How to be dutiful to parents in life and after death
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Question:
Our brother asks and says: I hope you will clarify being dutiful to parents during their lives and after their deaths?
Answer:
Dutifulness to parents is among the most important obligations and duties, and Allah has commanded this in His Noble Book in many verses; among them is His saying, the Exalted: [Al-Nisa: 36], and among them is His saying (peace and blessings be upon him) in Surat al-Isra: [Al-Isra: 24], and among them is His saying, the Exalted, in Surat Luqman: [Luqman: 14]. Thus, being dutiful to them is among the most important duties, whether they are alive or dead:
So being dutiful to them in life: showing kindness to them and spending on them if they are in need, listening to and obeying them in what is good, lowering the wing of humility to them, not raising one's voice at them, and defending them in everything that harms them... and other forms of goodness.
And the summary is: that the child should be eager to bring good to them and ward off evil from them in life and death; because they have done great kindness to him in his youth, raising him and honoring him and toiling for him. So it is obligatory for him to reciprocate kindness with kindness and goodness with goodness. The mother's right is greater, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said when he was asked: It was said: O Messenger of Allah! Who is the most deserving of people of my good companionship? He said:. He said: Then who? He said: . He said: Then who? He said: . He said: Then who? He said: . And in another wording he said: O Messenger of Allah! Who is the most deserving of people of kindness? And in another wording he said: Who is the most dutiful, O Messenger of Allah? He said: . He said: Then who? He said: Your mother. He said: Then who? He said: . He said: Then who? He said: Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1897Hasan (Darussalam).
So he (peace and blessings be upon him) made clear that the most deserving of people of kindness and goodness is your mother three times, then your father in the fourth. And this obligates the child to care for the mother more and to be more complete in kindness to her, then the father follows her after that. So being dutiful to both and showing kindness to both is an obligatory matter, and the mother's right over the male and female child is greater and larger.
And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked about the right of parents after their death, so a questioner said to him: O Messenger of Allah! Is there any remaining kindness to my parents that I can do for them after their death? He said:Sunan Abi Dawud 5142Da'if (Al-Albani).
He mentioned five things: Supplication; and among that is the funeral prayer, for it is supplication, and praying for them with supplication and seeking mercy for them is among the most deserving of rights and among the best of kindness in life and death.
And likewise seeking forgiveness for them, meaning: asking Allah to forgive their sins. This is also part of being dutiful to them, whether they are alive or dead.
Sunan Abi Dawud 5142Da'if (Al-Albani) The bequest that they bequeath. So it is obligatory for the child, whether male or female, to carry it out if it is in accordance with the pure Shari'ah.
And the fourth trait: If your father or mother has friends, loved ones, and relatives, be kind to them and value their companionship with your parents and their friendship with your parents, and do not forget that. Do not forget that with kind words and kindness if they are in need of kindness, and all types of good that you are able to do. This is part of being dutiful to them after their death.
And the fifth trait: And that is by being kind to your paternal uncles and your father's relatives, and to your maternal uncles and aunts who are your mother's relatives. This is part of being kind to the parents. Being dutiful to the parents is that you are kind to your parents' relatives; the paternal uncles and aunts and their children... and the maternal uncles and aunts and their children. Being kind to them and maintaining ties with them, all of that is part of maintaining ties with the parents and honoring the parents. May Allah guide them all.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
Our brother asks and says: I hope you will clarify being dutiful to parents during their lives and after their deaths?
Answer:
Dutifulness to parents is among the most important obligations and duties, and Allah has commanded this in His Noble Book in many verses; among them is His saying, the Exalted:
Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good
وَاعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ وَلا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا(23) And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (24) And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًاBe grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.
أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُSo being dutiful to them in life: showing kindness to them and spending on them if they are in need, listening to and obeying them in what is good, lowering the wing of humility to them, not raising one's voice at them, and defending them in everything that harms them... and other forms of goodness.
And the summary is: that the child should be eager to bring good to them and ward off evil from them in life and death; because they have done great kindness to him in his youth, raising him and honoring him and toiling for him. So it is obligatory for him to reciprocate kindness with kindness and goodness with goodness. The mother's right is greater, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said when he was asked: It was said: O Messenger of Allah! Who is the most deserving of people of my good companionship? He said:
Your mother
أمكYour mother
أمكYour mother
أمكYour father.
أبوكYour mother
أمكYour mother
أمكyour father, then the nearest relatives, then the nearest relatives
أباك، ثم الأقرب فالأقربSo he (peace and blessings be upon him) made clear that the most deserving of people of kindness and goodness is your mother three times, then your father in the fourth. And this obligates the child to care for the mother more and to be more complete in kindness to her, then the father follows her after that. So being dutiful to both and showing kindness to both is an obligatory matter, and the mother's right over the male and female child is greater and larger.
And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked about the right of parents after their death, so a questioner said to him: O Messenger of Allah! Is there any remaining kindness to my parents that I can do for them after their death? He said:
Yes, you can invoke blessings on them, forgiveness for them, carry out their final instructions after their death, join ties of relationship which are dependent on them, and honour their friends.
نعم، الصلاة عليهما والاستغفار لهما، وإنفاذ عهدهما من بعدهما، وإكرام صديقهما، وصلة الرحم التي لا توصل إلا بهماHe mentioned five things:
Pray for them
الصلاة عليهماAnd likewise seeking forgiveness for them, meaning: asking Allah to forgive their sins. This is also part of being dutiful to them, whether they are alive or dead.
carry out their final instructions after their death
وإنفاذ عهدهما من بعدهماAnd the fourth trait:
Honoring their friend
إكرام صديقهماAnd the fifth trait:
Maintaining the kinship that is not maintained except through them
صلة الرحم الذي لا توصل إلا بهماThe presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.