A wife who swears false oaths and insults her husband's mother and brothers: What is your advice for this wife?
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The questioner : A wife who swears false oaths and insults her husband's mother and brothers: What is your advice for this wife?
The Shaykh : My advice to this wife is to have good manners with her husband's mother, because that increases her husband's satisfaction with her and increases his kindness in his treatment of her, and she will be rewarded for that. If the relationship between the wife and her husband's mother, or his father, or his relatives becomes bad, the general outcome is that the relationship between the woman and her husband also becomes bad, making their life difficult. Perhaps children will be born between the two, and it will be distressing for them to see their mother and father in this state. So my advice to the wife is to be patient, to seek reward from Allah, and to be kind to her husband's mother, his father, and any relatives she holds dear. I also advise some husbands who want their wives to be servants to their mothers; this is a pure mistake. The wife is not a servant to the husband's mother or father. Serving them is a favor and kindness on her part, not an obligation. As for serving her husband, that depends on custom. What custom dictates that she should serve her husband in, she is obligated to serve him in; and what custom does not dictate, she is not obligated to do. It is not permissible for the husband to compel his wife to serve his mother or father, or to be angry with her if she does not do so. He should fear Allah and not use his strength against her weakness, for Allah the Exalted is above him, and He is the Most High, the Great (Mighty and Majestic). Allah the Exalted said:[An-Nisa 4:34]. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : My advice to this wife is to have good manners with her husband's mother, because that increases her husband's satisfaction with her and increases his kindness in his treatment of her, and she will be rewarded for that. If the relationship between the wife and her husband's mother, or his father, or his relatives becomes bad, the general outcome is that the relationship between the woman and her husband also becomes bad, making their life difficult. Perhaps children will be born between the two, and it will be distressing for them to see their mother and father in this state. So my advice to the wife is to be patient, to seek reward from Allah, and to be kind to her husband's mother, his father, and any relatives she holds dear. I also advise some husbands who want their wives to be servants to their mothers; this is a pure mistake. The wife is not a servant to the husband's mother or father. Serving them is a favor and kindness on her part, not an obligation. As for serving her husband, that depends on custom. What custom dictates that she should serve her husband in, she is obligated to serve him in; and what custom does not dictate, she is not obligated to do. It is not permissible for the husband to compel his wife to serve his mother or father, or to be angry with her if she does not do so. He should fear Allah and not use his strength against her weakness, for Allah the Exalted is above him, and He is the Most High, the Great (Mighty and Majestic). Allah the Exalted said:
But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إن اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًاThe questioner : May Allah reward you, O Shaykh.