Is marriage a portion and a destiny, or is it a choice? And what is the validity of the saying of some: "Your portion is in your hand."

The questioner : My question to my teacher is: Is marriage a portion and a destiny, meaning that it is written for a girl or a man at birth, that this marriage or this wife is written for him, or is it my choice?

The Shaykh : May Allah forgive you, what is the difference between this question and the question of one rich person and one poor person, one handsome and one ugly, one... and so on? Without a doubt, what is decreed for a person is a reality that he has no power over, but he is obligated to strive in his effort. Then, he is not asked about the outcome of the matter if it happens contrary to his opinion. For example, the one who proposed to a woman was eager to propose to her, and she was righteous, but with time it became clear that she was wicked. Of course, this is his portion, but everything is by decree, as he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: But this does not mean that a person, within the limits of his ability and capacity, is not obligated to strive to choose the good. No, that is something else. So a person should strive, and then the rest is up to Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He). So the answer is: Of course, it is a portion, but we do not want to understand that it is a portion such that a person, as the people say, relies on Allah and that is all. No, rather he takes the means and then relies on the Lord of Lords.

The questioner : The famous saying among people is: "Your portion is in your hand."

The Shaykh : How?

The questioner : When something happens to him, he says, "This is my portion."

The Shaykh : What do they say?

The questioner : "Your portion is in your hand."

The Shaykh : No, this saying is false.