A young man proposed to a woman and looked at her with the look of a proposal; is it permissible for him to look at her a second time before the contract, and what is the limit of looking at her?

The questioner : The second question: A young man proposed to a girl without a contract and looked at her the first time, then perhaps this period is prolonged until he contracts with her a year or more. Is it permissible for him to see her a second and third time and so on, or does he not see her until he contracts with her, and she is wearing the niqab?

The Shaykh : Yes.

The questioner : The girl is wearing the niqab.

The Shaykh : And he saw her wearing the niqab?

The questioner : She is wearing the niqab, meaning she wears the face veil.

The Shaykh : I understood, my brother, and he saw her wearing the niqab?

The questioner: No.

The Shaykh : So what did you intend by saying that she is wearing the niqab?

The questioner : I mean, perhaps this young man wants to go every week, for example, in the presence of her father as a mahram, and look at her, and she looks at him, throughout this period. I mean, or does he not see her at all, meaning she wears the niqab in front of him and he does not see her until the contract is completed?

The Shaykh : Now something has become clear that was hidden. I understood the first part: he saw her once and then wants to see her a second time. Now he wants to see her every week. Here it is said that there is blessing in movement. As you all know, the looking is, above all, not for a desire the viewer seeks, but rather it is the implementation of a legal ruling, as it came in the authentic hadith: And in the other hadith: So if he saw her, did he contemplate her?

The questioner: Yes.

The Shaykh : Good, for example, within the scope of the second hadith: Did he see something in her eyes? No. So why does he want to look at her a second time, indeed multiple times, as we understood from you last? Why?

The questioner : Perhaps by the hadith he says: He says, perhaps in this hadith there is no limit to the number of times of looking.

The Shaykh : This takes us to a discussion in usul al-fiqh: Does the command for a thing necessitate repetition?

The questioner : No, it does not necessitate it.

The Shaykh : So then, no. So he does not look at her... and that is when, when he looked at her, he did not satisfy his gaze by looking at her for one reason or another, and this can happen. For example, and this could have been in the old days, but today it may have become forgotten: that this young man is shy and modest, and he is not able to settle his gaze on his fiancée so that her features are clearly revealed by that look. He is shy, and this, as I said, is not present today. But let us assume this as a reason. We can assume a second reason, and this may be realistic: the girl's family, from her father and brother and so on, occupied him with conversation with them so that he did not satisfy his gaze in her. So indeed, he was not able to reach the goal that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) intended when he said: And the reasons are many, so I will not reveal a secret if I tell you what happened to me. My first wife (may Allah have mercy on her), who is the mother of 'Abd al-Rahman, passed away. So I began to search, and I was directed to an Egyptian Salafi man in Damascus who had a kuttab where he taught children the Qur'an. It was said to me that he has a daughter, and we put people in the middle that we wanted to propose. So the meeting happened, and they brought this girl in to me, as is the custom, with a cup of tea or a cup of coffee. I saw her, but I did not see her. Why? Not because I am a person of modesty, but I saw her and did not see her because it became clear to me that she was adorned and powdered with powder and rouge and so on. So they lost her personality for me, yes.

The questioner : This is modesty.

The Shaykh : Yes. So we asked to see her another time, and I do not remember now, in fact, whether I saw her or not, but it was not our fate to marry her. So the point, may Allah bless you, I think the answer intended by the command to look at the woman has become clear.
Al-Halabi : With the courage of the Egyptians, our Shaykh.

The Shaykh : How?
Al-Halabi : The courage of the Egyptians suits you, our Shaykh.

The Shaykh : And now I remembered something that must be mentioned. You know that the original ruling regarding looking at a woman is not permissible. So in addition to what I raised earlier from the question, and we said we should return to a usul al-fiqh rule: "Does the command for a thing necessitate repetition?" The correct answer was no. So now I am adding something else, and I say: in addition to the fact that his saying (peace and blessings be upon him) does not necessitate repetition, it is contrary to the original ruling. This looking is contrary to the original ruling. The original ruling is that looking by a man at a woman is forbidden: Likewise for women, so it is not permissible. So the suitor should not repeat his look a second and third time, not to achieve the goal that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) aimed for, due to the occurrence of a cause that prevents its achievement, as we mentioned, and I gave you an example with myself earlier. So if the original ruling is that it is not permissible to look at a woman except for the proposal, and do not say "the proposal" as some people say, because the proposal is for the preachers, not for the suitors. The intended goal of the proposal is that he sees her and is on clear knowledge: is she dark-skinned, is she white, is she red-haired, and so on. So if this goal is achieved in the first look, it is forbidden for him to repeat it. And if it is not achieved for a reason that is not lustful, then in that case it is permissible for him to repeat it a second time, but not multiple times. Is the answer clear? This is the second and third?

Another questioner : If you please, my Shaykh, on this question.

The Shaykh : Please go ahead.

Another questioner : Is the intended looking at her as people do in this time, or as Jabir said, "I used to hide from her"?

The Shaykh : This is indeed the intended meaning: that there is no prior agreement on this looking. This looking that is without the awareness of the woman being looked at is what permits the viewer to look at her more than what is permissible for her to reveal of her body, which is nothing but the face and the two hands. So as happened with that Companion, and I do not think it was Jabir, it was another man. Muslimah, and what do you remember?

The questioner:...

The Shaykh : The intended meaning was that he was seen following a woman in... for her, they said, "You are a Companion of the Messenger of Allah and you do this!" He said, he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: So he may see from her, in this state, something of her arm, something of her leg, and so on. This is permissible, but this is not permissible if the suitor agrees with the girl's guardian to look at her except for what is permissible for her to show in front of people usually, which is the face and the two hands, according to the known disagreement among scholars, old and new, regarding whether the face and the two hands are part of the 'awrah or not. In summary, the first look is permissible by text, but the second look is not permissible except if the goal of the first look was not achieved. As for repeating it every day, every week, going to visit her family and seeing her and looking at her, this is a European way that has no connection to the Islamic Shari'ah. The third question?