The ruling on accepting an invitation to a wedding feast.

The Shaykh : These are the feasts. As for accepting the invitation to a feast when a person is invited to it, the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) differed on whether it is obligatory to accept the invitation to every feast or not. The answer is: if the feast is forbidden, then accepting the invitation to it is forbidden, like the examples we mentioned first, unless the one accepting is able to change the evil. In that case, it is obligatory for him to attend, not to accept the invitation, but to change the evil. For example, if a man of scholarly standing or authority is invited to a feast containing what is forbidden, he attends, and he is able to change this forbidden matter. So attendance is obligatory upon him. Why? Because he is able to change the evil. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: And if he is not able, then accepting the invitation to the forbidden feast is forbidden. The evidence for this is the saying of the Exalted: and His saying: meaning that if you sit with them, you are like them in punishment and sin. Now, this is the forbidden case. Accepting the invitation to a permissible feast, the least of its states is that it is a recommended practice (sunnah). And the Zahiris, who are on a great deal of correctness, held that accepting the invitation is obligatory. So if a person invites you to a lunch or dinner that is not a wedding feast, the Zahiris say that accepting the invitation is obligatory; you must accept, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) regarding the rights of a Muslim over his brother: And because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: This view is very strong: that if you are invited, you accept. But if a person has an excuse, yes, we will complete this. Their evidence also includes that accepting the invitation is from the character of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), where he said, may Allah’s prayers and peace be upon him: up to this limit, a forearm or a shank, and it is the least desirable part of the slaughtered animal. If you accept, even if there were no blessing in accepting other than that it is from the character of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and that the one accepting will be emulating the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), even if that were the only blessing in accepting, it would be sufficient. And note, may Allah bless you, that if a person makes himself feel that he is following the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) in this or anything else, he will have love for the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and for emulating him in his heart. Just as if he accustoms himself to sincerity for Allah, sincerity will be his habit in everything. And this is a benefit that should not be hidden from you: to intend sincerity for Allah and following the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) in order to increase your righteous deeds and their blessing. A person, without doubt, strives in this world for what pleases Allah and His Messenger. So let him make himself feel, in every deed, sincerity for Allah and following the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). If someone invites you and you accept, occupy yourself with two things: first, obeying the command of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), based on the saying of the Exalted: Second, emulating him, because he says: It is clear that this is worth hundreds of fiqh issues. It is very important; a person finds therein rectitude, success, and joy in obedience if he occupies himself with sincerity for Allah and following the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). What remains for us is that we are now speaking about accepting. Accepting the invitation to the forbidden is obligatory. Regarding the permissible, we said that the scholars differed in it. The Zahiris hold that it is obligatory, and their view is not far from the truth, and we mentioned the evidence for that. And most scholars hold that accepting the invitation to something other than a wedding feast is not obligatory, but it is a recommended practice (sunnah). And on this, the scholars agreed on the permissibility of accepting the invitation, but they differed on whether one sins by leaving the acceptance or not. So what is the precaution? Accepting, so that a person is safe from sin according to the view of some scholars. So if you are invited, accept. But the scholars excluded from that the case where the invitation is out of shyness and embarrassment. In that case, it is not obligatory. If the invitation is out of shyness and embarrassment, it is not obligatory. How is it shyness and embarrassment? A person passes by you and you are standing at his door wanting to open it, and he says, "Please, share my lunch with me," or "share my dinner with me," or "share my coffee with me." Do you accept or not? You are standing at the door wanting to have lunch, and your colleague passes by and says, "Please, have lunch with me." Do you accept or not? Does he enter with you or turn away? What do you say?

The questioner : ... .

The Shaykh : If he is busy, he goes. If he is not busy, he enters. Now, a good detail: if you know that he only said that to you out of shyness and embarrassment—he was shy, passed by me while I was opening the door at lunchtime, and said to me, "Please"—if you know that he said this out of embarrassment and shyness, and deep down in his heart he does not want me to enter, do I enter? No, I do not enter. And how many people have experienced great embarrassment in such a situation. He said to a person, "Please," and that person was on the verge of [refusing], so he said, "May Allah increase your good," and entered. Yes, this person may find embarrassment, perhaps he wants to sleep and delay the lunch, or perhaps his lunch is little and not enough for him and those with him. And although this, perhaps Allah will send down blessing in it and it will suffice, but in any case, customs and decency. In any case, if you know that he said that to you out of shyness and embarrassment, then I do not accept, and I pray for him and say, "May Allah increase your good and may Allah reward you with good. I am busy." Is he really busy? Yes, every person is busy. I mean, this word cannot be a lie, ever. Why? Every person is busy, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): because every person is a harith or a himam. I am busy. Busy with what? Busy with myself. I go to have lunch in my house, or have lunch at another friend’s house, and the like. The important thing is that if you know that he only invited you out of shyness and embarrassment, then do not accept. But if you know that it is an invitation of love and friendship, and he wishes that you share his food with him, then here the acceptance, according to the disagreement, the least of its states is that it is a recommended practice (mustahabb). Accept. Now, so we have accepting that is forbidden and permissible. No, there is no permissible invitation that is neither forbidden nor obligatory or a recommended practice (sunnah). It may be disliked if there is something disliked in the place, but he is unable to change it. Then here, the acceptance is disliked, so that he does not meet these people in their dislike. The time is up. Now.