Exegesis of the saying of Allah the Exalted: "And be kind to your parents," and an explanation of dutifulness to parents and how to be dutiful to them
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The Shaykh : Who are the parents? The parents are the mother and the father. Who is more deserving of good companionship? The mother, because How many times is this? Three times. He said: Sahih al-Bukhari 5971 The mother was given precedence in good companionship because the mother bore more burden than the father, is that not so? [Luqman 31:14] [Al-Ahqaf 46:15] Then she nursed him after that, staying awake for your sleep, toiling for your comfort, and enduring the long, cold nights for your sake. The father, without doubt, is pained by what pains you, but he is not like the mother. Now, how does one show kindness to the parents? I say: A person's treatment of his parents falls into three categories:
The first category: that he treats them badly, and this is undutifulness to parents.
The second: that he treats them well, and this is dutifulness to parents.
The third: that he is passive, neither treating them well nor badly. This is disobedience to the command to be kind to them. But do we say it is undutifulness to parents? We may say so, because you were commanded to be kind, so how can you not be kind?
And be kind to your parents
بالوالدين إحساناًThe Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked: "Who is the most deserving of my good companionship?" He said: "Your mother." He said: "Then who?" He said: "Your mother." He said: "Then who?" He said: "Your mother."
النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم سئل : من أحق الناس بحسن صحبتي قال أمك قال ثم من ؟ قال : ثم أمك قال : ثم من ؟ قال : ثم أمكThe man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Your father. "
ثم من ؟ قال : ثم أبوكHis mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness
حملته أمه وهناً على وهنHis mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship
حملته أمه كرهاً ووضعته كرهاًThe first category: that he treats them badly, and this is undutifulness to parents.
The second: that he treats them well, and this is dutifulness to parents.
The third: that he is passive, neither treating them well nor badly. This is disobedience to the command to be kind to them. But do we say it is undutifulness to parents? We may say so, because you were commanded to be kind, so how can you not be kind?