What is the ruling on one who argues with his father whenever he sees him violating the limits of Allah or mocking matters of religion, yet he is dutiful to him?
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The questioner : What is the ruling on one who argues with his father whenever he sees him violating the limits of Allah or mocking matters of religion, yet he is dutiful to him and provides for him everything he needs? We ask you to provide us with information.
The Shaykh : I say: If he reprimands his father for the sins he commits, which may lead to disbelief, such as mocking religion, then this is part of his dutifulness to his father, because it is enjoining good and forbidding evil. The people you are most entitled to enjoin good upon and forbid evil are your father and your mother, because they are the closest people to you, and because you are a part of them.
The messengers (peace and blessings be upon them) used to speak with their fathers about leaving evil and doing good, but it should be done in a good manner that does not wound the heart of any of them. Listen to the dialogue that took place between Ibrahim al-Khalil (peace and blessings be upon him) and his father in Surat Maryam, where he said:[Maryam 19:42-45] to the end of the story. You will find gentle words from Ibrahim (peace and blessings be upon him) to his father.
So, regarding your father, if you want to advise him about the sins he is committing, let it be done with respect, gentleness, and softness, because the father sees that he has a right over you and that he is older than you, and he is indeed older than you and has a right over you. Even Allah the Exalted said:[Luqman 31:15] meaning, if they strive to make you associate partners with Allah, do not obey them, but treat them in this world with kindness.
And the Exalted said:[Al-Isra 17:23] So, you are not to be blamed if you advise your father, but let it be done with gentleness and softness so that the intended result is achieved. This is not undutifulness to parents, but this is dutifulness. Indeed, the greatest gift a person gives to his father and mother is that he enjoins good upon them and forbids evil, but with proper conduct and respect.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : I say: If he reprimands his father for the sins he commits, which may lead to disbelief, such as mocking religion, then this is part of his dutifulness to his father, because it is enjoining good and forbidding evil. The people you are most entitled to enjoin good upon and forbid evil are your father and your mother, because they are the closest people to you, and because you are a part of them.
The messengers (peace and blessings be upon them) used to speak with their fathers about leaving evil and doing good, but it should be done in a good manner that does not wound the heart of any of them. Listen to the dialogue that took place between Ibrahim al-Khalil (peace and blessings be upon him) and his father in Surat Maryam, where he said:
(42) [Mention] when he said to his father, "O my father, why do you worship that which does not hear and does not see and will not benefit you at all? (43) O my father, indeed there has come to me of knowledge that which has not come to you, so follow me; I will guide you to an even path. (44) O my father, do not worship Satan. Indeed Satan has ever been, to the Most Merciful, disobedient. (45) O my father, indeed I fear that there will touch you a punishment from the Most Merciful so you would be to Satan a companion [in Hellfire]."
يَا أَبَتِ لِمَ تَعْبُدُ مَا لا يَسْمَعُ وَلا يُبْصِرُ وَلا يُغْنِي عَنْكَ شيئاً * يَا أَبَتِ إِنِّي قَدْ جَاءَنِي مِنَ الْعِلْمِ مَا لَمْ يَأْتِكَ فَاتَّبِعْنِي أَهْدِكَ صِرَاطًا سَوِيًّا * يَا أَبَتِ لا تَعْبُدِ الشَّيْطَانَ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ كَانَ لِلرَّحْمَنِ عَصِيًّا * يَا أَبَتِ إِنِّي أَخَافُ أَنْ يَمَسَّكَ عَذَابٌ مِنَ الرَّحْمَنِ فَتَكُونَ لِلشَّيْطَانِ وَلِيًّاSo, regarding your father, if you want to advise him about the sins he is committing, let it be done with respect, gentleness, and softness, because the father sees that he has a right over you and that he is older than you, and he is indeed older than you and has a right over you. Even Allah the Exalted said:
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them
وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلا تُطِعْهُمَاAnd the Exalted said:
Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.
إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًاThe questioner : May Allah bless you.