When someone dies among us, we gather at the deceased's place or in the home of one of his relatives for three days. When someone comes to offer condolences, he joins his hands and recites the chapter of al-Ikhlas seven or ten times, then turns his hands over to the ground and says, "O Allah, forgive him and have mercy on him." Then he extends his hands and recites the chapter of al-Fatihah, then wipes his face. What is the ruling on this matter?
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The questioner : When a person dies among us, we gather at the deceased's place or in the home of one of his relatives for three days. When someone comes to offer condolences, he joins his hands and recites the chapter of al-Ikhlas seven or ten times, then turns his hands over to the ground and says, "O Allah, forgive him and have mercy on him." Then he extends his hand a second time, recites the chapter of al-Fatihah, and wipes his face. What is the ruling on doing this? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : Gathering for condolences is a disliked innovation. If feeding the gatherers accompanies it, it becomes part of wailing. Jarir ibn Abdullah al-Bajali (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "They considered gathering with the family of the deceased and preparing food to be part of wailing".
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), his righteous successors, and his guided Companions, as far as we know, never gathered to receive those offering condolences. The most that happened was that when the news of the death of Ja'far ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) came, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said:Sunan Ibn Majah 1610Hasan (Darussalam) And Ali ibn Abi Talib, who was his brother, did not gather with the family of Ja'far, nor did the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), who was his cousin, nor any of their relatives, as far as we know. They did not gather with the family of Ja'far to eat from this food. There is no doubt that the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), and that the worst of matters are their innovations.
Offering condolences is an act of worship, and worship must be in accordance with what the Shari'ah has brought. Some scholars have explicitly stated that gathering is an innovation, and our Hanbali jurists (may Allah have mercy on them) have explicitly stated in their books that gathering is disliked. Some scholars have forbidden it.
You would be amazed in some countries that when someone dies, they set up long, wide tents with many bright lights and chairs, with people coming in and going out as if they were at a wedding feast or worse. Who said this? Who did this?
Do we not have a good example in Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), the Messenger of Allah, and those with him? They are the example. For this reason, Allah has saved some countries from this costly innovation, which destroys time and tires the bodies, to the extent that they come from the far corners of the country to this gathering. Glory be to Allah, if this had been prescribed as obligatory or recommended, you would have seen it as a burden on souls. But because it is something that Allah and His Messenger did not command, it became easy on souls, so you find people coming from far away to gather with the family of the deceased.
As for what the questioner mentioned regarding reciting al-Fatihah and the chapter of al-Ikhlas and these dhikr, they do not increase the matter in severity and do not increase its distance from the Sunnah; rather, they are an innovation.
If someone says, "If you deny this, how do we offer condolences to people?" The answer is: Offering condolences is not obligatory such that we say it is necessary and a dire necessity. Offering condolences is a recommended practice, and it is not done except for the bereaved person whom we know is affected by the death of this deceased. We go to him without him opening the door and gathering people. We go to him if he is one of our relatives whom we must visit, and if we did not go, it would be said, "This person is cutting off ties." We go to him and say, "My brother! Fear Allah, be patient, and count it as a reward." I say: We go to him, but this is not on the basis of recommendation, rather it is out of fear of the disgrace of cutting off ties. Otherwise, look, the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) was sent to by one of his daughters to inform him that a child of hers, a boy or a girl, was on the verge of death. The messenger of the woman came to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) to inform him and ask him to come. The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him:Sahih al-Bukhari 7377 Then the messenger returned and said, "She is insisting that you come." So the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) went to her and did not stay. But because people now have the custom that close relatives must come to offer condolences to the family of the deceased, leaving this off may be considered cutting off family ties, and a person may become a target for tongues. So he goes to ward off the consequences of backbiting. His coming here is not on the basis that this is a voluntary act commanded, but on the basis that it is merely warding off harm, without opening the door for people to come in and go out. No, I am his relative, I am his brother, I am his cousin, I am his uncle, I am his maternal uncle, the close relative. Go to the house, ask permission, enter, close the door, and talk with them if you see that they are greatly affected.
