A woman says: I have been married for four years, and after seven months of my marriage, a disagreement occurred between me and my husband, where he asked me to go with him, but I refused except
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The questioner : She is mentioned as a girl who is twenty-two years old and has been married for four years. She says: My problem is that after seven months of my marriage, a disagreement occurred between me and my husband. He asked me to go with him, but I refused except after I completed my studies in the same area where I live. After that, he went to the area where he lives. Please note that he was married to a woman before me who lives with him, and he has older children. It has now been four years without him contacting us, so a relative informed us that he does not want me, but rather that he wants to return his right, and the amount of the mahr is one hundred thousand riyals. He said: He will not send the divorce papers until he recovers the mentioned amount. Your Eminence, the Shaykh! If I complain to the court, will we have to return any of his right to him, or what? Please note that if he asks me to go with him now, I will go. What do you direct me to do? May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : It is very regrettable that the woman mentions that her mahr was one hundred thousand, for this is a large increase that causes problems between the spouses. This is because exaggeration and overpricing in the bridal gift is contrary to the Sunnah, for the Sunnah is to lighten the bridal gift. The lighter the bridal gift, the more blessed the marriage. Indeed, the most blessed marriage is the one with the least expense.
Exaggeration in mahr causes many problems, among which is that it harms the husband, and he may need to borrow from others, and debts accumulate on him. If it happens that problems arise between him and the wife or her family, it becomes difficult for them to extract her from this husband and rescue her from him, because the husband has spent a great deal. It is not possible for him to part with the woman for whom he spent a great deal except by returning that great deal to him, as in this example.
If people had limited themselves to the modest amount that covers the cost of preparing the woman for her husband and what is connected to it, such as the wedding feast and the like, within the limit of twenty thousand, and this is relative to our current time when money has become abundant in our hands. However, if it were otherwise and money were scarce among people, then twenty thousand would be considered a lot and an exaggeration. But I say: Considering our current financial situation, which is, praise be to Allah, high or moderate.
As for if people face hardship, then the mahr should also be lowered. Indeed, the mahr should be lowered according to what people can afford. For this reason, or because of the fact that the wife's family wants money, many women are now prevented from marriage, and many young men are prevented as well. Some young men now try to marry from abroad, and in this are problems that only Allah, Mighty and Majestic, knows.
The conclusion is that we advise our Muslim brothers against exaggeration in mahr, and we say: The Sunnah is to lighten the mahr, and it is one of the causes of the blessing of the marriage and one of the causes of the ease of separation if problems occur between them.
As for this case that the woman mentioned, I have no answer for it because her matter returns to the court.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O honorable Shaykh, and may Allah bless you and your knowledge, and benefit the Muslims through you.
The Shaykh : It is very regrettable that the woman mentions that her mahr was one hundred thousand, for this is a large increase that causes problems between the spouses. This is because exaggeration and overpricing in the bridal gift is contrary to the Sunnah, for the Sunnah is to lighten the bridal gift. The lighter the bridal gift, the more blessed the marriage. Indeed, the most blessed marriage is the one with the least expense.
Exaggeration in mahr causes many problems, among which is that it harms the husband, and he may need to borrow from others, and debts accumulate on him. If it happens that problems arise between him and the wife or her family, it becomes difficult for them to extract her from this husband and rescue her from him, because the husband has spent a great deal. It is not possible for him to part with the woman for whom he spent a great deal except by returning that great deal to him, as in this example.
If people had limited themselves to the modest amount that covers the cost of preparing the woman for her husband and what is connected to it, such as the wedding feast and the like, within the limit of twenty thousand, and this is relative to our current time when money has become abundant in our hands. However, if it were otherwise and money were scarce among people, then twenty thousand would be considered a lot and an exaggeration. But I say: Considering our current financial situation, which is, praise be to Allah, high or moderate.
As for if people face hardship, then the mahr should also be lowered. Indeed, the mahr should be lowered according to what people can afford. For this reason, or because of the fact that the wife's family wants money, many women are now prevented from marriage, and many young men are prevented as well. Some young men now try to marry from abroad, and in this are problems that only Allah, Mighty and Majestic, knows.
The conclusion is that we advise our Muslim brothers against exaggeration in mahr, and we say: The Sunnah is to lighten the mahr, and it is one of the causes of the blessing of the marriage and one of the causes of the ease of separation if problems occur between them.
As for this case that the woman mentioned, I have no answer for it because her matter returns to the court.
The questioner : May Allah reward you, O honorable Shaykh, and may Allah bless you and your knowledge, and benefit the Muslims through you.