A questioner says: I am a young man of marriageable age, and I have a cousin on my mother’s side, meaning her mother is my mother’s sister. I and this girl have lived in the same house since childhood.
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The questioner : A questioner says: I am a young man of marriageable age, and I have a cousin on my mother’s side, meaning her mother is my mother’s sister. I and this girl have lived in the same house since childhood until now. My mother has insisted that I marry this girl. Is this permissible or not? Please inform us. May Allah reward you with the best reward.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions. This brother says that he has a cousin on his mother’s side with whom he has lived since childhood, and that his mother has insisted that he marry her. Is this permissible? We say: If your question is whether this is permissible for your mother, meaning is it permissible for a mother to insist that you marry this girl when you do not want to, then the answer to this is that we say it is not befitting for a mother to do this.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And to insist that her son marry a woman he does not want, because that is not in the interest of everyone. If a man marries someone he does not desire, the most likely outcome is that the required harmony between them will not be achieved. However, if the question is whether this is permissible for you, meaning is it permissible to marry a woman with whom you have grown up since childhood, we say there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with marrying her, even if you and she have been in the same house since childhood.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Because that does not make marriage forbidden between you two. But if you do not love her and only want to marry her out of politeness, then we advise that the mother should refrain from insisting on the marriage with her, so that you may marry a woman toward whom you are more inclined than you are toward this one.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And if she insists and refuses anything else, and you seek help from Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and marry her, obeying your mother and intending to be dutiful to her, then we hope that good will be for you, if Allah wills.
The questioner : If Allah wills.
This message is also from Al-Mukhayyah, and I believe the sender of the message is from the same town, and they agreed because the handwriting is the same. It says: M. A. S.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions. This brother says that he has a cousin on his mother’s side with whom he has lived since childhood, and that his mother has insisted that he marry her. Is this permissible? We say: If your question is whether this is permissible for your mother, meaning is it permissible for a mother to insist that you marry this girl when you do not want to, then the answer to this is that we say it is not befitting for a mother to do this.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And to insist that her son marry a woman he does not want, because that is not in the interest of everyone. If a man marries someone he does not desire, the most likely outcome is that the required harmony between them will not be achieved. However, if the question is whether this is permissible for you, meaning is it permissible to marry a woman with whom you have grown up since childhood, we say there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with marrying her, even if you and she have been in the same house since childhood.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Because that does not make marriage forbidden between you two. But if you do not love her and only want to marry her out of politeness, then we advise that the mother should refrain from insisting on the marriage with her, so that you may marry a woman toward whom you are more inclined than you are toward this one.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And if she insists and refuses anything else, and you seek help from Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and marry her, obeying your mother and intending to be dutiful to her, then we hope that good will be for you, if Allah wills.
The questioner : If Allah wills.
This message is also from Al-Mukhayyah, and I believe the sender of the message is from the same town, and they agreed because the handwriting is the same. It says: M. A. S.