What is the ruling on a woman speaking about her husband’s oppression of her son and his beating of him in gatherings of women?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: Peace be upon you.
The Shaykh: And upon you peace.
The questioner : The Shaykh :
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: Welcome, and by Allah, I want to ask you this question, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Please, go ahead.
The questioner: O Shaykh, can you hear me?
The Shaykh: I can hear you.
The questioner: Yes, I want to tell you about this son. I mean, his beginning was with some blessing, and he would go and come, meaning sometimes he would work. And his father did not thank Allah for the blessing Allah gave him. He would say, "Cut it off and cut his work," cutting off his work and his money, so that according to his means he could bring the money. If I say, "Alhamdulillah, from Allah, who is sufficient for his condition," at least, meaning, let him benefit us, let him be sufficient for his condition, let us thank Allah for what Allah gave us.
The Shaykh: Perfect.
The questioner: Yes, this thing became useful.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: Yes, then, O Shaykh, you say he kept putting his fists out.
The Shaykh: Putting out what?
The questioner: His fists, he kept killing him.
Another questioner: His father beats him, slaps him.
The questioner: He kept fighting him.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: He would punch him. If he ate, he would talk about him. If he went out, he would talk about him. If he said something, he would fight him. But I started to be jealous for him, jealous for the son.
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: Yes, I am jealous for him and stand with the son, because if he starts swearing oaths that you will not stay in this house, I do not know what it means. When he kills him sometimes, I cannot protect him from the oaths he swears. And you say, "I have small children and I have sons, and the house is full." But I was unable to go and hide him, do you see, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: Yes, you say the son grew up and took a sum of money, he became 28 years old. And then, meaning, you say another thing: "We married him, his work is unstable, sometimes he is trustworthy and sometimes he is not." And you say, "Because of this, his condition is such, and she saw his father putting out his fists." The girl went and hid him. The son’s mental capacity decreased further, and his father remained. Then he would kill her and kill him in front of her. At least, no, we cannot, meaning, in front of his wife and such. The point is, in any matter, he would keep fighting. The son lost consciousness completely. It became such that if he went out, sometimes until the next day he would return. And finally, the son went out and did not know where to go, except that he was run over and died, do you see? And then, I mean, in the present time, I keep speaking, do you hear me, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh: Yes, I hear you. What do you keep doing?
The questioner: Yes, I keep speaking about the thing his father did.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: I say, he beats him until his blood flows, and he keeps talking about him, meaning, in a gathering of women. I come and speak. Why?! Because of how much I am not restrained, meaning, I am crazy and I cry because of how much his father does not do anything. Meaning, is it haram for me to speak, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh: Now, are you living with your husband, this one who is his father?
The questioner: Yes, I am living.
The Shaykh: You are living together in one house.
The questioner: Yes, in one house.
The Shaykh: And when did the son die?
The questioner: Meaning, it has been twenty-nine days since his father.
The Shaykh: Twenty-nine days?!
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh: How old is the father?
The questioner: The father?
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: Sixty-seven, sixty-seven, something like that.
The Shaykh: And is he committed, holding fast to the religion?
The questioner: By Allah, he prays.
The Shaykh: He prays?
The questioner: He prays and fasts and travels for Hajj and speaks in the religion and keeps talking about the religion, but I tell you, since this son, no.
The Shaykh: Okay, why did he treat the son like this?
The questioner: That is it, from Allah.
The Shaykh: From Allah!
The questioner: The son is from Allah, meaning, if he eats, if he walks, if he sits, if he extends his hand for anything, he talks about him, do you see? And I started to be jealous for the son’s way, I am jealous for him, why does he treat him this treatment? And his end was that he was run over, oh my, on top of that, and he went out and was run over and died. And from the heat of the soul, I keep speaking about the treatment he kept giving him. And I tell you, I cannot bear his treatment, I cannot bear his madness, I cannot bear the house I am in. I do not want to tell you the truth, O Sir.
The Shaykh: Okay, do you not have any other children besides him?
The questioner: I have some.
