him with the first milk more than twice, and she did not breastfeed him with the second milk more than three times. So he has a mother but not a father.
And the issues of breastfeeding are among the issues that are difficult for many people, even for students of knowledge, because they are interrelated issues. However, in reality, Allah (Mighty and Majestic) has made them easy on the tongue of His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), where the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said two words, or rather one word:
Breast-feeding makes unlawful (for marriages) the same things that blood tie make unlawful.
يحرم من الرضاع ما يحرم من النسبProhibited to you [for marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters
حرمت عليكم أمهاتكم وبناتكم وأخواتكم وعماتكم وخالاتكم وبنات الأخ وبنات الأختProhibited to you [for marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters
حرمت عليكم أمهاتكم وبناتكم وأخواتكم وعماتكم وخالاتكم وبنات الأخ وبنات الأختThe student: Seven.
The Shaykh : Now I said five, my calculation is like this. Seven or five?
The student: Seven.
The Shaykh : Okay, so your mother through breastfeeding is forbidden, your daughter through breastfeeding is forbidden, your sister through breastfeeding is forbidden, your aunt (paternal) through breastfeeding is forbidden, your aunt (maternal) is forbidden, your brother's daughter is forbidden, your sister's daughter is forbidden
Breast-feeding makes unlawful (for marriages) the same things that blood tie make unlawful.
يحرم من الرضاع ما يحرم من النسبIf you know this rule and add it to the verse, everything becomes clear.
And based on this, if a person was breastfed by a woman who has daughters, and the brother of the breastfed person wants to marry the daughters of this woman, is it permissible or not?
The student: Yes, it is permissible.
The Shaykh : What do you say, everyone? Is it permissible? How is it permissible for him to marry his brother's sister?
The student: His brother's sister is not his sister.
The Shaykh : Are you with me, everyone? This woman breastfed a person and she has daughters, and this breastfed person has a brother. Is it permissible for the brother of the breastfed person to marry the daughters of the nursing mother or not?
The student: ... .
The Shaykh : Permissibility is allowed.