What is the form of condolence? Is it permissible to offer condolences to anyone other than the deceased's family? What is its ruling? Is shaking hands and kissing permissible in this context?

The questioner : May Allah reward you.

The Shaykh : Yes?

The questioner : What is the form of condolence? Is it permissible to offer condolences to anyone other than the close relatives of the deceased, such as his colleagues or neighbors?
Is kissing or shaking hands during condolence prescribed?
Is it permissible to offer condolences by telephone or by going to the home of the one being consoled?
Is the saying: "Condolence is for the bereaved" a hadith?
And what is its meaning?

The Shaykh : These are six questions!

The questioner : Connected, O Shaykh.

The Shaykh : Six questions in one question. Well, condolence is a confirmed sunnah for the bereaved, whether from a relative, a friend, a colleague, or otherwise.
The meaning of condolence is to strengthen the bereaved to bear what has befallen him of what is disliked. This is condolence. From it comes the word "al-azaz," meaning hardness. So it is as if you are hardening this man and strengthening him so that he does not become soft before this calamity, but rather remains strong. So whenever you see someone struck by a loss of wealth, or the loss of a loved one, or illness in him, or otherwise, you offer him condolence.
And the best formula for condolence is what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to console one of his daughters with, where he said to the messenger she sent to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him): This is the best that can be. And he may say a suitable supplication, such as what is well-known among people today: "May Allah magnify your reward, improve your consolation, and forgive your deceased" or other suitable supplication.
As for kissing and shaking hands, they are not among the sunnahs of condolence, unless this is the first time you have met him, in which case you shake his hand, because shaking hands is prescribed upon meeting. But to make it a sunnah as one of the sunnahs of condolence, that is an innovation, because whoever draws near to Allah with something He has not prescribed is an innovator.
As for its place, it has no specific place. Any place where you find the bereaved and feel that he is bereaved, you offer him condolence.
As for its time, it was said that it is limited to three days from the occurrence of the calamity, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): , but there is a point of consideration in using this hadith as evidence, because the hadith is about mourning (i'dad) and not about condolence.
And the correct view is that condolence is prescribed as long as the calamity remains. If he forgets it, or it is seen that he is not bereaved to that extent, then he is not offered condolence.
But is condolence repeated?
Meaning, if you offered him condolence today and then saw him the next day, do you repeat the condolence to him?
I say: if a reason is found, then yes. For example, if you offered him condolence today and came to him the next day and found the man still sad, and still crying, for example, then I say to him: O my brother, fear Allah the Exalted and Majestic, and do not harm the deceased, but this is not torment as a punishment, but torment of pain and distress of soul, and the like. Yes, so the conclusion is: that it is not specific to one person, but rather it includes every bereaved person, and it is not specific to a place, and it is not specific to a time, as long as the effect of the calamity remains, then offer him condolence. As for repeating it, as you know: if the need calls for it, otherwise do not repeat it.

The questioner : One offers condolence by telephone.

The Shaykh : Yes?

The questioner : With what does one offer condolence?

The Shaykh : With whatever it may be, condolence by telephone or by writing or by anything.

The questioner : Going to the house?

The Shaykh : No, I do not see going to them in the house, because Jarir ibn Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) says: Unless he is a very close relative, and you fear that if you do not go, it will be considered cutting off family ties, then that is another matter.