The Shaykh: So then.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: I am advising you.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: That you be patient with the divine decree and destiny of Allah.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: And do not confront your husband with words.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh: Severe words that he cannot bear.
The questioner: But I am speaking about the thing he keeps doing, I tell him I cried.
The Shaykh: No, no.
The questioner: Yes, this is the thing I tell him.
The Shaykh: I understand, that is enough.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh :[Al-Ahzab 33:38] .
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: It is not permissible for you, every time you are angry, to sit and stir up the problem of the son.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh: You must be satisfied with the divine decree and destiny of Allah, and you must supplicate to Allah for your husband that Allah will improve his character, because it is apparent that his character is narrow.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh: So you must not have a character like his, it must not be narrow, you must be patient.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: And you must count your calamity with Allah (Mighty and Majestic).
The questioner: Yes, I am by Allah patient and bearing the thing he does, and I do not like to leave the house, meaning, I do not want anyone to know, but the people came to know and the neighbors, when this son would go out and his face would be bruised.
The Shaykh: That is enough, the son has gone to the mercy of Allah, if Allah wills. But you must now live with your husband a happy and satisfied life, and do not stir up problems between you and him because of the son whom Allah (Mighty and Majestic) took his trust.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh: This is my advice to you.
The questioner: I, O Shaykh, understand, and I know that death is a right for every person, and I say death is from Allah, meaning, but what did I tell you about the thing he kept doing and doing, and the son went out for three days and they did not know where he was.
The Shaykh: That is enough, that is enough, it is over. The command of Allah was executed, the matter is over. It is not up to you except to gird yourself with patience.
The questioner: Alhamdulillah, by Allah, I will remain patient in my condition and I will seek forgiveness from Allah and such, but a fire rises in my mind.
The Shaykh: No, no, strive yourself, may Allah bless you, strive yourself and your reward is with Allah.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And peace be upon you.
The questioner : Goodbye.
Another questioner: New words, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh: Yes, but they are eloquent Arabic words: "ash-tara" meaning, to be angry. I did not know from which country this dialect is?
The questioner: This is from al-Qatata.
The Shaykh : Hmm.
The questioner: From al-Qatata.
The Shaykh: Did she say that?
The questioner: No, but because there is one person from al-Qatata here too.
The Shaykh: Ha ha.
The questioner: I, O Shaykh, know this, meaning, what she said.
The Shaykh: The same woman, do you know her?
The questioner: Yes, I know her and I know her story from before she spoke.
The Shaykh: Where is she from, this one?
The questioner: She is from our country.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: Her husband is a Shaykh, as you say, he prays and performed Hajj, but he is irritable.
The Shaykh : That is it.
The questioner: Irritable, and this son, meaning, the sin of this son is on the neck of his father.
The Shaykh : Strange.
The questioner: Imagine that he was beating him with an iron pipe on his head.
The Shaykh: Allah is the Greatest, I seek refuge in Allah.
The questioner: An iron pipe, he was beating him with it on his head. And the son, before, meaning, before, he was seventeen years old, there was nothing wrong with him, his condition was good, and he worked and went and came, but with the excessive beating, he went mad.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner: So it was as if he lost his mind completely.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner: So before, about thirty days, as she said, twenty-nine days, he beat him a proper beating, meaning, so the son lost his mind.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner: He lost his mind on the road to Balama, I do not know where he was going, and the road to Balama is about forty kilometers away from Amman.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: And he was walking on the road, poor thing, from the heat of the soul, he wanted to ride. A man came at night, about ten o’clock at night, he came and wanted to run him over, he hit him, the son cut his hand.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner: And he opened half of his head, of course.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner: And the driver, and the driver until now his condition is critical in the hospital. So this is the meaning of her question, meaning, that when she sits among people, she keeps speaking and bringing up the story of the son. So is the speaking haram in this speaking or not? This is the meaning of the question.
The Shaykh: We commanded her to be patient. What is the benefit of stirring up problems in this house between him and his husband?
The questioner: Peace be upon you.
The Shaykh: And upon you peace.
