Is it permissible for a man to propose to a woman and remain in the proposal for more than two or three years, and to look at her?
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The questioner : Is it permissible for a man to propose to a woman and remain in the proposal for more than two or three years, and to look at her?
The Shaykh : Looking at the woman to whom one has proposed is only for the sake of need. If he looks at her the first time and is satisfied with that look, whether he is pleased with her or not, he should act accordingly, and there is no need to repeat the look, for the person has already known whether to proceed or to refrain. As for his repeating the look without need, that is not permissible for him, because she is a non-mahram to him. As for his remaining for a year or two before contracting the marriage, that is a matter that returns to him and to the woman's family. And what I see is that it is befitting for a person not to contract the marriage except when the consummation is near, for there is no need to contract the marriage with a long time between the contract and the consummation. Perhaps his soul will be tempted in this state to have intercourse with the woman for whom he has contracted the marriage. And although this is permissible by the Shari'ah, there is fear of its consequences, for the woman may become pregnant before the publicly announced consummation, and thus she will be subjected to suspicion.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : Looking at the woman to whom one has proposed is only for the sake of need. If he looks at her the first time and is satisfied with that look, whether he is pleased with her or not, he should act accordingly, and there is no need to repeat the look, for the person has already known whether to proceed or to refrain. As for his repeating the look without need, that is not permissible for him, because she is a non-mahram to him. As for his remaining for a year or two before contracting the marriage, that is a matter that returns to him and to the woman's family. And what I see is that it is befitting for a person not to contract the marriage except when the consummation is near, for there is no need to contract the marriage with a long time between the contract and the consummation. Perhaps his soul will be tempted in this state to have intercourse with the woman for whom he has contracted the marriage. And although this is permissible by the Shari'ah, there is fear of its consequences, for the woman may become pregnant before the publicly announced consummation, and thus she will be subjected to suspicion.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.