Ruling on Maintaining Ties with a Disobedient Relative
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Question:
After this, a message was sent by one of the listening brothers asking a collection of questions. He says, for example: Most of my very close relatives are arrogant. I maintain ties with them, but they cut them off. I give to them, but they withhold. They do not appreciate kindness. When we offer them advice, they do not accept it; they are arrogant toward the truth and belittle it. I do not know how to deal with them, and their gatherings are all backbiting and talebearing. I do not feel at ease sitting with them. I hope you will guide me, as I fear I may be exposed to sin. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
We advise you and urge you to continue offering advice, whether verbally or in writing. Also, encourage those who are expected to be affected by it and benefit from its advice to advise them, such as their uncles, maternal uncles, fathers, or mothers. This is based on the saying of Allah, the Exalted: [Al-Ma'idah: 2], and the saying of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) : [Al-Asr: 1-3], and the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): Sahih al-Bukhari 5991.
This is the one who maintains ties with them even if they cut them off, and who is kind to them even if they are unkind to him. In another hadith, a man came to him (peace and blessings be upon him)... a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allah! I have relatives whom I maintain ties with, but they cut me off. I am kind to them, but they are unkind to me. I am patient with them, but they are rude to me. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him: meaning: the religion Sahih Muslim 2558a. So you are like him, being kind while they are unkind to you. So you should be glad of good, be kind, and be patient. As long as you remain in this state, Allah will continue to give you support against them.
As for their gatherings, do not attend them if the gatherings contain what is wrong, such as backbiting, talebearing, and other wrongs. If you do attend, then forbid the evil. If they accept it from you, well and good; otherwise, leave.
The point is that you do not attend gatherings of evil. But if you do attend, then advise, guide, enjoin good, and forbid evil. If they accept it, well and good; otherwise, leave. Do not attend, do not stay. May Allah bless you and benefit through you.
The presenter : O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good, and may He do you good.
After this, a message was sent by one of the listening brothers asking a collection of questions. He says, for example: Most of my very close relatives are arrogant. I maintain ties with them, but they cut them off. I give to them, but they withhold. They do not appreciate kindness. When we offer them advice, they do not accept it; they are arrogant toward the truth and belittle it. I do not know how to deal with them, and their gatherings are all backbiting and talebearing. I do not feel at ease sitting with them. I hope you will guide me, as I fear I may be exposed to sin. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
We advise you and urge you to continue offering advice, whether verbally or in writing. Also, encourage those who are expected to be affected by it and benefit from its advice to advise them, such as their uncles, maternal uncles, fathers, or mothers. This is based on the saying of Allah, the Exalted:
cooperate in righteousness and piety
وَتَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْبِرِّ وَالتَّقْوَى(1) By time, (2) Indeed, mankind is in loss, (3) Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.
وَالْعَصْرِ إِنَّ الإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِAl-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him.
ليس الواصل بالمكافي، ولكن الواصل الذي إذا قطعت رحمه وصلهاThis is the one who maintains ties with them even if they cut them off, and who is kind to them even if they are unkind to him. In another hadith, a man came to him (peace and blessings be upon him)... a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allah! I have relatives whom I maintain ties with, but they cut me off. I am kind to them, but they are unkind to me. I am patient with them, but they are rude to me. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him:
If you are as you say, it is as if you are pouring molten lead upon them.
لئن كنت كما قلت لكأنما تسفهم الملthere would always remain with you on behalf of Allah (an Angel to support you) who would keep you dominant over them so long as you adhere to this (path of righteousness).
ولا يزال معك من الله عون عليهم ما دمت على ذلكAs for their gatherings, do not attend them if the gatherings contain what is wrong, such as backbiting, talebearing, and other wrongs. If you do attend, then forbid the evil. If they accept it from you, well and good; otherwise, leave.
The point is that you do not attend gatherings of evil. But if you do attend, then advise, guide, enjoin good, and forbid evil. If they accept it, well and good; otherwise, leave. Do not attend, do not stay. May Allah bless you and benefit through you.
The presenter : O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good, and may He do you good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.