The questioner : The Shaykh :
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: Welcome, and by Allah, I want to ask you this question, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : Please, go ahead.
The questioner: O Shaykh, can you hear me?
The Shaykh: I can hear you.
The questioner: Yes, I want to tell you about this son. I mean, his beginning was with some blessing, and he would go and come, meaning sometimes he would work. And his father did not thank Allah for the blessing Allah gave him. He would say, "Cut it off and cut his work," cutting off his work and his money, so that according to his means he could bring the money. If I say, "Alhamdulillah, from Allah, who is sufficient for his condition," at least, meaning, let him benefit us, let him be sufficient for his condition, let us thank Allah for what Allah gave us.
The Shaykh: Perfect.
The questioner: Yes, this thing became useful.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: Yes, then, O Shaykh, you say he kept putting his fists out.
The Shaykh: Putting out what?
The questioner: His fists, he kept killing him.
Another questioner: His father beats him, slaps him.
The questioner: He kept fighting him.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: He would punch him. If he ate, he would talk about him. If he went out, he would talk about him. If he said something, he would fight him. But I started to be jealous for him, jealous for the son.
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: Yes, I am jealous for him and stand with the son, because if he starts swearing oaths that you will not stay in this house, I do not know what it means. When he kills him sometimes, I cannot protect him from the oaths he swears. And you say, "I have small children and I have sons, and the house is full." But I was unable to go and hide him, do you see, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: Yes, you say the son grew up and took a sum of money, he became 28 years old. And then, meaning, you say another thing: "We married him, his work is unstable, sometimes he is trustworthy and sometimes he is not." And you say, "Because of this, his condition is such, and she saw his father putting out his fists." The girl went and hid him. The son’s mental capacity decreased further, and his father remained. Then he would kill her and kill him in front of her. At least, no, we cannot, meaning, in front of his wife and such. The point is, in any matter, he would keep fighting. The son lost consciousness completely. It became such that if he went out, sometimes until the next day he would return. And finally, the son went out and did not know where to go, except that he was run over and died, do you see? And then, I mean, in the present time, I keep speaking, do you hear me, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh: Yes, I hear you. What do you keep doing?
The questioner: Yes, I keep speaking about the thing his father did.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: I say, he beats him until his blood flows, and he keeps talking about him, meaning, in a gathering of women. I come and speak. Why?! Because of how much I am not restrained, meaning, I am crazy and I cry because of how much his father does not do anything. Meaning, is it haram for me to speak, O Shaykh?
The Shaykh: Now, are you living with your husband, this one who is his father?
The questioner: Yes, I am living.
The Shaykh: You are living together in one house.
The questioner: Yes, in one house.
The Shaykh: And when did the son die?
The questioner: Meaning, it has been twenty-nine days since his father.
The Shaykh: Twenty-nine days?!
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh: How old is the father?
The questioner: The father?
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: Sixty-seven, sixty-seven, something like that.
The Shaykh: And is he committed, holding fast to the religion?
The questioner: By Allah, he prays.
The Shaykh: He prays?
The questioner: He prays and fasts and travels for Hajj and speaks in the religion and keeps talking about the religion, but I tell you, since this son, no.
The Shaykh: Okay, why did he treat the son like this?
The questioner: That is it, from Allah.
The Shaykh: From Allah!
The questioner: The son is from Allah, meaning, if he eats, if he walks, if he sits, if he extends his hand for anything, he talks about him, do you see? And I started to be jealous for the son’s way, I am jealous for him, why does he treat him this treatment? And his end was that he was run over, oh my, on top of that, and he went out and was run over and died. And from the heat of the soul, I keep speaking about the treatment he kept giving him. And I tell you, I cannot bear his treatment, I cannot bear his madness, I cannot bear the house I am in. I do not want to tell you the truth, O Sir.
The Shaykh: Okay, do you not have any other children besides him?
The questioner: I have some.
The Shaykh: So then.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: I am advising you.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: That you be patient with the divine decree and destiny of Allah.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: And do not confront your husband with words.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh: Severe words that he cannot bear.
