The ruling on parents forcing their son to marry a girl he does not desire
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Question:
Is it part of dutifulness to parents to obey them in marrying a woman they have chosen for me, when I do not desire to marry her?
Answer:
Marriage requires desire. Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) says: [Surat al-Rum: 21]. So, if the woman you are being asked to marry is not suitable for you, you do not approve of her, and you do not desire her, you are not obligated to obey your parents in this matter. This is a matter that concerns you, and you know yourself best. It is not permissible for them to compel you to marry a woman you dislike. This is not permissible for them. Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) has made it obligatory for them to be just and fair. Therefore, they have no right to force you into something that harms you. You also are not obligated to obey your parents in anything other than what is right: Sunan Abi Dawud 2625Sahih (Al-Albani) It is not part of what is right to obey them in a woman you do not approve of and who is not suitable for you.
However, if you approve of her and she is suitable for you, and they wish for you to marry her, then this is good upon good. You should obey them, because it is an apparent benefit. But if it is a woman you do not approve of—whether due to her weak religion, her lack of beauty, or other reasons you know from yourself that you do not desire her, and you fear you will lose out without benefit—then you are not obligated, and it is not permissible for them to compel you. But you should try to please them with kind words and a good manner, so that they submit to your opinion and are satisfied with a suitable woman. We ask Allah for guidance for everyone.
The presenter : O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
Is it part of dutifulness to parents to obey them in marrying a woman they have chosen for me, when I do not desire to marry her?
Answer:
Marriage requires desire. Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) says:
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةًObedience is in matters which are good and universally recognized.
إنما الطاعة في المعروفHowever, if you approve of her and she is suitable for you, and they wish for you to marry her, then this is good upon good. You should obey them, because it is an apparent benefit. But if it is a woman you do not approve of—whether due to her weak religion, her lack of beauty, or other reasons you know from yourself that you do not desire her, and you fear you will lose out without benefit—then you are not obligated, and it is not permissible for them to compel you. But you should try to please them with kind words and a good manner, so that they submit to your opinion and are satisfied with a suitable woman. We ask Allah for guidance for everyone.
The presenter : O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.