A woman who has no desire for her husband, whose problems with him are constant and numerous, but who does not want to seek divorce because she has many children and does not want to
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The questioner : Remember that she is a woman who has no desire for her husband, so her problems with him are constant and numerous. She says, "But I do not want to seek divorce because I have a considerable number of children, what Allah willed. I do not want to have any more children from him that would burden us with instability and frequent problems. I have waived my right to my turn (one day and one night) and the private matters between us. He is married to another woman, but he said, 'I want my rights.' What do you advise me? And am I entitled to prevent him from having access to me because I have no desire for him?"
The Shaykh : It is not permissible for a woman to refuse when her husband calls her, for it is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that if a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses to come, the angels curse her until morning. It is obligatory for her to respond to his call, even if she does not have that desire.
As for seeking divorce, what she did is good, meaning that she is patient with his bad treatment and seeks reward from Allah for the sake of the children between them. This is an action for which she is truly to be thanked. We thank her and ask Allah to make her steadfast. And the man must be just between his wives in everything in which he can be just, such as financial maintenance, staying with the wife, being relaxed, having an open heart, and showing a pleasant face to the extent he is able, due to the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sunan Abi Dawud 2133Sahih (Al-Albani) We ask Allah for safety.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O honorable Shaykh, and may Allah bless you and your knowledge, and benefit Islam and the Muslims through you.
The Shaykh : It is not permissible for a woman to refuse when her husband calls her, for it is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that if a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses to come, the angels curse her until morning. It is obligatory for her to respond to his call, even if she does not have that desire.
As for seeking divorce, what she did is good, meaning that she is patient with his bad treatment and seeks reward from Allah for the sake of the children between them. This is an action for which she is truly to be thanked. We thank her and ask Allah to make her steadfast. And the man must be just between his wives in everything in which he can be just, such as financial maintenance, staying with the wife, being relaxed, having an open heart, and showing a pleasant face to the extent he is able, due to the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.
من كانت له امرأتان فمال إلى إحداهما جاء يوم القيامة وشقّه مائلThe questioner : May Allah reward you, O honorable Shaykh, and may Allah bless you and your knowledge, and benefit Islam and the Muslims through you.