The questioner: But I am speaking about the thing he keeps doing, I tell him I cried.
The Shaykh: No, no.
The questioner: Yes, this is the thing I tell him.
The Shaykh: I understand, that is enough.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh :
And ever is the command of Allah a destiny decreed.
وَكَانَ أَمْرُ اللَّهِ قَدَرًا مَقْدُورًاThe questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: It is not permissible for you, every time you are angry, to sit and stir up the problem of the son.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh: You must be satisfied with the divine decree and destiny of Allah, and you must supplicate to Allah for your husband that Allah will improve his character, because it is apparent that his character is narrow.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh: So you must not have a character like his, it must not be narrow, you must be patient.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: And you must count your calamity with Allah (Mighty and Majestic).
The questioner: Yes, I am by Allah patient and bearing the thing he does, and I do not like to leave the house, meaning, I do not want anyone to know, but the people came to know and the neighbors, when this son would go out and his face would be bruised.
The Shaykh: That is enough, the son has gone to the mercy of Allah, if Allah wills. But you must now live with your husband a happy and satisfied life, and do not stir up problems between you and him because of the son whom Allah (Mighty and Majestic) took his trust.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh: This is my advice to you.
The questioner: I, O Shaykh, understand, and I know that death is a right for every person, and I say death is from Allah, meaning, but what did I tell you about the thing he kept doing and doing, and the son went out for three days and they did not know where he was.
The Shaykh: That is enough, that is enough, it is over. The command of Allah was executed, the matter is over. It is not up to you except to gird yourself with patience.
The questioner: Alhamdulillah, by Allah, I will remain patient in my condition and I will seek forgiveness from Allah and such, but a fire rises in my mind.
The Shaykh: No, no, strive yourself, may Allah bless you, strive yourself and your reward is with Allah.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : And peace be upon you.
The questioner : Goodbye.
Another questioner: New words, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh: Yes, but they are eloquent Arabic words: "ash-tara" meaning, to be angry. I did not know from which country this dialect is?
The questioner: This is from al-Qatata.
The Shaykh : Hmm.
The questioner: From al-Qatata.
The Shaykh: Did she say that?
The questioner: No, but because there is one person from al-Qatata here too.
The Shaykh: Ha ha.
The questioner: I, O Shaykh, know this, meaning, what she said.
The Shaykh: The same woman, do you know her?
The questioner: Yes, I know her and I know her story from before she spoke.
The Shaykh: Where is she from, this one?
The questioner: She is from our country.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: Her husband is a Shaykh, as you say, he prays and performed Hajj, but he is irritable.
The Shaykh : That is it.
The questioner: Irritable, and this son, meaning, the sin of this son is on the neck of his father.
The Shaykh : Strange.
The questioner: Imagine that he was beating him with an iron pipe on his head.
The Shaykh: Allah is the Greatest, I seek refuge in Allah.
The questioner: An iron pipe, he was beating him with it on his head. And the son, before, meaning, before, he was seventeen years old, there was nothing wrong with him, his condition was good, and he worked and went and came, but with the excessive beating, he went mad.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner: So it was as if he lost his mind completely.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner: So before, about thirty days, as she said, twenty-nine days, he beat him a proper beating, meaning, so the son lost his mind.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner: He lost his mind on the road to Balama, I do not know where he was going, and the road to Balama is about forty kilometers away from Amman.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: And he was walking on the road, poor thing, from the heat of the soul, he wanted to ride. A man came at night, about ten o’clock at night, he came and wanted to run him over, he hit him, the son cut his hand.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner: And he opened half of his head, of course.
The Shaykh: Allahu Akbar.
The questioner: And the driver, and the driver until now his condition is critical in the hospital. So this is the meaning of her question, meaning, that when she sits among people, she keeps speaking and bringing up the story of the son. So is the speaking haram in this speaking or not? This is the meaning of the question.
The Shaykh: We commanded her to be patient. What is the benefit of stirring up problems in this house between him and his husband?
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.