A man has two wives, one obedient and the other defiant; is it permissible for him to boycott the defiant one and stay with the obedient one?
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The questioner : In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
May Allah reward you with the best reward, O honorable Shaykh. A man has two wives; the first is obedient and the second is defiant. He asks: Should I boycott the second one until she behaves properly, and go to sleep with the first one?
The Shaykh : Yes, the second one, who is defiant, is considered a wife in a state of marital defiance if she is defiant in what is obligatory upon her. And Allah (Mighty and Majestic) said:[An-Nisa 4:34] This is the first rank. [An-Nisa 4:34] This is the second rank. The verse is general, applying to one who has two wives or one wife. He may boycott the defiant wife until her conduct improves.
And if he sees a method better than boycotting, that is better. But the poet says:
"If the only vessel is a lance, *** then the only recourse of the desperate is to ride it".
Yes.
May Allah reward you with the best reward, O honorable Shaykh. A man has two wives; the first is obedient and the second is defiant. He asks: Should I boycott the second one until she behaves properly, and go to sleep with the first one?
The Shaykh : Yes, the second one, who is defiant, is considered a wife in a state of marital defiance if she is defiant in what is obligatory upon her. And Allah (Mighty and Majestic) said:
But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them
وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّMen are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِand strike them
وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّAnd if he sees a method better than boycotting, that is better. But the poet says:
"If the only vessel is a lance, *** then the only recourse of the desperate is to ride it".
Yes.