Sometimes the family of the deceased is not affected by the deceased for any reason, and this is not a place for mentioning or giving examples, but sometimes you do not find them affected. These people are not offered condolences, because the meaning of offering condolences is to strengthen the bereaved in bearing the calamity. This is the meaning of offering condolences.
So the result is that we ask Allah the Exalted to guide us and our Muslim brothers to what is good and righteous.
The questioner : Shaykh Muhammad, is the telephone sufficient for that?
The Shaykh : The telephone is sufficient for that, for those who do not consider it their right that you come to them in person, such as the close relatives we mentioned earlier.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good, O honorable Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Gathering for condolences is a disliked innovation. If feeding the gatherers accompanies it, it becomes part of wailing. Jarir ibn Abdullah al-Bajali (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "They considered gathering with the family of the deceased and preparing food to be part of wailing".
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family), his righteous successors, and his guided Companions, as far as we know, never gathered to receive those offering condolences. The most that happened was that when the news of the death of Ja'far ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) came, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said:
Prepare food for the family of Ja’far, for there has come to them that which is keeping them busy
اصنعوا لآل جعفر طعاماً، فقد آتاهم ما يشغلهمOffering condolences is an act of worship, and worship must be in accordance with what the Shari'ah has brought. Some scholars have explicitly stated that gathering is an innovation, and our Hanbali jurists (may Allah have mercy on them) have explicitly stated in their books that gathering is disliked. Some scholars have forbidden it.
You would be amazed in some countries that when someone dies, they set up long, wide tents with many bright lights and chairs, with people coming in and going out as if they were at a wedding feast or worse. Who said this? Who did this?
Do we not have a good example in Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), the Messenger of Allah, and those with him? They are the example. For this reason, Allah has saved some countries from this costly innovation, which destroys time and tires the bodies, to the extent that they come from the far corners of the country to this gathering. Glory be to Allah, if this had been prescribed as obligatory or recommended, you would have seen it as a burden on souls. But because it is something that Allah and His Messenger did not command, it became easy on souls, so you find people coming from far away to gather with the family of the deceased.
As for what the questioner mentioned regarding reciting al-Fatihah and the chapter of al-Ikhlas and these dhikr, they do not increase the matter in severity and do not increase its distance from the Sunnah; rather, they are an innovation.
If someone says, "If you deny this, how do we offer condolences to people?" The answer is: Offering condolences is not obligatory such that we say it is necessary and a dire necessity. Offering condolences is a recommended practice, and it is not done except for the bereaved person whom we know is affected by the death of this deceased. We go to him without him opening the door and gathering people. We go to him if he is one of our relatives whom we must visit, and if we did not go, it would be said, "This person is cutting off ties." We go to him and say, "My brother! Fear Allah, be patient, and count it as a reward." I say: We go to him, but this is not on the basis of recommendation, rather it is out of fear of the disgrace of cutting off ties. Otherwise, look, the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) was sent to by one of his daughters to inform him that a child of hers, a boy or a girl, was on the verge of death. The messenger of the woman came to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) to inform him and ask him to come. The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him:
So order her to be patient and hope for Allah's reward.
مرها فلتصبر ولتحتسب فإن لله ما أخذ وله ما أعطى، وكل شيء عنده بأجل مسمىSometimes the family of the deceased is not affected by the deceased for any reason, and this is not a place for mentioning or giving examples, but sometimes you do not find them affected. These people are not offered condolences, because the meaning of offering condolences is to strengthen the bereaved in bearing the calamity. This is the meaning of offering condolences.
So the result is that we ask Allah the Exalted to guide us and our Muslim brothers to what is good and righteous.
The questioner : Shaykh Muhammad, is the telephone sufficient for that?
The Shaykh : The telephone is sufficient for that, for those who do not consider it their right that you come to them in person, such as the close relatives we mentioned earlier.
The questioner : May Allah reward you with good, O honorable Shaykh.