Benefits of the Hadith: (If one of you proposes to a woman, then if he is able to look at her . . .)

The Shaykh : In this hadith, there are benefits. First: It is recommended for a person to look at the woman he intends to marry, based on the understanding that the lam (particle) indicates guidance and request. This is the stronger position: that it is for guidance and request, and that it is recommended to look at the woman one intends to marry. However, this general permission is restricted by certain conditions.
The first condition: That it not be in seclusion. If it is in seclusion, it is forbidden, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): .
The second condition: That he be determined to propose and move forward. If he is not determined, he should not do it. This is because the original ruling is the prohibition of looking at women, which was excepted for the one who intends to propose for the sake of the benefit that follows from it. If he is not determined, it is not permissible for him to do it.
The third condition: That he be likely to be accepted, meaning he is likely to be accepted if he proposes. If he is likely to be rejected, it is not permissible for him to look. Why? Because the looking here has no benefit, as the benefit is to move forward in asking for the woman and then being accepted. If he knows that he will not be accepted, it is not permissible. An example of this is what is well-known among the tribes, especially the Bedouin tribes, that they cannot marry a person who is not from their tribe. So here, if he wants to propose to their daughter, it is not permissible for him to look. Why? Because it is likely that he will not be accepted. Similarly, what some people do who claim to be nobles and to be of the lineage of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and they do not marry anyone but their own kind. This is undoubtedly a great error, and they are ignorant in this, but despite this, they insist on not marrying anyone except a noble. So this too, if someone who is not a noble proposes, it is not permissible for him to look, because it is likely that they will not accept him.
The fourth condition: That he not take pleasure in looking at the woman he intends to marry. Based on this condition, the looking is limited to the extent of the need. If he is satisfied with seeing her and she enters his heart, let him stop. This is because what is permitted for a need is limited to the extent of that need, and it is not permissible to exceed it. Taking pleasure in looking at her leads to continuing to look.
The scholars said the fifth condition: That he be safe from the arousal of desire. If he is not safe, it is not permissible to look. In this condition, there is some room for looking, because a person is not safe from every person who proposes to a woman he intends to marry; he may not be safe. It is correct to say: If he feels desire, he must stop. This is correct. As for being safe from its arousal, this is something that may not be realized. But when he feels it, he must stop out of fear of fitnah (trial, discord or temptation). If the conditions are met, looking is permissible.
Is it required that she be aware of the presence of the suitor or not? It is not required. So if he looks at her without her being aware of him, there is no harm. But if she is aware, is it permissible for her to come to him intentionally or not? It appears that in the early times, this was not possible, based on his saying: , and until recently, it was absolutely not possible. No one thought that the woman he intended to marry would come to him intentionally and deliberately. But now, people have expanded in this matter, and the woman he intends to marry comes to her suitor intentionally and deliberately. I think this is permissible, if Allah wills.
But is it permissible to talk to her at length or not? It appears that it is not permissible to talk to her at length either, because the purpose is only to inquire. So if he talks to her briefly, such that he knows her voice, for example, and knows her speech, that is sufficient. But if he talks to her at length, she is a stranger to him, so he should not talk to her.
Likewise, a fortiori, he should not talk to her by telephone, because it is likely that it is not free from pleasure. This conversation is not free from pleasure, whether it is pleasure in the conversation or pleasure of desire. Many people talk to the women they intend to marry, and perhaps they stay up all night, as they sometimes ask about this. The night passes and he is not aware of it. Why? Because of the strength of his heart's attachment to this conversation. This undoubtedly indicates that he is taking pleasure in the conversation. So blocking the door is better. It is said now: You have known her, you are satisfied with her, you have proposed to her, and she has accepted, so there is no need for conversation. If he says: I cannot control myself, as they say, this person says: I cannot, if I do not do this, I do not sleep at night. We say: Get married. The matter is simple. And if you get married, you can talk to her all night, there is no obstacle. This is the cure. But if he says: By Allah, I cannot and I am unable, and my chest tightens if I do not do it, then we do not allow him, because in reality, she is a stranger to him as long as he has not married her. She is the same as someone in the market, there is no difference. Can anyone hold a woman in the market and talk to her this conversation? It is not possible. So she is exactly like that.
So, from the benefits of this hadith: The nobility of the Islamic Shari'ah, where it is required of a person not to enter into a matter except with insight.
And from its benefits also: Blocking the door of anxiety and regret for a person. This is from the sound methodology of Islam that a person should not open for himself the door of anxiety and regret, because that disturbs him and ruins his life, and perhaps ruins his religion. For this reason, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said regarding the one who is afflicted with what he dislikes after doing the causes: from regret and sadness.
And this hadith: indicates that it is recommended for a person to block the door of sadness and regret for himself. This is because if he proposes to her with knowledge and insight, the regret is removed from him.
And from the benefits of this hadith: It forbids looking at women, based on his saying: . If looking at women had been permissible and had been the custom of the women of the Companions, a person would have been able to look, whether he was a suitor or not, and he is so. This is from the evidence that is cited for the obligation of a woman covering herself from foreign men.