A man has disputes with his wife, so he sent a message stating that she is divorced and that her presence in the house is forbidden, then he regretted it. He has three children. Is it permissible for him to take her back?
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The questioner : Due to a misunderstanding that occurred between me and my wife, I sent her a message informing her that she is divorced and that your presence in the house is forbidden. After a period of time, I felt regret and thought about the consequences of the divorce. Please note that I have three children from her. What is required of me to take her back? Please advise us, and may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh : Yes, if she is still in the waiting period and you have not previously divorced her twice, the way to take her back is to have two witnesses testify that you have taken back your wife, so-and-so. And if you return to your home, you owe an expiation for an oath, because you forbade her presence in the house, and prohibition carries the ruling of an oath, as Allah Blessed and Exalted is He said:[At-Tahrim 66:1-2].
However, if this is the third divorce, she is separated from you and does not become lawful to you again except after marrying another husband. But if your anger is so intense that you cannot control yourself because of it, then there is no divorce upon you, whether this is the third divorce or one before it.
And I advise you not to be quick to anger or highly emotional, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to a man who asked, "Advise me, O Messenger of Allah," and he said:Sahih al-Bukhari 6116 Therefore, a person should control himself when angry. If he feels anger, let him say, "I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan." Then, if he is standing, let him sit; if he is sitting, let him lie down; and let him perform ablution. Indeed, that will remove his anger and rage, if Allah wills.
The Shaykh : Yes, if she is still in the waiting period and you have not previously divorced her twice, the way to take her back is to have two witnesses testify that you have taken back your wife, so-and-so. And if you return to your home, you owe an expiation for an oath, because you forbade her presence in the house, and prohibition carries the ruling of an oath, as Allah Blessed and Exalted is He said:
(1) O Prophet, why do you prohibit [yourself from] what Allah has made lawful for you, seeking the approval of your wives? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. (2) Allah has already ordained for you [Muslims] the dissolution of your oaths
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ لِمَ تُحَرِّمُ مَا أَحَلَّ اللَّهُ لَكَ تَبْتَغِي مَرْضَاةَ أَزْوَاجِكَ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ * قَدْ فَرَضَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ تَحِلَّةَ أَيْمَانِكُمْHowever, if this is the third divorce, she is separated from you and does not become lawful to you again except after marrying another husband. But if your anger is so intense that you cannot control yourself because of it, then there is no divorce upon you, whether this is the third divorce or one before it.
And I advise you not to be quick to anger or highly emotional, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to a man who asked, "Advise me, O Messenger of Allah," and he said: